I'm running out of faith

Posted , 13 users are following.

Just need to talk. I been on a week long binge and am so depressed. I started a new job last September and thought I could get my life back on track but I jacked it in last week after several sickness absences due to drink. I can't deal with my situation. I hate my life and myself. I have few friends and no family that will have anything to do with me due to my drinking. I've become a classic aloholic who sits at home alone drinking feeling sorry for myself. Just don't seem to be able to get out of this funk and get on with my life and at times i have considered ending it. I know I will die anyway if I continue as my health is really suffering. I feel alone and isolated and drink is the only company I have. It could have been so different, I have two sisters, a daughter and an ex partner who did care for me once but I messed it all up. Now drink feels like all I have left. I suppose I'm seeking some hope from people here that it is possible to be happy and healthy after I've caused so much damage. I can't bear the thought of a future like this constantly battling my feelings and alcohol. I'm 40 this year and have nothing to show for myself except destruction and disappointment.

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  • Posted

    tough one Kelly since you have been drinking for many years and have let your family down. Perhaps drink less gradually?? possible?? Robin
  • Posted

    Kelly, I haven't seen anyone mention it yet, so I'll point you to what neatly dealt with my 3 decade-long addiction to drinking every evening:

    https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder

    Especially as you've tried so much else, give this a close look. 

    I had tried a number of times to stop and never made it more than 4 days before I ended up going back into it and drinking more than I did before. In the last couple of years, I was drinking at least a 12 pack every evening and the next day spent most of my time riding out the hangover until 5pm rolled around and I was able to drink again. 

    It took about 5 months of using The Sinclair Method before I started having consecutive dry days. Every new month on TSM saw me drinking less than the month before as the motivation for drinking was slowly erased. Now it takes me over a month to drink half of what I used to swill down every night. I barely think of the stuff anymore, despite it being close at hand in my refrigerator. It just doesn't move me. 

    It really doesn't take a lot of effort, you basically take a pill an hour to 90 minutes before doing what you were going to do anyway. This stops alcohol from reinforcing the urge to drink. The part of the brain that compels you to drink against your conscious will  becomes more and more silent on the subject. 

    I would suggest getting ahold of CThree Europe as they know the ins and outs of getting this medication on NHS and can help with any counseling requirements that might be attached. 

    Kelly, this method has a huge success rate, especially compared to the traditional approach. I've read the stories of many from the UK that have finally gotten the beast of their back with the aid of this method. It's well worth a look.

  • Posted

    Kelly, you are not alone. I see your heading as "I am running out of faith". I'm assuming you must believe in God? Please know that I do not know you but love you knowing that you are a beautiful creation from God. Someone out here loves you and cannot see you as I love God and cannot see him. I am also a alcoholic and am a 42 year old female. My fiancé is a alcoholic as well and has recently started AA meetings. I am looking to attend with him and quit drinking only a week ago. He soon will be going to jail and I know I will alone but I do have 6

    Children. Well 3 are spoiled and selfish the other 3 are spoiled and dependent. Even tho I have 6 kids I know I will be attending the meetings alone. I have been to 1 and that was just to be supportive not intended for myself. People go every time they want to drink and it helps a lot. Don't give up! Be at peace with God and your health it's not to late to try and be healthy. I too am afraid as I have fatty liver for years but finally got diagnosed as I was misdiagnosed with everything else. I have recently been feeling nauseous as if I am going to faint and loss of appetite. I have not given up faith. I recently started going to church a few months ago and was fasting the month of January to draw closer to God. My fiancé and I fasted from 6 am to 6 pm Monday thru Friday and ate only fruits and vegetables and water. My liver stopped hurting. Once the month of January was over and I went back to drinking and eating fatty foods the pain came back immediately. It took a moment to realize it was actually a blessing from God. I would have never of known if I never would have went to church because I would have never fasted! I still have some more tests to do but I am thankful that I finally found out my liver is damaged and I could at least stop drinking. Today in church I cried my heart out but felt joy for being there. I learned that people including myself are living for today and not tomorrow. If you lived your life for the future which is eternal life you will live your life here now the right way. It's not going to be easy and the pastor said only do 2 at a time. I'm going to try and hopefully you do to. Living for life after death instead of life now and then death. 1. It changes our posture to God. 2. Our position toward possessions changes. 3. Our perception of people changes. 4. Our perception on pain changes. 5. Our purpose on earth changes. Kelly, I will pray for you now and know that someone out there loves you. God, Jesus and me :0)

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