I have not been feeling like my usual self, and I believe it is because of anxiety/depression
Posted , 3 users are following.
My life was going absolutely perfect, better than it ever had been. I was excelling in sports and achieving grades I never thought were in my capability. I maintained a great social life and was so focused on everything and felt unstoppable. I felt anything I wanted was in my capability and was the happiest I had ever been.
Then one weekend I started to not feel like my usual self. It was as
if not all of me was present and I could not focus on one task. It
was like I was trapped inside my own head. This soon took over,
and I became determined to know what triggered this. I thought of
everything and searched everything I could for answers, which
made it worse and worse. I soon started experiencing
depersonalization and questioned everything. Nothing felt normal to
me and I thought I was going insane. I would get these "attacks"
where I would just be sitting there and then my mind would start
racing, things around me turning disproportionate, and I would get
completely caught up in my own head, as if feeling in a different
place then I actually was. My grades dropped and I hung out with
less friends. I was so scared of what was happening and I did not
seek professional help because I was scared they would tell me I
had some sort of serious untreatable mental disease. I stayed
reserved and spent more time in my own head than in reality. All I
could think about was what this was and how I could fix it, nothing
else mattered. Then the anxiety really came on. I thought I was
getting dumber and started seriously doubting myself, convinced
my iq had gone down. I would go weeks thinking I could not amount
to anything and I was just getting dumber and dumber and my
mental processing speed was slowimg. I started getting mental
blocks where it was hard to think visualize. All this lasted for about
5 months.
Then I thought things were getting better, I felt more confident and
happy and things started going better. I had lots of ups which I had
never had in a while, but there were also some downs. Then school
ended, and it all got worse yet again. This time it was different,
more sad and despairing and I felt unmotivated do daily things. I
still felt strange in the head and abnormal, just like that first
weekend, but I didn't have the energy to constantly think and fight it
like I did before. I was and still am worn out and just tired of all tthese problems. I need help and advise because I just want to feel like I felt 8 months ago.
0 likes, 33 replies
kimberly59704 cam72508
Posted
Well I do think out of the blue, you got an anxiety attack. That's how it happens, all of a sudden bang,it's crazy. Getting it to go away is a whole another story. I would get to your family doc, or GP right away, before this gets out of control. You have already waited a long time. They will get you on a antidepressant, and in no time, you will be yourself again
cam72508 kimberly59704
Posted
I might do that but I feel I'm on a really good upward slope right now. I'm a little weary of antidepressants because my cousin went on them and they just made him feel worse, and that they suppressed his emotions. But if it gets worse again I'm willing to give it a shot.
cia42277 cam72508
Posted
cam72508 cia42277
Posted
To be honest, yes. So one of the reasons I feel this anxiety may have started is because I'm a high school cross country and track athlete who had been unable to perform. I was almost guarenteed a spot on varsity then I messed up my hip. After that came injury after injury whether it be knee, back, ankle, hip, and I was unable to train consistently for about 8 months. These past few weeks I thought my prairs would be answered and my injuries would be healed. Then yesterday I went for a run and when I came back, my knee very sore and I knew I still couldn't run. I haven't been able to do one of the things I love which has been hard on me.
cia42277 cam72508
Posted
Think carefully on this...take some time. Are these athletic activities what YOU love or what you think you should love....what someone else would love for you to do?
With all those injuries one after the other, if you were one of my clients before I retired, and I didn't address this issue, I wouldn't have been doing my job. What if...only what if...a part of you so did not want to do this, to be this, that your unconscious is "tripping you up," so you can stop?
I have had many clients that have hated their jobs, or been bored by their jobs, or their jobs are so not what they want to do, that they started UNCONSCIOUSLY to sabatage their jobs by making mistakes they never had made before, so they got fired.
In almost every case, when they understood what was going on, they went on to successful careers that really suited them.
I know this is a huge thing for anyone, especially one so young to think about. You do not need to reply to this at all. I just put it out to think about.....for days or weeks or months if you need to. This should not be stressful since you are simply looking into you own life, in your own way...to find out more about the person you are going to live with for the rest of your life.....YOU.
You are unique, unlike any other person on this earth. Part of what a teen is doing during these years is exploring who they really are, and what they really want.
It's like trial and error. If family, society, etc. doesn't encourage this curiosity, one can end up years later saying how the heck did I get here? You are totally okay, Honey, you just don't know it yet...but I know it, Cam! And, remember, thoughts are only thoughts...not real
helen20833 cam72508
Posted
Wow! Cia's reply is so insightful so read it and take it in because there is wisdom in what she says.
At 15 disappointment is hard to accept and not being able to do something you love is heartbreaking and my own heart goes out to you. I hope you "heal" so that you might continue along this path. But, and this is a big but, honey, you're 15! There are other avenues open to you, a whole lifetime before you, a whole host of options. If you have to change direction, so to speak, and I say if by the way, then you have to look elsewhere for something you love.
It is apparent that your knee being sore when you had hoped to be back to full strength, has crushed you emotionally. What you cannot change then you have to accept with good grace and not let it fester.
More hugs