I haven't been thinking clearly for years and my memory is awful

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I've been putting up with moderate but continual anxiety and depression for years now to the point where I think feeling like this has become normalised. However, as I get older, I'm realising that these issues are starting to severely affect my quality of life

For at least fifteen years now I seem to have been suffering from problems such as:

Poor short and long term memory

Can't think clearly or strategically

Poor concentration

Can't express myself clearly

Struggle to think of things to say to people

Seem to have nothing on my mind most of the time

Can't hold many thoughts in my head at the one time

If I read things I struggle to remember in any detail what they are almost as soon as I've finished reading, ditto if I'm listening to something

I feel emotionally flat

Have difficulty having a deep or meaningful relationship with anyone

These issues are permanent and don't come and go - for example, I can't remember a time when I've felt clear headed and able to remember things well.

The frustrating thing is that academically I seem to be quite smart but my cognitive ability is very poor. I went back to uni 6 years ago, did well and I recently got a good new job. However i am struggling due to my memory, concentration and ability to deal with multiple strands of information. It's being noticed and commented on by colleagues and I'm really worried I won't be able to cope and will have to quit.

I've found I've always struggled at any workplace I've had due to these cognitive issues but until now have always had mundane, low responsibility jobs where I could get away with it.

I'm on propanolol every day which lessens some of the physical symptoms but I still get tight chested and short of breath when stressed and minor things (mostly at work) get me panicky.

I've tried prozac which for 8 weeks which had no noticeable effect and citalopram for 6 weeks which just made me nauseous and gave me a weird feeling in my head. I took venlafaxine for the first time on Saturday and it floored me - Sickness, diarrhoea, dizziness, pressure in my head and anxiousness. I'm scared to take it again now- there's no way I could go to work like that.

My doctor booked me in with an NHS psychiatrist but the waiting list is 9 months so I'm thinking I'll have to go private, which I can't really afford but I need to do something about this. I've ignored it for too long.

I'm feeling really hopeless, withdrawn and worried right now. Has anyone experienced similar long term symptoms and if so, have you found anything that's helped make things better?

Sorry for the rambling email but I've not really talked to anyone about this other than my doctor and I really need to speak to others about this, hopefully people who have gone through or are experiencing similar issues.

Thanks for reading.


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  • Posted

    There is a permanent fix for thissad sorry for the long post, but if it helps someone then smile ).

    I have been going with similar phase. But i do recommend something.

    I think all these things start to happen when you have excess pressure and stress or depression, which i think make the brain numb.

    So, First of all test your vitamins levels. Mostly the main factor is B12 and other variants of Vitamin B.

    Secondly, I think brain goes into deep hibernation or response numbness. I call it "rusty brain". Now you have to something to crap off the rust. Re-energizing brain neurons with the help of meditation.

    How to do meditation :

    (Original video was in hindi, translated to English. So there might be some language errors)

    So the process of meditation is explained in the initial minutes. I recommend you to follow that methodology.(As there are various)

    Now at least do that for 3 to 6 months daily, depending from how long you have been facing this issue.

    ( If you didnt get the meditation method from video i will explain you here)

    Thirdly, don't pressurize yourself to perform better. Stress is brain's enemy. So you need to chill relax and enjoy the life. Eat healthy and avoid meat. Do some exercise or yoga for at least 20 mins a day

    Fourthly, Don't stick to Digital world ( i mean to say: dont use mobiles laptops unnecessarily) Actually we have tendency to lessen our suffering or getting over boredom with the help of digital world( scrolling through the facebook post and unnecessarily watching youtube videos). This creates distracted thought process or numbness( just feeding information without really processing that info. Which leads to information overloading. Brain gets confused: which info to process or to store, The real world or the virtual world.)

    I am saying this because our brain is in weak stage. So first we need to strengthen it, so it can process thoughts and information effectively and efficiently.

    And last thing don't be lazy. Stand up do the work that you have thought.

    And avoid multitasking as much as you can for certain period.

    So what we are doing here and why all these restrictions. ( Its like you have to go to gym to make the muscle):

    Actually first we are dosing what is deficient. So the brain get its fuel.

