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I'm creeping back

Posted , 6 users are following.

rainbow2014
rainbow2014

Hello

I've been trying so hard the last couple of months . Two glasses max plus second dilutued ! but now I seem to be going back to my old ways ! This may sound odd but its as though I'm testing myself . Before , previously I would drink then become very tearful and emotional and many nights cry myself to sleep . I have recently been on a mindfulness course plus am a counsellor myself and have adpoted a very positive approach to my drinking .... I can have a little more than would probably make me emotional !!! but now , I'm able to control that and smile and feel happy smile . Am I sounding crazy ? , trying to convince myself its ok maybe ? I dont want to go back to where I was ! which was a bottle a night or a little more !

Any advice would be great thanks .

I am also single , love my music and love to switch off with that and a glass of wine after a stressful day . I have little support but two great teenage kids that do understand . I do worry though as Im very oversensistive

Sorry , so much x

0 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • rachel89617
    rachel89617 rainbow2014

    Posted

    You have the support of everyone here, all I can say is you can do it!

    Try and think how it is good for your health mind and well being to cut down and how bad drinking a bottle everyday made you feel

    I remember well and I have had a bottle today (a couple at lunch and a couple this eve) I know tomorrow and the next day etc I will have none 😀

    I'm no councillor but I come on here for support and to tell me I'm doing well and to say it's ok to have bad days and to struggle

    I think from experience being alone is harder, but just keep talking, there's always someone to talk to x

    You are not alone ❤️❤️

    • rainbow2014
      rainbow2014 rachel89617

      Posted

      Thank you so much Rachel

      Think youve hit the nail on the head really . I've been on my own for many years now . Im really a very positive person but sometimes its hard . I've got some really exciting stuff workwise going on tomorrow and need a clear head . Ive had a bottle but the meeting is not until half four . I will be fine . It is nice to share good news

      Thanks for your support xx

    • rachel89617
      rachel89617 rainbow2014

      Posted

      Good luck 👍❤️

      Even if I'm no help always here if you want to talk xx

    • rainbow2014
      rainbow2014 rachel89617

      Posted

      Thanks

      You are help , lots smile

      I've just poured a quarter of glass back into bottle so I have not had a full bottle tonight . Youve been great support ,

      Hope you have a good week , thank you xx

  • YLT
    YLT rainbow2014

    Posted

    Hi. Would you consider stopping drinking altogether? Everyone's different obviously but I tried to moderate for years and all that ever happened was I'd end up back where I started, drinking way too much and not being in control of it.

    In my experience, trying to moderate only ever gets harder, being 100% sober only ever gets easier. 

    Have you read Mrs D's blog? If not, I'd strongly recommend it. A NZ woman's journey from drinking too much wine to total sobriety. Really inspiring. If you want to find it Google 'Mrs D is going without'

    Good luck xx

    • rainbow2014
      rainbow2014 YLT

      Posted

      Hello YLT

      Thank you so much for your reply . You are correct smile I've been down the same road many times myself although I have never done so well as the last few months ! I may be kidding myself though as I do think about that one glass and abit that I have everyday too often .

      I will take a look at Mrs D later today so thanks for that smile

      I'm definately going in the right direction and thanks for your support

      take care xx

  • Robin2015
    Robin2015 rainbow2014

    Posted

    HI Rainbow.  I am repeating some advice already given and suggest stop drinking altogether. This may be very hard to do but you might be feeling less tearful and even happier. You are already a positive person and can analyse your own feeling. let us know what happens smile
    • rainbow2014
      rainbow2014 Robin2015

      Posted

      Hello again Robin smile

      Thank you for your continuing support ! I know you are right . I just have to take that leap . Basically I have to learn to deal , cope and manage my own emotions , happy , sad , excited , frustration etc without the need for wine !!!

      I will let you know , thank you x

  • charles54091
    charles54091 rainbow2014

    Posted

    Hello Rainbow2014

    Having quit drinking alcohol and smoking cigaretts many times, I consider myself

    knowlegeable on these subjects.  I am 77, and I quit cigaretts many times because of the bad side effects, and I quit all alcohol about 15 years ago because of the side effects too, the worse being a Peripheral Neuropathy, which is progressive even after quitting drinking.  It starts with numb feet and loss of sensation and balance in my case, making walking and driving difficult.  I never knew PN even existed.......  And there are other effects since it is progressive, and there is no cure.  Mine started with a feeling of 'worms' under my skin on my feet and legs.  The doctor knew exactly what it was, and I quit that same day, the first of many attempts.  

    Alcohol will win and you will lose if you don't stop.  And you must find a method that fits you, that you can support.  With smoking I would have a 'smoke in', where I would start smoking strong cigarettes as fast as I could for as long as I could, and hopefully getting myself good and sick.  Ditto with alcohol, get blinded until the stuff disqusts you and it just tastes bad.  I enjoyed alcohol, but not cigarettes, I really hated cigarettes.  I tried every brand, plus all the menthols and at the end they all made me sick......

    Be very serious with yourself, and do it for your kids and family, as well as for yourself.  I lost a wife to lung cancer when she was 66 and had smoked since she was 13 years old.  She drank right up to the end also.  

    Truth be told, six months down the road and you won't miss either cigarettes or alcohol.  It's time to start living a real life that can carry you into old age.  Best wishes to you......  Sure it's tough, but it's worth it, 100%.......

    charley

    I grew up with two hard liquor addicts and then followed their examples many times

    • rainbow2014
      rainbow2014 charles54091

      Posted

      Hello Charles

      Thank you for sharing that with me . i'm sorry to hear of the trauma you have experenced in  your life in many areas ! Its very nice of you to help others such as my self  smile

      What makes u happy now ?

      Im doing well by realising certain issues going on hve to change !!

      Thanks for taking time to write to me x

    • charles54091
      charles54091 rainbow2014

      Posted

      Hello Rainbow2014

      I remember just really getting fed up with myself, especially when I was depressed, which was alot.  My drinking was usually fairly well concealed, never obvious and as little as possible around kids.  Truthfully I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have all these health issues, I sometimes doubt I would have quit drinking.  Quitting smoking is easier than quitting alcohol.  But now I'm 77 and retired, but starting to fade.  There's less stress living alone out in the woods too.  And it seems easier now to look back but not get as emotional about it all.  Like finishing a race, and It makes me happy just to slow down.  And currently I'm using medical marijuana to maintain my sanity, it is a crazy world.  You have to determine what future you want, and what it will take to get there.  Sometimes I know it's a matter of friends, of how to keep friends if they are drinking and running wild and you want to be more serious.  Being happy really does come easier without drinking.   

      Visualize a future where you're happy.....

      charley

       

  • GTAndy77
    GTAndy77 rainbow2014

    Posted

    I haven't done one day dry this year, i have a meeting with swanswell Friday, i will get there I have to, you are not alone, i wonder if I'll be a better person if I can do this, bet you do to...
  • rainbow2014
    rainbow2014

    Posted

    hi Andy

    Best of luck to you . Only you can make the changes although lots of support on here smile

    I'm doing ok at the moment , feeling happier and more positive

    wink

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