I have not been feeling like my usual self, and I believe it is because of anxiety/depression

Thanks so much, it really helps to know that there are others going through similar situations! Your tips actually sound extremely helpful and logical and I will implement them in my life. I feel like most of this anxiety is due to hard classes at school I am taking next year, and I just want to be able to perform well and make my parents proud. My self expectations are too high and that's where I think all this started from but I am going to do my best to break this thing! And as for the cycles you talk about, I totally relate because I feel like one thing leads to another which leads to another and the your just in a huge downward spiral. Huhe thanks for the advise because it means a lot to me that people are willing to help.

As a parent, I can tell you that no matter what my son did or didn't do, whether his grade were great or not, whether he got into a scrape or not, I was always proud of him, and I still am. Most parents feel the same way about their son or daughter. The last thing your parents would want is for you to do any kind of harm to yourself, just to please them. Love is so much bigger than that, dear Cam.

Bravo! The words come from the mouth but are born in the heart!

I have two sons, the firstborn is highly intelligent and learning came easy to him. My second son struggled more .But each human being has both strong and weak points. I always told my sons be the best person you can be but at the same time don't struggle to be that which you are not.

Our children should not strive to make us proud. We love them unreservedly. If they are healthy, happy, doing the best they can then we too are happy.

We ask no more no less

Thanks for the reasurrance, it was something I really needed to hear. Its not only my parents but the driven community I live in. All everyone cares about is how intelligent you are and it just sucks. My self expectations have become too high and I keep failing to meet them which I think brings on this anxiety. 

 Recently I said to another young person on this site that they were not put on this earth to please everyone. You know, Cam, You have to be at peace with yourself. You have to just be yourself not what you think others expect of you. I know there are parents out there who have high expectations of their offspring, sigh, which personally always makes me feel sad because it creates huge pressure and the responsibilty of not disappointing  them on the child, whatever age that child might be, even adult children.

You are going to have to put yourself first. Live a life and each day doing the best you can for yourself and yourself only. I don't know whether or not you feel comfortable discussing your feelings with your parents. That would be the best option and parents can sometimes surprise their children...If not I can only advise you not to set yourself unreasonable targets in life because that creates anxiety in attempting to reach them and huge disappointment if you fail.

You sound like a lovely person by the way but caring about the expectations of others , at the expense of your own happiness,is not the way forward, in my humble opinion.

I will do my best to take this to heart, and will not try and impress everyone. I just want to be the best at everything I do and it's just crippling me. This next week I'm going to try and live at peace with myself as much as I can and try not to worry too much about things. Maybe this will start some kind of chain reaction, 1 week I think is a good start.

People with anxiety disorder are usually conscientous people. When they do a job is has to be right. They are usually punctillious, tidy, orderly, polite people. Their biggest problems is saying NO to anyone, even if it's something they don't want to do.

And the one they most hate saying NO to is themselves! Of course you want to be the best at everything you do, it's part of your psyche....but it comes at a high price.

There comes a time when we have to lighten up, let go of the stranglehold we impose upon ourselves. Not easy i know. Just take it a day at a time, with firm determination not to push yourself to the limit. Life is not, after all, a race. Rush and it passes you by. You miss so much when galloping headlong at full speed.

Enjoy the hours of the day, savour them. Yesterday has passed by, never to return, tomorrow is yet to come, but this day, the here and now, is what  truly matters.

One day at a time works best for changing behavior.

I am amazingly good at some things...I blow myself away!!! Other things I'm so not good at, that I give myself the Miserable Wretch Award.

Think about what you love and are easily good at...that may be your "gift" the thing that you are here to be or do. You may not see it right away. If not, you now know what you are looking for in youself....not what someone else is looking for in you. Some call this Following Your Bliss. There...now you have a new focus...your focus...for you.

I am going to do my best to stand firm and not force my self to do things I think will be to much for me. I will try to lighten up more and not be so up tight about everything. Most of all, I am going to try and live in the now.

