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I'm so lost in life and don't know what to do.

Posted , 10 users are following.

iado24829
iado24829

Okay, I don’t know if anyone will read this, but I’ll give it a shot. So, I am an 18 year old guy currently living somewhere in the middle east, I’d rather not say which country. So basically, I’m really lost in life and don’t know what to do. Ever since I was a kid, I’m used to depending on my own. Never really asked for help from anyone, not even parents or friends. But now, I’m extremely depressed. I suffer from anxiety. Constantly overthinking. I certainly do not fit in here. Everyone is so worried about pride and religion here but I don’t really care about any of that.And the people here are just pure garbage. You just can’t walk in the street without getting insulted and having to get in a fight every time for no reason. I hate this place. But yet again, I feel like I don’t fit anywhere, not even the States. I have no idea what to do now. No one thinks the way I think. And every time I state my opinion on something I get mocked. So I just stay quiet. And because of that people think I’m weird. I’ve actually felt like this before (even worse), but I was able to turn it around (on my own) over the summer. But ever since school started, it went all bad again. Music is my only escape, but I feel like the music that meant so much to me once, is just pointless now and does not stir any type of emotion. Yeah, I’m in desperate need of help. 

2 likes, 25 replies

25 Replies

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  • sharon73515
    sharon73515 iado24829

    Posted

    Hi, I'm so glad you found this site and are reaching out for help and advice which I'm sure you will get from here.. all I can offer currently is to say to you to try and stay strong and true to yourself ( I'm currently really suffering from anxiety and depression but I find this site very helpful but I'm not much help to anyone as I too need the help and working through it )

    Good luck :-)

    • iado24829
      iado24829 sharon73515

      Posted

      Thanks a lot. And I'm trying my best to stay strong, but sometimes It's too much you know? Just like last night, when I posted this. I guess everyone here is going through something, and I really hope your anxiety and depression get better soon. I'm here if you wanna talk about it. I can't promise to help, cause I'm just as lost, but I can promise to listen.

    • sharon73515
      sharon73515 iado24829

      Posted

      Thank you and yes it's really hard to stay strong sometimes I know exactly as I've had a really awful weekend with depression and anxiety as I'm sure you can relate to.

      Yep everyone has issues but at least we can all air them on here without feeling judged or alone which helps in itself... thank you, I'm here too to listen.. s

    • iado24829
      iado24829 sharon73515

      Posted

      That's sad to hear. You should also stay strong my friend. It gets better. Thank you

    • amanda35274
      amanda35274 iado24829

      Posted

      I read yr story and came thru 2 suicide attempts , 3 admissions to psychi wards & also a few mths stint in a live in therapeutic community in the last 15 yrs . Ive been great for 5 yrs & a death & other things in the family lots of factors have caused dep and anx again to rear its ugly head. So i know ill get there... sucks right now anxiety is horrendous. Uve been thru lots. U sound like a fellow survivor. What doesnt kill us makes us stronger. Xxx :0)

    • amanda35274
      amanda35274

      Posted

      How are you feeling bow lado x any improvement? Xx
  • roseanne_90819
    roseanne_90819 iado24829

    Posted

    Hi there I'm so sorry you are feeling so lost right now....it sounds like you need someone anyone to talk to, have you a friend or relative you could open up to?you have clearly coped and been very independant for a long time but I think you need people now.I would be inclined to see your doctor for a chat tell him how you feel so he has a clear picture, we often try to cover up our true feelings and put on a brave face eventually it takes its toll and we start to crack, you are not being weak I fact you are being strong recognising you have a problem. Please keep in touch.

    • iado24829
      iado24829 roseanne_90819

      Posted

      First of all, thank you for caring. It really means a lot. And yeah, maybe you're right, I really need someone to talk to. But there isn't anyone to talk to about this stuff where I live. People don't believe in depression and anxiety, and think it's all for attention. I can't go to the doctor cause my parents cant know about this. Yeah I'm a strong person, but I'm only 18, sometimes I need someone to talk to.

