I'm tired of this

Posted , 6 users are following.

I've been going through anxiety/depression for a while now. Im so fed up with this now im experience derealisation and it's scary and weird. Starting to want to give up. Tired of feeling like im cursed and want ever get better. Im so fed up I just want to cry. I don't even know how to feel normal. I see a physchatrist every week and I've been trying hard and pushing. I don't want to die because my family needs me but it's starting to look like that's the only way out. I use to be so happy and didn't worry or anything now my life feels like it's falling apart. I pray a lot and try my best derealisation/depersonlisation or whatever it is feels like no escape. Every time I'm doing good here comes something else. I'm all lost for words and don't know what to do anymore

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  • Posted

    I know how you feel hunni I've been there you seem to do better for abit and then bam but I promise you it does get better finding the right medication and theraphy I was completely free of this awful illness for a blissful 4 years it's reared it's ugly head again this year but never as bad as my first episode and I've had maybe a few set back after massive life changing events a new baby or death for a few weeks but it doesn't ever get bad as the first time and I promise. This year I've had 3 major life changing events I had a miscarriage almost died and my partner of 9 years left me and my children all within the same month. So no wondered over had a set back but really it gets easier over time with the right support meds and pushing yourself to face what ever is making you anixous it will go if you can't change it and its out of your control let it go. I had this fear being alone with the kids what if I went unconscious throughout the night they'd be alone so I taught my eldest how to use my phone even set her own finger scan onto it and password and if that fails she's to go to a neighbours and not stop till some one answers she's 10. Then I realised that is as much as I can do to control that situation it might happen it might not but if it does I know now my daughter knows what to do. You have to challenge the negative thoughts with positive actions and problem solving. It's hard to see the light when your in that dark place ano and there were times like you I wanted to give up to i felt useless but that's what this illness dose to us you've come this far hunni your doing better then you think be proud of everyday every small achievement because they do matter x
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    • Posted

      It feels like you're dying and that's one thing i don't want to happen, but the way my life has been i just don't know what to do. I feel like a horrible mom and my daughter needs me. I had so many hopes and dreams really starting to feel like it's probably not meant for me
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  • Posted

    Your body does that derealization from your adrenaline rush. Its to protect you actually. Just a physiological response of cause and effect. Do not give up! There are so many choices and options on dealing with panic and anxiety out there. You have not founf the one for you just yet. Theres is the basics of cbt and mindfullness breathing. Theres meds. Theres energy healing. Theres yoga and reiki. Theres reflexology and massage. Theres cardio every day and clean diet (which should be in any of these choices). There are forums and hoping you get an ah ha moment. Theres you tube videos on anxiety, depresiion, breathing, mediations. Ther are audiobooks. Theres different angles like retraining your brain, mind over body, qi-gong. Audiobooks galore are out there. Theres the spiritual angle too. Do not give up keep searching for what works for you.it is out there you just have to find it. 
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  • Posted

    Thanks for all your advice praying things get better
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  • Posted

    Why don't you treat yourself to a facial or massage the day you see your phychatrist make that YOUR DAY or a new hair style the feel good factor will help a lot.
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  • Posted

    You need to start with yourself try my suggestion have a new hair style and have a date night with your husband,even if you have a nice dinner at home with no children around.
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    • Posted

      Never feel bad your not well hunni it's hard tonight I dreaded it I've got my kids in bed and I'm panicking about beening on me own on them again. Your not a failure or broken your just I'll and need help and support to get better. My kids had to stay with there dad all last week as my aniexty was so bad and I was but there assessing me for bipolar I have my app on the 17th. We all need a break it's hard running a home kids even with a partner there. Don't be so hard on yourself as I said everything the little things is an achievement even a simple thing like going the shop bathing the kids it does get easier you've only suffered for 6 months and I know it seems like a life time atm but you will learn to control it and beat it. I'm 7 years of suffering I have good times and then bad times but the bad times get less and less believe me and you will find enjoyment in life again x
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