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Mum had been in and out of hospital for about 5 years as she kept falling and has so many health problems. Although she is now in a nursing home, I feel the need to visit her daily as she is so unhappy and helpless at present. We had no choice but for her to go there as she could not walk and could not do very much for herself. She has recently deteriorated so much that she now cannot feed herself and is in bed all day waiting to be changed or given a drink or food. She can't press her call bell for help. She is now unable to swallow. I feel so hepless. She must feel ten times worse.
My 87 year old father is now living alone, which makes him sad. He did his best to keep her at home, along with my help. They have been married for 65 years. He suffers from dizzyness, believed to be vertigo. Sometimes he is all over the place and having to hold on to things around him. He has an appointment with a specialist next month. He also suffers from varicose eczma and from time to time gets painful ulcers on his legs, both interfere with his sleep at night. I also visit him almost every day or phone him. I dread turning the key in his door. Always worrying about what I will find. If for any reason he does not answer his phone I go rushing round there. I also cook and clean for him. His bed needs changing at least twice a week because of the state of his legs.
I am regularly taking him to doctors and hospital appointments (opticians etc). Until recently was also accompanying mum to hospital appointments.
Whilst it must be difficult worrying for one parent the strain of two parents in two different places is immense.
I sit with mum and regularly cry when she sleeps, which is most of the time and sometimes a tear has run down her cheek. I go to bed and cry becaue it is awfull seeing your parents in this situation and also because I am so stressed and concerned.
I had to take early retirement because I could not cope with it all. I feel so sorry for both parents now being separated. I love them both dearly but don't know how much longer I can keep up with all the running around.
I feel very alone. Not many people are talking about two parents. I understand the stress of one. Is there anybody else out there having to do the same as I am, for two? How are you coping with it?
I wonder if there will ever be light at the end of the tunnel!
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