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I'm so scared with my anxiety and depression I just need help 😞

Posted , 10 users are following.

tom03008
tom03008

Hi

I'm 28 and have been suffering with anxiety and depression for about 10 years. The first time it happened it really scared me not knowing what it was and the doctors didn help much either until they noticed it was anxiety and depression. I was put on citalopram and it helped but having to up the dose every couple of years because it kept creeping back.

About a month ago I had a massive breakdown and felt so hopeless. Went back to doctors and they gave me diazepam to calm me down and to switch to a different anti- dep. I'm a week into changing to sertilene and my anxiety has peaked again and I'm struggling. Hardly sleeping and eating. I'm just so scared. Getting side effects with these new tablets and just keep thinking they are not working.....

I can't go out because thinking people will judge me and that I'll have another bad episode and go straight back to square 1...

I just want to feel better and feel like me again. 😔

1 like, 75 replies

75 Replies

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  • edwina97301
    edwina97301 tom03008

    Posted

    Hi . Know it's so draining always feeling anxious, ( feeling anxious our anxiety is kicking in again. Doesn't help if you haven't got great doc. Mines great thank goodness, I like you get anxious even going out and worry about being judged . Had anxiety for many years , know when my anxiety feels bad I have to push myself,(mums great and will pop out with me or just talk if I'm worrying) glad you talked here, helps when yoyou know people replying understand this horrible feeling and that dread of ( is my anxiety going to be worse or not tomorrow. I live with it now, my doc also perscribes diazapam as it helps , I only take small amount if really anxious then push on with trying to think this will calm soon. It's a horrible feeling manageable( unlike some poor people) , I like to talk here etc as I used to hide my anxiety and just lived in my own head, not healthy, my worry would just go round and round. Some great people with great advice here. Wish could help more but hope u feel better knowing others understand what you feel loke??

    • edwina97301
      edwina97301

      Posted

      Meant to say getting right meds can be a nightmare, sometimes take ages to kick in and cos we're anxious we think they don't work , should we stop or try another, need to ask doc again. Everyone suits different ones. We're also scared as some have side effects and we think what's worse anxiety or side effects. I have tried a few but now just stick to diazapam now and then , hope you can ask doc about this??

    • ann55375
      ann55375 edwina97301

      Posted

       Your advice is very sound.  I am on that treadmill of anxiety and depressionand each med has brought worse side effects.  You say you can manage on diazepam, thats what i think im going to have to do. The last med he gave me was antipsychotic (i do not have psychosis) he said it might help. Well, no,actually made me worse. Dont want to go out and feel anxious but down. Cant see a way round this and you ound like youve been there any helpful hints?
    • edwina97301
      edwina97301 ann55375

      Posted

      Thanks for reply. Yeah , I was just making myself more anxoious thinking are new meds making me worse , diazapam calms me a little , enough, my great doctor only prescribed enough so I'm not tempted to take them too much. Learned that won't help if I take them too much, I'll get used to them and they won't work . Like to think I can push through slight anxiety on own.??

    • ann55375
      ann55375 edwina97301

      Posted

      Thanks for your reply. I am slowly coming to the conclusion that a/ds are not for me, all have given me so much in way of problems ive ended up discontinuing. If i go down the diaz route hich m trying out, i take 5 mg bedtime and two or three mg in day.  Still not fixed. Been on this level some time. Cpn tells me it isnt a high level. What do you take?
    • edwina97301
      edwina97301 ann55375

      Posted

      Hi. I only take 5 mg. only if anxious, only take at bedtime if I hadn't slept for days. . I take 5mg for instants if I'd been worrying about going somewhere and I can feel I'm really anxious and shaky. Kicks in within half an hour, lasts few hours so I can push myself. Everyone is different should ask doctors advice. I like them as I don't feel high or dopey they just slightly relax me, don't want to feel like im relying on them but know sometimes can be nessasry alongside self help plan. Anti depressants where awful for me but do help others, as i said everyone's different, let me know how u get on, hope talking is helping??

    • ann55375
      ann55375 edwina97301

      Posted

      Thanks, yes talking here is a help.  Took 3mg and have been to supermarket. Bought some plants for garden too.   Still very anxious inside but pushing on and now will try to settle and read paper.  This is so hard, i had never even heard of anxiety like this until it hit me.  Cpn is my guide and seems to think im doing ok. I just want to know how i got this and when it will go away!
    • edwina97301
      edwina97301 ann55375

      Posted

      Glad you got out and pushed yourself. I too wish I had the answer to why this happens and how I could make it go. Hopefully we can manage it to the point of having more good than bad days . It's really the fact that we know it's there ready to creep up on us that's scary but after all these years it's not as bad as when I kept it to myself and didn't realise I wasn't mad and other people have it. I also know I can talk if it's bad and if it's bad I have to push myself , even though it's a horrible feeling. Hope you keep making progress , it is hard but your not alone??

  • shan24646
    shan24646 tom03008

    Posted

    tom - I am in a very similar situation as yourself. Long time anxiety and depression sufferer and have had issues with different ADs. You are now on Sertraline and its a great AD. I would suggest that just hang on and give it at least 4 weeks to check in. The first few weeks could be a bit tough due to heightend anxiety and mood swings. Suggest just hang on you will see the benefits.
    • ann55375
      ann55375 shan24646

      Posted

      yes, if you find you can stand the side effects carry on, it is a good med. my problem was i couldnt take the effects and find myself still looking so try to hangg on there 
  • tom03008
    tom03008

    Posted

    I just feel so down and anxious. Ive got some diazepam but not taken any as I don't want to get hooked then feel better and then come off them and feel like this again, I just hate feeling like this a just can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Got no appetite and I no I got family and friends round me just feel so low and down. It's only day 4 of sertilene and I just feel like cr@p and helpless 😔

    • edwina97301
      edwina97301 tom03008

      Posted

      Hi. Sorry your feeling so down. I've been there and it seems never ending, just want it to pass and feel bit normal again. Sorry you have no one to talk to , it does help even if you talk here your getting things out. Is it possible to see doctor with concerns about your meds , everyone's different, meds take time to kick in , some people have good results but inthink only your doctor can reassure you. Hope you get more replies it's reasuring and will help you to talk to people who understand how this feels??

    • ann55375
      ann55375 tom03008

      Posted

      So sorry you are at this crossroads.  I know we all have a thing about diazepam but if its really needed short term then please dont be afraid to use it till sert kicks in.  You dont have to suffer.  There are many of us out there who have this condition and it definitely helps being in touch. I am thinking of you and hoping all will resolve. Keep talking.
  • tom03008
    tom03008

    Posted

    Trying to get a doctors appointment round me is awful, hardly get to see someone. I just hope these side effects are just from the tablets and that they will pass soon and I just want to be on the road to recovery.

    If I have a little nap or I'm relaxed I get a wave of anxiety go through me and scares me. My muscles ache, can hardly sleep and I just want to be me again. Just feel bad that I keep crying/saying everything to my mum and friends. They all want me to get better but I'm struggling to see if I can.

    • edwina97301
      edwina97301 tom03008

      Posted

      Few weeks ago l had bad patch, sweating shaking worrying muscles aching , not sleeping then waking up in panic thinking why am I so anxious at moment, I thought I would go mad , it past after few days, but it's so horrible and scary at the time. I hope once you've spoken to a doctor you'll, feel better, and this will pass as it always does but it's crap while we're in the midst of it.know it's hard to get appointments, that makes us more anxious as the waiting is torment . We need help now, really feel for you but hang in there( lovely people replying , all want to support fellow sufferers👍🏻??

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