    So with the meditation we are training our brain to function properly, because it has really forgotten its abilities because of huge stress.

    So in meditation brain again learns to process thought calmly and step by step only focusing on required information. Increasing focus, decreasing anxiety and stress.

    Lastly the digital thing is like parasite for our brain. So for a period of time it is necessary to avoid this parasite and need to strengthen our brain.

    *Note*(for men): " If you are overmastrubating please limit it( max 2-3 times a week) which depletes our resources".

    Thankyou. And sorry of this long long post (and for english lang errors if i did any, english is my second language)

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    • Posted

      I really like your comment.  I 100 percent agree with the meditation and stress points. Stress is the number 1 killer but please look into my comment about the eyes. It will help 
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  • Posted

    Hi, the solution to this problem is your eyes. I know  it sounds unrelated but I somehow got lucky enough to find this. I'm sorry that you have been dealing with this so long. Download the App accleread. It will train your eyes and help you think a lot faster. Sometimes I find myself in extreme euphoria just my own thoughts. I understand this problem and I know that sometimes you might be trying sooo hard but still can't get stuff done. It's your eyes. You might have a very slight form of lazy eye. I know this sounds crazy but just trust me. Get the app accleread and make sure to use your eyes to read. And it's free but you'll want to get the full app when you start seeing the results.

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  • Posted

    I know this is was 3 years ago when you posted this . but have you overcome this problemb because I was in shock reading your post as I have the same problemb I put it down to anxiety and ptsd and a whole list of over problembs but not sure . I have quit all my medications as i though that would bring my memory back but im still the same I cannot watch tv anymore and my concentration is awful any advice would be greatful . also when people in my life talk to me its as if it all goes through me withought any though.
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  • Posted

    hi col

    i to have this problem my long term memory is fine but its short term i have a problem with and i cannot concentrate or remember things that have just heard i listen but like the saying goes through one ear and out the other that how it feels like i just recently left my part time job as a waiter due to my memory and concentration id forget peoples orders and have to repeatedly ask them what they were having even when i try so hard to remember and concentrate and my employers got really mad with me about it. i failed my GCSEs because of this as well i could have listened to an entire lesson and by the end of it not remembered a thing

    this started about 2008 when i moved back to the UK from ascension so it was a big move and i had just started school so everything change shortly after my parents got divorced so that adds more fuel to the problem ever since i couldn't really make friend and when i did i could never understand them it hard to explain but i never felt they truly liked me and were out to get me this is the same with my family but not as bad it doesn't help i was bullied most of my school life in 2015 i moved to my dads and step mum and her family hoping it might change and it just made it worse my dad took me to a family therapist but it didn't help and i don't really remember what it was about i think school put me in it due to what i would write in my books and then in 2018 i moved back when my mum because i was getting worse he just wasn't helping and i like i said i felt i wasn't wanted and they were out to get me

    also i have trouble day dreaming i could be listening to something and then the next thing i know i've been daydreaming for ages i don't feel like ive got any control over it

    i don't like interacting with people ill happily go out somewhere but i struggle with groups of people even if its a mall amount i feel like im going to have a panic attack also unless someone speaks to me i wont speak to anyone unless their family even then i'm rather quite and struggle to keep a full conversation. until recently i couldn't look anyone in there eyes id just look around or something in there general direction and even now after i've had conversations i have panic attacks nothing big just ill start shaking and lightly crying

    another thing when talking to people and interacting with people is i worry ill do something stupid or up set them and often if i get blamed for something (i have a little brother so that happens often) or feel i need to say something or stand up for myself i don't and ill spend most of the time especially when i was at work trying not to burst into tires because i do get upset easily and i don't have much self confidence

    on top of this i do suffer from depression (self diagnosed) and have been know to self harm and i beat myself up physically and emotionally over little things for the past couple of years i started to think that it has something to do with something in my brain like cancer or a tumore or a brain defect but i have no clue and thats when i found you post and now i'm not alone

    i'm not on any meds but have been on some med in the past but i don't know what they were

    nice to know im not alone-simon

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