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I messed up baaaaad

Posted , 5 users are following.

un46143
un46143

About ten years ago I hurt my back. Started going to pain management. After a few years the meds didn't work so I started using heroin. Now after ten years my mother passed away and now I'm living with my father and little brother. Recently I started using my fathers credit card to buy gift cards from stores to trade for a fix. He hasn't found out yet. But will soon because he is I. The middle of looking for a house to buy and he had paid down a couple cards and I ran them up a few hundred dollars. I'm freaking out now and don't know what to do. I want to tell him but I'm afraid of the consequences. And my little brother has a big mouth and will blab to everyone. Any advice. Please be serious

0 likes, 30 replies

30 Replies

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  • gavin36166
    gavin36166 un46143

    Posted

    Hi there,

    ​I am so sorry that you have gone through such a difficult time, and it is so easy to get addicted to pain relief, but your doctor should be helping you get through this, have you tried councilling?

    ​As for telling you father, that will be difficult, but maybe the best thing to do? it could be worse if he finds out first :-(.

    I really hope you find peace.

    Regards

    • jayne10080
      jayne10080 gavin36166

      Posted

      Hi Gavin I have to agree with you regarding addiction to painkillers. More people die from prescribed drugs, even when taken as instructed than by all of the illicit street drugs put together..And yet the pharmaceutical companies continue to make massive amounts of profit from these so say safe drugs...People are under the misconception that if its a prescribed drug therefore it must be safe...How wrong they are...I have had a painkiller addiction for four years....which btw I have just about finished detox..It can happen to anyone white collar blue collar, old , young and so on..No one has the right to stand in judgement of anyone struggling with an addiction. There needs to be more help for those that find themselves in such a situation. Good advice you gave to un46143 well done. jx
  • jayne10080
    jayne10080 un46143

    Posted

    Wow this is going to be a difficult one to advise you on....firstly I believe honesty is the best policy no matter how difficult  this may be.....It may be helpful if you could gather as much information about addiction to help your family understand.  Maybe some information regarding help groups that you can present to your father to show him of your willingness to admit that you have messed up, but that you are prepared to try and make amends for this.  Ask for his help if thats what the plan is, to get clean. I,m afraid this is going to be one of the heart to heart conversations where all your cards are on the table......Be prepared for every possible reaction known to man....If he flares up he is entitled to...Give him space and time to get his head around this information....A lot of this resolving my friend means you doing most of the work......My heart goes out to you...it does,nt matter what you have done, most people can find it in  their heart to forgive..and you deserve your Fathers love even if you fell off the path, hold out your hand and I truly belief it will be grabbed......Sorry that I cannot be of more help. jx
    • un46143
      un46143 jayne10080

      Posted

      Its hard also to keep a job. I have an interview in the morning. Was hoping to start the job. Get a paycheck. Then goto him with a couple hundred bucks and tell him what I did. I would just hate for him to find out before then. My father is not the kind to explode. He holds things in and brushes things off easily. Don't know how he does it. He knows I had a problem with pills but thinks I'm over it. But also has his suspicion I still tame em. Not everyday. Just when I can. I've had.chronic pain for 10years. I know its no excuse but I just don't have the money to even goto a suboxone Dr. I do plan on going to suboxone doctor when I have $400 I can spare. Dealing with all this pain med opiate addiction is the toughest thing I've ever had to deal with.
    • jayne10080
      jayne10080 un46143

      Posted

      Do you think when all is said and done that maybe your Father would pay for your suboxone subutex? If so then ask him for his help, he is still your Father...Yes you will hurt him deeply if you decide to come clean...but you will hurt him even more if you wind up dead in a ditch through drug use...I really believe that things will work out for you all. You have had the strength as a family do deal with grief together. Im not saying its going to be easy because I dont think for one minute It is.  It was difficult for me just to let my family know that I was addicted to prescription painkillers..Hope you find the strength to reach out jx
  • un46143
    un46143

    Posted

    I've messed up a Coue times since I've been here. Taking his pain meds. And took $50 which I admitted to and he really didn't blow up a lot. That's just how he is. But this I think is different because it involved me going into his wallet and taking the card. If I had a Dr things would be different. But I only have street connects
  • jessie51
    jessie51 un46143

    Posted

    Stop worrying about what others will say,  save your concerns for your Dad because you are about to hurt him in a way that no amount of drugs will ever relieve.  He has lost his wife, given you a roof over your head and look at how you are treating him / repaying him -  you are calling your brother, take a long hard look at yourself and the example you are setting for him at such a stressful time in his young life.