    • roseanne_90819
      roseanne_90819 iado24829

      Posted

      I'm sorry there isn't anyone you can talk to about this, I do understand what you say about people think it's"just for attention ",I think you have to go through these things to understand it's not just feeling fed up or attention seeking,IF you went to the doctor your parents wouldn't have to know because you are classed as an adult and anything would be in confidence.These forums are very good and I hope you have more replys,from people.Music is such wonderful therapy, I listen to it as much as I can.All I can say is stay strong and if you need a chat anytime I will listen.

    • iado24829
      iado24829 roseanne_90819

      Posted

      Well yeah that's true but I'm still in high school so I don't have any money. So I really can't afford a doctor. And I'm listening to music 24/7. What kind of music do you listen to. And thank you, like for real, thank you! I would like to get to know you actually. You seem like such a nice person

  • borderriever
    borderriever iado24829

    Posted

    Yes lado I can imagine what the situation is out there at this time. I travelled extensivley in the Middle East when young and fit, we were in Saana Yemen and Ethiopia and some of another party was shot dead, we were repatriated. Even then the place was problematic and we found it very hard to make converstation or friendships.. Syria was just as bad and the only place that seemed natural was Jordan.

    I gather you are an American, if this is the case you need to return home if possible and get treatment. However do you have a Western GP on site that can help you ?. They may be able to give CBT. I cannot imagine you would get a course of treatment of drugs there ?

    How old are you ?.

     

    • iado24829
      iado24829 borderriever

      Posted

      Oh damn that's sad to hear. The Middle East is messed up. Nah, actually, I'm an Arab. But I'm a Christian and there's a lot of racism. And no, I can't get a course of treatment here. But that's the thing. There's no where to go to. I'm stuck with the people here. And everything seems so hopless. I'm 18, a senior in high school. I'm thinking of studying uni in Germany, but I'm really afraid I won't be happier there. Cause you know, then what? I'll never be happy if that's the case. And I really believe it's unfair that someone my age should go through this alone. Thanks for caring btw.

  • h46629
    h46629 iado24829

    Posted

    Hi iado, I posted a discussion a few days ago and in some capacities can totally relate to what you are saying.. I feel as though I am surrounded by people that are just on a different planet to me.. I've learnt I cannot run from that as those people will be on every corner of the world.. What I can do though is learn to enjoy my own company and feel empowered in my own opinions and beliefs. Who cares if people don't agree with what you have to say? I spend a lot of time in the Middle East and it's all fake and pretentious.. People are just living a lie and are so lost in the facade of the money that they've lost themselves in the prostitutes and the partying.. Be proud of yourself that your above all of that and can see right through it.. And actually petty those that are so lost

    Music is a great get away but don't just lock yourself up and listen to music on your own.. Go out.. Explore the world whilst your listening to some good music.. You never know you may just bump into more people like you... and in the meantime you enjoy being you as you sound like a pretty real and cool guy to me!

    • iado24829
      iado24829 h46629

      Posted

      You're right man, that's how I used to live my life, not caring what people thought of me. But something happened two years ago that messed me up big time, and led to this depression. But over the summer, I was able to recover the old me, and stopped caring about people anymore. But then school started, and everything went bad again. But thankfully, I'm slowly becoming who I want to be atm, and hopefully, this time it lasts. Anyway, this is really helpful. So thank you! Like for real, Thanks! 

    • h46629
      h46629 iado24829

      Posted

      My pleasure smile

      And last thing.. My nephew was around 4/5 at the time and went through a stage of saying 'who cares' after every single thing you said to him.. At first I thought how rude.. Then it occurred to me this kids got the right idea about life.. So now every time something bad happens I just giggle and think WHO CARES...

      Try it and best of luck!x

    • iado24829
      iado24829 h46629

      Posted

      HAHAHA. Well, sometimes, kids understand life better than the wisest of us. Thank you and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. 

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