I’m Really Struggling Girlies

This is a reply to all you lovely supportive girlies who have taken the time to read and reply to me and all your advice I’m so grateful I could cry. 

I just started listening to headspace last week and that mans voice is so lovely I want him to come and live with me😀.

i thought I was ok today as it’s saturday and I’m not in work so iv done all my housework and just nipped to the local small shop BAM my head went tight and I was off balance again, only bought a few things then I had to get out, I was so mad with myself I just wanted to cry, I got home and stormed in the door and threw my bag down ( bit of a child trantrum going on here😡 I would just like to do ordinary things that other ladies are doing.  Anyway I thought I’d come the forum and now after reading all your lovely replies I feel humble and iv got over myself. 

I hope your your all having a better day today I will be thinking of you.

thanks again, love to all on this forum 🤗💕

Hi anxiousface

Well done, you got up, you went, you shopped and you recognised your anxiety. That's half the battle. Keep recognising it and forgive yourself for it. You need to treat yourself as you would your best friend xxx

Thanks!  Need that virtual hug today.  I feel awful the past couple days.  Got up today, did what I could...now laying back in bed.  Feel so faint and out of it. Period usually comes by now, probably why.  Probably going to skip my AD today, I think it makes me dizzier.  Sweating all night, then freezing. So sick of this.  I’m back to thinking I have an illness, but I know it’s all this peri crap.  I can’t believe I’m such a mess at 41. 😭

I just re-read my post.... Sounded fab, be your own best friend etc. In the spirit of honesty, I haven't mastered that myself lol! I am my own worst enemy and frequently kick myself in the shins

I'm 43 Lou and I know it sucks. Can you get out for some fresh air today? It helps to change my perspective, even if you go back to bed later xx

I’ll try!  Went out early this morning to feed my barn critters.  Then, did some chores, all before 7 am... I was moving around waaaay to early...then my son got up,  Luckily, my bedroom is on the top floor, windows and skylights all open..plenty of sun and fresh air.  Just so freakin sick of this...as we all are! 😊

Hi anxiousface,

You got up and tried, good for you! I read a book by called Hope and Help For your Nerves. It's about how to handle the symtpoms of anxiety. One thing I realized about myself is that i would start to panic and get depressed from all my symptoms. Part of this is really about tackling fear of the unknown. I hate the off balance feeling and when it first started I was traumatized. But what I have realized after 2 years is that....it's not killing me! While unpleasant, and while it stinks like crazy, i can still function to a degree even when it's happening at it's worst. The same for anxiety. It's horrible. But if i choose to get up and do something and work thru it then I'm always better off for it. It takes some determination and a decision to stick to it. Sometimes rest is the only option but i have found that finding projects to focus on, even when really bad, keeps me from getting worse. And it shows me that I CAN still do things when even at my worst. Which keeps me moving. I push myself to go to stores, and events and I always seem to make it through if I stay and face the symtpoms instead of running from them. It was hard at first but now I know by experience that I can still get out and do what I want...it just takes more determination and effort. I know I'm worse in the morning so I plan most of my outings after noon. That helps. Yesterday I went out most of the day. I was standing at a store talking to someone and the floor felt like it was dropping out from underneath me. Bad feeling but I have learned that if I stay and not run, if I don't freak out, if I realize I'm really not going to die and fall over, then I can keep my composure and carry on. Same thing at the salon. Getting my hair done for 3 hours.. not easy to be forced to one spot with these wretched symptoms. But I chose not to freak out even though I felt like I was about to fall sideways. The anxiety kicked in...I closed my eyes and breathed, let the anxiety pass, reminded myself that this is hormones and I will get through it....and I did!!! That gives me courage to keep getting out. I'm a stay home mom and can easily become a hermit if I allow myself. I hope this doesn't sound harsh. Keep trying my dear. We're trudging forward right with you. You are stronger then you think you are! We just gotta tackle and get past the fear of all these symptoms. Big hugs!!! ?

