I'm continually scared
Posted , 12 users are following.
Why all the negative thoughts? I feel so poorly at the moment . I do try to stay positive and continue as normally as possible . I have tried to talk to my family and explain how I'm feeling but all I get is " everyone goes through it ,you just have to get on with it "! The past few days have been extreme . Very low , crying ,such awful thoughts I'm almost believing there real. I want to sleep all the time in hope when I wake up I will feel like me again! I feel like I'm in another body ,screaming to get out . Without this forum I feel I would go crazy and I thank everyone of you for sharing ,this has really helped me as I'm sure it has a lot of ladies.
I only hope there will be more awareness and help to how this changes your life and the struggle we all can go through .
4 likes, 32 replies
nanette44686 samantha_12886
Posted
Hi Sam you are definitely not on your own I'm exactly the same so worn out with it all I have my husband and two teenage boys who are not sympathetic at all I work full time run a home and have all the 66 symptoms of perimeno to deal with just exhausted I feel totally down with it all trying to put a brace face on all the time when really I feel like hibernating till it's all over been able to talk with all you lovely ladies has helped a lot sending 🤗 xxx
littleme1969 samantha_12886
Posted
juanita93228 samantha_12886
Posted
For the most part I'm doing okay, BUT, currently my health anxiety is through the roof! I feel as though every ache, or pain is some dread disease! I have been to all my doctor's appointments this year and everything has been fine. But all I can think about is "doctors don't know everything, people have died months after going to the doctor". I didn't help that a guy that works in my agency was on guard duty, went in for some random hip pain, was diagnosed with this aggressive form of cancer called angiosarcoma, and was dead in three weeks, two days before his 39th birthday. I didn't really know him and I had seen him around when I worked in another building but that has been on my mind. It seems like when you're in menopause you just worry about everything. I try not to though, but it's hard. I just got out a relationship that was going nowhere and I should be happy but yet I sit here worrying because my boobs feel like they are burning sometimes and my underarms are tender from using a very abrasive deodorant for too long(it didn't help that I watched a story on the news where this lady had a pain in her underarm only to go in be diagnosed with the big C, but she survived. I get a mammogram once a year and do a self breast exam every month. I cannot continue to have these negative thoughts, because half the battle is being positive. I have just been praying and praying and trying to keep busy and keep the negative thoughts at bay.
You are not alone Samantha, finding this forum was a Godsend for me. Just think, our mothers didn't have this they had to suffer though "the change" in silence. We can at least talk/vent to each other and give each other ideas of how to get through it. Much love and (((((hugs))))) to you!
samantha_12886 juanita93228
Posted
I also think every ache/pain is a serious illness. I get so scared I cry . I never imagined the menapause to be like this. I have two older sisters who sailed through it !so they say . I'm quite a strong person but this has made me weak . There should be much more support ,I've found none ! Until now that is . I call this forum my friend. Lol.
Lots of hugs
juanita93228 samantha_12886
Posted
I have one sister that claimed to have sailed through it, but the other one thought she was dying. Her husband was taking her to the doctor all the time because no one told her menopause basically makes you feel like a crazy person. She told me it was a very dark period of her life, and when I started going through it that I could talk to them. Well, guess what? I don't talk to her(middle sister) about it because she is very negative. It was a dark time in her life a she doesn't want to talk about it, and that's fine. My oldest sister is just a busy bee and really didn't have any problems except hot flashes, so we just talk about fun stuff. So I talk to my friends, some are in peri and some are in menopause, and I get on this forum and talk to you ladies. I cannot say enough about God guiding me to this forum.
jo4848 samantha_12886
Posted
Hi,
?Yes, I feel like this too and my health anxiety is through the roof.
?I am normally a strong confident person but the last 6 months have been hell. It all started with changes to my period, mid cycle spotting, spotting before and after period and after exercise. Had ultrasounds, etc, they found a fibroid and possibly a polyp but I need to go back as, similarly to another lady's post on here, they couldn't get to where they wanted in order to have a good look so I need to go back. Everyone says it's probably just hormones and I have read so many similar stories on here but I find it so upsetting that I am a shadow of what I used to be. Constantly thinking about it and imagining all sorts. Scared to make plans for the future. It's awful.
?I used to be quite active, especially since I started running 3 years ago. It makes me happy and I am fitter now than I was at school but the spotting has put me off running which is depressing me even more. I too don't want to go out with my friends, especially as most of them I met through running and now I don't go as much.
?Keep up with the exercise, it's really good for you and will make you feel more positive. We will all get through it eventually. I am so glad I found this forum.