I've come to realize some of my strong aspects and I will continue to follow them further. I'm 15 so there is still plenty of time for that and I will try and stay focused on this. One of my problems is I find it hard to focus on each individual thing at a time, life is kind of all jumbled for me. My mind is constantly in different places and different times, then I get scared and think why, which only makes it worse.

I'm proud of you Now hold that thought and don't let it go! There has been some amazing and brilliantly helpful responses to your post. They are such good people.

It restores ones faith in mankind

Honey, life is a jumble for all of us. If someone tells you their life is perfect and predictable, they are either lying, nutty, or have no real life. Just be a teen-ager, Cam. This is a time to have some fun.

Yes it's really nice to know there are still so many good people out there willing to help. Writing this has helped a lot actually a few days ago I was in a really bad state. Ive been getting these 15 minute moments where I feel amazing now which is a good thing. 

15? Fifteen ? I've got a winter coat older than you! Honey, you're an embryo! You shouldn't be worrying yourself at 15!

If you're finding it hard to focus upon things it's because you're trying to "do" too much, to achieve too much. Concentrate on your strengths and put the weaknesses to one side for now instead of trying to overcome them.

You've got a whole lifetime ahead of you to fullfill your dreams.

That is a REALLY good thing, Cam<>)[/b]

I remember being 15 ( I think dinasours were roaming the earthn if my memory serves me right)

Anyway, being 15 sucks. It's the inbetween stage. Not a kid anymore, yet not quite an adult even though you think you are..well, I did anyway. And you're right, Cia, life is a jumble. We never stop learning. We never stop making mistakes. It's a journey and there are times you have to hold onto your hat because it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

And yet again the choir rises to its feet and shouts a resounding  AMEN !!

Thanks so much for all your help. I really feel better about my situation now and less anxious. It really means a lot to know there are people out there willing to take time out of their life to help yours. All this encouragement has made me feel better than I have in a long time.

from now on I'm going to just be a teen and savor these years as much as I can. Thanks for all the help

That is really good news, Cam. Bravo. If or when you need a pick me up, or some encouragement, or just to talk, you know where we are. We are your new cheering team.

)

I couldn't be more proud of you if I'd given birth to you myself.

Way to go, Cam!!!!!!!!!!!

We're all cheering you on!

I'm going to defeat this thing for good this time! 

That's great honey but..don't try too hard to "fightr" it because  that will cause added stress and tension. When we suffer any form of anxiety disorder we  can have what we call " setbacks" and they are a major pain in the ass.

We can be doing so well and then bang, out of the blue, we can feel a bit crappy again. Now then, the important thing here is not to think " Oh no! It's here again! I'll never get rid of it!"

That's just momentary panic and disappointment and re-emerging fear because we thought we'd got rid of the "beast " forever.

This doesn't mean that we will never get rid of it.  It means that how you handle it is vital. If it's there then it's there and it won't go away any quicker by freaking out. You have to accept it, let it flow over you and go about your day as best you can, not rushing round, but just carrying on as normally as you can.

And it will fade, as your mind is diverted then your body will calm down and each further setback, once you learn how to deal with it, will grow less and less until they are gone forever.

As far as medication goes please don't fear it if it becomes necessary honey. I hope you can deal with this without but if not....some can make you feel worse initially but if you can ride that out they are a great help.

Many, many hugs!!!

For me right now my way of fighting this is just letting it pass over me. I think of it like a storm. It comes out of no where, and gets worse. Then passes as quick as it came and is like it was never there in the first place. I'll just let it pass over me, because the more I try to get rid of it the worse it gets. Part of this is because I'm just so worn and tired of trying to figure out why I feel a certain way. I think of the medication as a last resort but it's relaxing knowing if it gets to bead I always have something to drop back on. Talking about it amongst you guys helps a lot for me, thanks for everything.