I'm broken
Posted , 11 users are following.
Hi
I'm broken, I have no one to turn to, no one that really cares and have too much going on to cope with.
I don't know where to turn anymore...no one gives a s**t, no one cares what I'm going through or even knows. The one and only person I could talk to has given up on me like everyone else. I don't know what to do anymore, there is no point in going on, I'm failing my child. So much in my head it's going to explode. Hurting inside so much. I don't know what to do. 😢😢
1 like, 24 replies
lester90053 Kaloui
Posted
Kaloui lester90053
Posted
I doubt that 😑
damian16488 lester90053
Posted
phyllis11904 Kaloui
Posted
Kaloui phyllis11904
Posted
Been there done that got the t-shirt...they all gave up on me long ago! There is no professional help and support available to me, I've tried 😢
mike09523 Kaloui
Posted
Could you take your time and give more details of your situation, this may help us to give you support.
It sounds like you have tried all usual methods of help, what a shame that you are now abandoned by all social care.
Mike.
pat11750 Kaloui
Posted
Think 🤔 about what really going on and then u might get some answers
holly1998 pat11750
Posted
Hey.. I'm feeling the same.
I live on a small island, with s**t doctors (excuse my language)
They don't really listen, don't really take you seriously. I actually went earlier today for advice and got referred to a specialist which I'm surprised by. No one really seems to believe me. Which sucks.
I feel.. like no one cares too most of the time.
Most of the time I'm like a normal person, whatever normal person is in 2018. Other times I feel like I have this thing inside me that I cannot control. I do believe however, the only person that ultimately can help yourself is unfortunately you.
It may seem impossible.
But I have come a long way within myself in the past 4 years.. So I say anything is possible.
Do what you like. Find anything you enjoy and just do it. No excuses. It will help. Help others too. It will motivate you into believing that you are a good person. Not what your head may tell you.
I think most of all, and the biggest thing I try to remember is...
No matter how real it may feel. It isn't. or how much you think it will never get better, it will.
damian16488 Kaloui
Posted
I really do know this feeling. And unfortunately I cant give you much help as Im in the same boat myself. All I can say is your sentance "Im failing my child" : if you have a child in your care, for the love of god get over your problems, put them to the back of your head and just get on with it. You may say " well ive tried that" or "its too hard", but it doesnt matter. My mental problems stem from my mothers mental problems when she raised me, dont expose your child to that. If you cant be a good parent, give your child to social services, otherwise buck up and get the child a good life. On the other hand, if your child is over 18 and isnt relying on your support, then talk to your child, look at them, use them as an excuse to mentally fight the problem. In all honest I cant say s**t because im in the same position myself at only 23 and I know how hard it is, I really, really do. But I know for an absolute fact that If i had a child, i would buck up and push on, and if I couldnt, then id give the child away, dont expose them to our bull thats for sure.
With every day brings change. Yesterday I had slashed my arm open and today ive got a 9 inch cut down my arm with stitches and bandages holding it together, luckily I avoided any arteries, but today I feel clearer and less suicidal, so just try to push on, with everyday brings adifferent mindset, and maybe if you keep trying youll wake up one day feeling a lot better!
Kaloui damian16488
Posted
Wish I could just get over my problems! And I wouldn't be here if I wasn't trying to fight for their sake. I manage to hide it from them as much as possible but it's hard. Removing my child would do them more harm than good despite what you think from your experience....Every situation and family is different.
I just want a bit of support, someone to talk to.
When I say I'm failing my child it is because I am unable to go into their school and sort things out at the moment, put them back on track with her SENs and find out how they are doing etc. I have asked for help to do this but everyone I have gone to say it's not their role. Every time I attempt to sort this situation I am too emotional to carry through.
AlexandriaGizmo Kaloui
Posted
To be able to look at yourself and be honest and constructive and have a plan of action is half the battle, your last post was a lot more positive compared to your others, any help you think we can offer you i promise we are all hear you and respond, are you In the UK if so I have many links I can send you, I also spent time in the mental health sector, sadly now not quite as active.
Kaloui
Posted
Thanks for all the replies.
I will try and explain my situation as simply as possible....
I have emotional unstable personality disorder, depression and anxiety. I was with the community mental health team up until the beginning of last year when they discharged me mid crisis! I don't feel able to work with them any more because of the way I've been treated in the past. To cut a long story short after going to my GP numerous times after that I have been told there is nothing he can do. I am not high enough need for CMHT and too higher need for health in mind which is the service the GPs use...they do not take anyone with a diagnosis of EUPD. My only support was an out of hours help/support line for my area where I trusted and was able to communicate with one of the members of staff on the line when they were on! They have suddenly changed their approach to me and I can't handle it so now left with nothing. I have tried every avenue you could possibly think of to get some help especially when I have had serious thoughts of taking mine and my childs life but there is nothing/no one. I have had a hard time accepting this fact and that even if a child's life is in danger no one helps! I am so angry with services I can not tell u!
Having this diagnosis stops u getting any help or support from anywhere ?
AlexandriaGizmo Kaloui
Posted
First of I would say that if you seriously are considering taking your life and your child's you should consider placing them in a place of safety, their being is not yours to take, you will come straight back at me and say that you wouldn't really do it, if that's the case don't say it, next I hear your saying that you cannot cope anymore and that your not getting any help, you have been given help you just aren't thinking it's helping and of course it want if your not meeting them half way and decide it's no use without giving it time, maybe 6 months or more.
What medication are you taking, is that also not working for you
I know I'm abrupt but I also know from experience that tough love is better than me feeding your sympathy vote.
What do you think will help if everything else doesn't, what treatment are you hoping to be offered
Kaloui AlexandriaGizmo
Posted
If u read the last post u would realise I'm not being given any help ...I am not high enough need for one service and too higher need for the other!
Children's services are aware of the thoughts I have been getting but again they are not interested....they left it over a month after a referal was made based on my thoughts before even contacting me which I personally think is a joke!
I do not feel strongly about taking mine and my childs life all the time but when I do get periods of those thoughts they are strong and the only thing that makes sense in that moment.
For the record tough love is not a good approach for everyone especially someone with EUPD. It may work for you but it is not always helpful.
hypercat Kaloui
Posted
Alex replies to a lot of people here and is very well thought. He always does his best to help. I am not sure what advice you want or need? Are you looking for sympathy? If you have tried everything medical and you can't get any more help then there is only the self help route available. Have a look at mindfulness, yoga, and mediation. I don't know of anything else which is left for you to try but I hope you find some answers. x
AlexandriaGizmo hypercat
Posted
Hi Julie, thank you for your support, it's not that I'm unfeeling and it's not that I don't understand mental health issues, obviously I think I do 🙄 I just think from personal experience sympathy doesn't always give good results, some people do though, has to be a personal thing and so long as it works then that's the way to go, if nothing works though you have to start examining your attitude towards the help you are being offered, hence my comments, if I have offended any one I apologize
AlexandriaGizmo
Posted
hypercat AlexandriaGizmo
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AlexandriaGizmo hypercat
Posted
No their isn't, but I can come across as harsh I know but having seen the way being a co dependant can have adverse effects on people with different forms of memtal health problems I have always believed honesty to be the best approach, thanks again for your support it is appreciated.