?xx
laura370 jo4848
Posted
If this makes you feel better, I read that women going through peri shouldn't feel guilty if you can't exercise because exercise at this time can actually have the reverse effect and make you feel worse because it raises your blood pressure. I used to exercise a lot as well and, like you, I would feel full of guilt when I missed it. I just try and get through the day now without losing my head. 😊 Just food for thought. Hang in there girl! We're getting through this together. Thanks for sharing your story.
maria76995 samantha_12886
Posted
Hi when I started to go through this I was told the same thing people going through it get on with it, now to me that's not supporting people all call that CRUEL Behaviour..what ever your going through it will,get better with time,it's always worst when you first started but calm down with each passing year,but I really know how you are feeling,thoughts are terrible making you think bad but can't harm us nothing can its hormones messing about with our bodies,try thinking about things you would love to do in the future,if you have to talk to yourself do so,making plans even if your not going anywhere it just takes the edge off the crap and as time pass it will,get less,I'm not so bad now 5 years on but still have hot flashes bit of the odd thoughts wondering if it will be like where I was before this but I hear people say it will,passed hold on to those words tight for reassurance Hugs.
laura370 maria76995
Posted
Thank you Maria for your reassuring words. It's sad when I look back on my mom, grandma and aunt and thought they were going mad. Yet now I understand what was going on. But unfortunately talking about these things out loud is considered taboo, so everyone just held on and got through it. Yet because nobody talked about it they didn't warn us what was going to happen so we're all thinking we're going crazy. So our generation needs to change and scream about it from the highest rooftops so our daughters and granddaughters won't be ashamed to talk about their symptoms and they hopefully won't have to go through the confusion that we're going through. All I have to say is thank God for social media that we can go to and we don't have to be alone with our pain. Love all you women out there that are daring enough to share even though it may be embarrassing or hard. Together we'll all make a difference for the future women ?
maria76995 laura370
Posted
Hi Laura, your right there our parents and grandparents did not tell us but I think they don't want to scare you,or because they been through it long time before you did they don't remember the symptoms, my mum didn't even talk about hot flashes all she said are going to talk about that all the time nice support eh..I fighting through it and I'm getting through it from day to day I had good support from here and another website, I also have a meno friend that lives in the Uk and we talk once a week and help one another a lot she is post, I'm out of peri in December people say you should feel better after but it seems some people hell just be gone and some people own wearing off but always remember nothing is for ever ((((((HUGS))))))
Amalie13 samantha_12886
Posted
Thank goodness for this forum. I am 50, and this has been the year from hell. I am experiencing all of the symptoms on this discussion. The depression, anxiety, negative thoughts, hopelessness, sleeplessness..... I work full time for an attorney...and I have not gotten out of bed for the last two days. Under the guise of the flu. Taking 40 mg of Paxil and Ativan, which help somewhat, but seem to be less effective. I hate feeling this way. So out of control and helpless. Husband does not understand. And I don't want to burden my 76 year old mom. Just want to cry and sleep. The only thing I hang onto are the reassuring comments in this group. And that I am not alone.
laura370 Amalie13
Posted
Amalie we are definitely in the same boat. I'm 51 and my husband just keeps saying, "stop thinking negative thoughts ". Yeah okay. And I have no other female figure to turn to. At least you can get up and go to work. I can barely get myself motivated to do everyday tasks. Plus, my stomach always feels nervous. Everything tastes horrible and makes me feel ill. I keep telling myself this too shall pass. Try to think of like being in labor. Just as soon as you think this is the last straw and you can't take one minute more of it, you do and try of think of how much better you'll feel once it's over. We'll all feel accomplished and that we did it!!!! Then we can enjoy life. 😊
Amalie13 laura370
Posted
Thanks for your reply. Since last year, my emotions have been horrible. My dad passed last October, and it took many months to help my mother sort things. Which coincided with the beginning of my "change of life ". Suffered with horrific periods, which I had never experienced. And I am predisposed to anxiety/depression/OCD, all of which intensified greatly. I don't have many female friends, which makes things difficult. And no children.... Which would probably keep me so busy, that my demons would subside. 50 is a horrible age. Looking back and forward, simultaneously. I just wish that my sorrow and anxiety would subside. Like it has done in the past.
Amalie13 laura370
Posted
I basically force myself to go to my low pressure job, which is pathetic. I work for a 77 year old attorney, who is about to retire. My hours are 10-5, with tons of wiggle room. For the past 2 days, I feigned illness. At times, I feel positive..... Like looking for a new career plan, etc. other times, I can't even face the day. Who would even want to hire me, unless it was a part time, menial position. And I dont want to make my husband regret marrying me (we have only been married 7 years.... Together 17)
laura370 Amalie13
Posted
I know what you mean about your husband getting tired of you. My husband and I go round and round lately where I think one day he's going to say I'M DONE!!! He tells me constantly that he loves me and of course my mind says, "how could you when I can't even stand myself". I know I get on his nerves with all my insecurities, but my brain keeps telling me he's tired of me. We've been married almost 30 years and I have rarely doubted our marriage, but lately I've been putting him through the wringer. Imagining all kinds of things and taking everything he says negatively. It's horrible!!! I keep apologizing about my actions, but he has heard it so many times and he keeps saying that he thinks I'm saying these things because I'm trying to push him away. This is putting so much stress on our marriage and I feel so guilty. I also have always had issues with depression/anxiety and this thing is multiplying all these symptoms to the point where I'm losing it and crying everyday. I lost my mom a year ago and I hoped it would bring my dad and I closer, but lately I'm watching my dad go through a major mid-life crisis with going out with mainly women and all I can do is watch this while mourning for my mom and that's also adding to my already problems. I wish I was a drinker so I could get away from all of this. I'm sorry about what you're going through trust me, but keep com
laura370
Posted
Coming back to this forum regularly and read how you're not in this alone. 😊😊😊😊