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When I wake up in the morning I feel like vomiting and I normally always vomit in the shower. I don't eat much so nothing but bile and liquid comes out.. You would be shocked to know I don't eat much because when I started drinking I was 135 pounds now I'm almost 300 pounds. It's mostly my stomach. I try to ignore it and go about my day knowing I'll have my vodka in the evening, but, it's getting scary. I'm nauseous all the time until I have a drink. I have a weird pain where I know my liver sits under my right rib. I think I'm slowly dying. I'm terrified to see a doctor because I don't want to hear the truth. I know they'll tell me it's too late.. I don't know what to do. My stomach keeps growing and I'm embarrassed by it. I hate being in public, I hate knowing that they're seeing this huge person and my friends all knew me as a little 135 pound person. It's embarrassing that they're thinking "what the hell happened to him!?" But at the same time I can't stop. I need help. I'm not entirely sure I want to die yet. I'm only 29 years old.
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