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Right now i'm on the way to a path of destruction. I been stabbed in the back too many times and my enemies have got the better of me once again, I havn't got the energy no more... i have lost interest in all the things i used to love doing and now i force myself to even do something. I feel so miserable everyday i feel like i'm in a nightmere... people's voices make my skin creep, i feel like i'm dying or something i feel so lost within myself... there's not 1 day goes by without me thinking about death, i feel like i should be in some trash bag with a hole in my head being ready to be crushed i can feel myself being slowly detached from this world through all the trauma i been through i have done extremely well to be were i am today and sh** is my thanks. I cry all the time because of the hurt i'm going through... i just want to feel numb 24/7, School life didn't work out for me, college life didn't work out for me, family life didn't work out for me, i am too hurt to connect to this world... my heart is broken... everytime i leave the house i always plug my earphones in because i hate the sound of life and being alive. And even today when i went out for a walk in nature i still felt alone like if i'm not part of this world. I really am a peice of sh** right now... i havn't got nothing mutch going for me, i suffered alot,i even considered to drink and do painkillers because of the hurt i'm going through and i thought if i'm hurting i made aswell hurt even more, i just wish somebody can just put a needle in me so i can finally end this nightmare and be in heavenly peace. Amen
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