Hi anxiousface, I'm exactly the same way! Do not beat yourself up over it plenty of us ladies have this and its all hormone related , I'm not to sure what causes it I can only assume many things, migraines with the aura, anxiety, many many things can be causing it,and triggering it, but all hormone related as I never was like this before 2 years ago when I was hit hard with Peri, in fact I like many others use to love love love shopping and browsing in stores, and as soon as I walk into one now, I have to quickly get what I need and run not even walk but run walk fast right back out, and sometimes I go to the store with my list and can't even make it through, and just turn around and leave and go back later on and push myself through, its so REDICULOUS I swear just awful, but I'm so use to it now, and even just driving there I get all worked up knowing I'm going to have an awful time trying to gather my things I will need! Some stores are so much worse than others, for instance I don't know where your from but I'm in us and I can't even enter a Wal-Mart anymore , its the lighting in these stores , zaps your brain ... Try wearing polarized sunglasses, or blue blockers, or if you have prescriptions that you wear, get the rose colored blue blocker tint, and wear a hat, it blocks most of the harmful lighting , that for some strange reason our bodies cannot tolerate while going thru perimenopause, go figure!!! Just like we can't tolerate certain foods and many other things while going thru this change... Wear the glasses when you drive from the natural sunlight and while on your phones and computers, its my life saver and really does help especially in those big stores with horrible fluorescent lighting, it doesn't take it away but eases it enough to make it thru your shopping and driving trip, keeps your head from feeling so tight and buzzing and from feeling like your walking sideways lol, crazy mess.... 😊

Also download the blue blocker app for your phone and computer it helps so much from feeling dizzy and off balance , when you download it and it turns on you'll notice the feeling right away in your head and eyes, and you can turn it off and on while looking at your phone screen a couple times and really feel the difference!! Its amazing, same when entering them big stores with the lighting , wear the glasses and pull them down and put back on and feel the difference, it really helps ?

Yes sooo bad Lou! And yes Wal-Mart is by far the worst its instantaneously for me.... Migraines will follow if your not careful and you stay in there too long, try the glasses and baseball hats and the screen filters on your devices , it really makes a world of difference, and put the glasses on your son too, and filters on his devices , and see if you notice a difference, and wear while you drive... I can't leave home without them now.. Something about our bodies not being able to handle many things during this time, and lights just being a trigger period for migraines and seizures, so protect your son too... Let me know how they work out for you guys.😄

Oh and I can't even watch my newer big screen tv I bought for my family room, I haven't figured out how to screen filter that yet, so I haven't watched it at all, 1st time I tried I thought I was going to have a seizure or something, the dizziness nausea off balanced feeling I get when I look at it is terrible, something about all the flickering lights that the eye can't even see causes all this and going thru the hormone change makes it worse.. Try holding your phone camera to your tv next time its on and looking thru your camera if it flickers thru your phone ,lighting is bad and will cause your symptoms...

Omg Gypsy!  Same thing with the TV!  A couple years ago we got a newer TV...It is huge and I cannot stand watching it.  The HD bothers me, like it’s too clear and the movements on the screen made me nauseous.  I told my husband that the tv made me feel weird and he thought I was nutso! This was before all my dizziness.  I watch my little tv in my room.  I do not like these video game systems either...my older son has one, but thankfully the newness has worn off and he doesn’t use it as often.  I really do not think our brain neurons are equipped for all this technology.  Of course, we will not know the real damage for years.  I got laughed at, but I bought cheap clip on sunglasses for my glasses for those dry eye days when I cannot wear my contacts.  Thanks for the device tips!  Nice chatting!  😊

Hello Gypsy, thanks you for your extensive reply with all those tips, I will try the blue blocker for my phone and iPad and hopefully for my computer at work.

yes the big shops are horrible and I try to avoid them, I’m in England so no Wal-Mart but some similar shops, I find the deeper I go in the more trapped

I feel and my head becomes tight then the dizziness starts. 

Oh oh well at least iv saved some money keeping away from the shops 😂

Thank you Lisa for your reply I did read a book a couple of years ago by a lady called weaks I think that was helpful at the time, I’ll have to get it out again. I know what your saying about pushing yourself and I think I do pretty well still working full time and I do push myself but iv not been on holiday abroad for 7yrs and could’nt go in a cinema so there’s lots I can’t do but even through my most worse times I have never stayed in bed I always tell myself I will feel better later.

thats just the feeling like the floor is opening up or you’ve just got off an escalator, this is terrifying for me, The most worse symptom for me.

i promise I will keep trying 🤞

hugs x

Anxiousface,

You describe it EXACTLY as I do. The feeling of stepping off an elevator or escalator. Like the ground is not solid. It' a good up between the off balance and depression for me...not sure which is worse. But when the two happen together then I struggle bad. Is yours like this all month or have you noticed a trend? Mine seems worse most months after my period ends. And for me the feeling gets worse when I bend over and look down or get in small rooms like closets or showers. It' less noticable outside when it' sunny for some strange reason. And yeah, TV's screens, etc...no can do. Mine has been really bad the last few days...but I've had this symptom for 2 years now 👎

I too am struggling with it today and have been all of August. Like you say when the off balance and dizziness comes together it can lead to feeling depressed.

It’s so sad life has dealt us this and it lasts for years.

hope your ok today Lisa x