    I am being serious,  you have a lot to put right and the sooner you get on with it the better.

    I do wish you well,  hope you can get proper pain relief from a Dr and really do hope you can make things straight and right with your Dad.

    Jessie

    • jayne10080
      jayne10080 jessie51

      Posted

      Jessie I think un46143 is fully aware of the damage that he has caused. Hence "ive messed up baaaaaad" he does not need to be lectured on the pain he has caused as he will see and feel that pain everyday he looks himself in the mirror...If there is anyone out there reading this thread and knows of any outside support groups, by that I mean outside the UK . I do not know what support other Countries offer regarding support. Im sure un46143 would appreciate some direction. jx
    • jessie51
      jessie51 jayne10080

      Posted

      jayne 10080,   that was not a lecture  that was straight talking.    un46143 needs to do some serious thinking about how he is using and blaming others for his mess ups,  he needs to take responsibilty for his life and actions.  Stealing his Fathers drugs and money is wrong.  Taking Heroin is wrong.    He needs to face up to his actions show consideration for others and  then walk tall on a new path.   

      I do wish him well and hope he finds the strength he needs within himself.

      Jessie x

    • jayne10080
      jayne10080 jessie51

      Posted

      Thanks Jessie51 for your reply...but don,t you think he knows, that what he has done is wrong? I see your view on the situation also, and thats why this discussion is good for un46143. He gets to see other peoples perspective on his situation that he is in, which is what he has asked for in his original post. All the best jx
    • un46143
      un46143 jayne10080

      Posted

      Jayne. You have been awesome. And thank you for not lecturing me. Didn't need a lecture. Just some advice which you had done. Quite well I may add. Monday I go for my drug test which unfortunately I have to cheat and use someone else to pass. But whatever it takes to start working and earn a paycheck and build the courage to tell my father what I have done. I will be getting insurance after 6 months so I will be able to see a licensed doctor and not a street pharmacist. The lady whom interviewed me I could tell liked me... She was talking about needing an asst manager so I think I have a shot as long as I perform my job above and beyond. I think I see a lil spark of light at the end of a REALLY LONG TUNNEL. but its the first essence of light I have seen in some time now. Again jayne thank you so much and if you have any other advice. I welcome it with a open mind and open heart. Thank you.
    • jayne10080
      jayne10080 un46143

      Posted

      No need to thank me un46143 I am so thrilled for you that things are beginning to turn around for you..." you know the saying? sometimes when you get that low...the only way is up " I hope you continue to soar up the clouds, you can and will overcome this. 6mnths may seem a million miles away but it,s just around the corner dear friend, then you get the help from the Drs. You are going to be just fine believe in yourself . Not everyday will be a walk in the park and difficulties will arise..just take a deep breath and tell yourself today is crap....but tomorrows another day....No you don,t need lectures, you need support.  I,m here if ever you feel I could be of use to help you get through this....I can assure you if it was not for the support from my family I am quite certain my detox would not have been so easy for me.....Wishing you with all my heart every success jx
  • un46143
    un46143

    Posted

    Well I got the job. Drug test Monday. I hope I can keep the job. Its important to me. And my father. After I get a check and show I'm willing to work and try. I'm gonna tell him
    • jessie51
      jessie51 un46143

      Posted

      Hello un46143

      well done you!   I really hope all goes well on Monday and the job stays yours.

      This could be just the break you need after the tough time you have gone through,  I also hope you can get some decent pain relief,  I know chronic pain can't be ignored and can bring you down low.

      Wishing you all the best

      warm regards

      Jessie x

    • jayne10080
      jayne10080 un46143

      Posted

      Well what can I say? absolutely over the moon for you about your job. Good for you on deciding to tell your Father I wish you well on both fronts..all the very best jx

       

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