I NEED A LITTLE HELP FROM SOME FRIENDS...

Wow! That's beautiful!

I agree with Lisa,  beautful and uplifting. I absolutely agree that being here is a gift. For me, it is a reason for being. In my years as a counselor, I was good, and I was effective. I have no regrets at all as to my way of working...offbeat as it was.

When I got the big hit and ended up in this forum, I had been "retired" for three years and had a huge hole in my life. I was aware of that....no one to help, no one needed me, alone, in a new to me small town, knowing nobody, finding out I have resistant high blood pressure, then Cirrhosis, then more things and more things wrong. The hole got bigger and bigger and I was falling into it.

Then, as I said, I got the big hit, anxiety. You can see why I finally staggered to urgent care thinking it was the last straw, the end.

Thank God for a doctor that got it and prescribed the right thing first time. Getting some calm back, I began a search..how to help myself. Wow, little did I know my life was about to change...for the better!!!

As I got it together and began to contribute, I got a new lease on life. The hole is gone gone, gone.

I have a purpose, a mission, ...and new friends, and laughter. I have always been able to feel people, but had never experienced the emotional availability I now have. It really is a wonderful thing!  It's just that last night was the first time I really let all I have become, (with the help and example of all of you,)  wash over me in such a tidal wave of absolute oneness with it all. it blew me over for a little while. Where else would I come but here. 

Now I know what the mystics mean by being one with everyone and everything. Yes, it is a gift, the giving and receiving...the giving of ourselves and the resulting finding more of ourselves. Wowie...I am a happy puppy!!!! Thank you, Lisa, and thank you all. Whatever else is going on with me is worth this place I am in. I am so very grateful. I just want to pay it forward.

I love your reply Lisa and it is so true I was at my worst when I first came on here and at the moment im about at a l;evel keel so many have helped me on here and I to stay on here because If I can help someone if just a comforting word it uplifts me I have live with depression and gad nearly all of my life some episodes have been better than others so I have always been able to empathise with those in the same boat as others. there are some souls who suffer far worse than me and my heart goes out to them. in a weird way I find it therapeutic being on here and able to help others god bless you my lovely lady

I think it was Charles R Swindoll that said " Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. " This is true for the majority of anxiety sufferers.

But I would like to add to that. It's 10% what happens to you and 90% of the help and understanding you receive when struck with any form of emotional illness...and I say emotional illness because the term mental illness I personally find puts added pressure upon  the unfortunate anxiety/depression sufferer

 It frightens them. It suggest th, that we are weak, have no self control and are helpless in the face of our illness and this is just not true.

 Emotional illness is more likely to strike intelligent/ caring people, (this site validates that )Those who are plagued with migraine for instance are more likely to fall into the bracket of being highly intelligent.

This site, the people on it, are magnificent in the face of adversity. Because, no matter how good and kind our doctors might be, unless they have experienced emotional illness themselves they cannot even begin to understand how truly awful  and terryfying it is.

Here we find understanding, empathy, help when a new and scary symptom pops up. Here, when we are struggling in the dark moments, when we are weary and scared and tearful, others will reach out to us because they know what it's like, and we know they know.

That's the best medecine in the world!

I just wanted to thank each and every one of you who has helped me, has helped others.A price cannot be placed upon unselfishness and the solace you unselfishly give.

You should all hold your heads high with pride!

If there are angels upon this earth then they exist right here on this site.

 

Wow Helen....so very well said. I have to say I agree about emotional illness. I'm not sure that isn't right on the nose. I recently traced back to an event I am sure started the anxiety/depression that got blown into fullpower a couple of months.

I was twelve at the time (no physical abuse) and the event hit me in the emotions....not my mind. Until my recent emotional meltdown, I see now that I have been emotionally unavailable ever since. That's most of my life. That's why I posted here about this...wow,  Unbelievable how much I missed.

No, no regrets, no what ifs, it's all good...now I just have a whole new part of my life available to me, and to others. Thanks for the added insight, sweet girl.

I must add I meant no  offense to those suffering from mental illness. And it appalls me that in this day and age there is still a stigma and fear where it is concerned.

But mental illness and anxiety/depression, in my humble opinion, are seperate issues. A Nervous breakdown is just that, triggered by "nerves" precipitated by the emotions growing unmanageable and as a result the body suffers. Likewise with anxiety and depression are the ensuing manifestation of when things such as hormonal/ emotional/confidence issues come to the fore and the weight of them is unbearable.

One only has to look at how the medical professions deals quite differently with mental illness and anxiety/depression. I think that speaks volumes.

Naturally this is my understanding and belief only. Were anyone to ask me what the nature of my illness was I would reply it was Emotional Illness and not Mental illness, and not because I would be ashamed of being mentally ill, I hasten to add, but that in my concept they are not one and the same thing.

Personally I had a loving safe childhood, summers were spent staying with my Grandparents in Austria where all the relatives would gather to be together. Idyllic. But by the time puberty hit I was chronically shy and sadly lacking in confidence and then the GAD hit me like a brick and has been my lifelong companion.

And I must add that whilst it has been a nightmare and taken much away from me it has also given me attributes I might not otherwise have.

I do not judge others.

I like to think and hope I have empathy.

I am grateful for what I do have.

I am grateful that I can see the beauty of life and nature around me.

I am grateful for my family who love me

I am grateful that God gave me a wicked sense of humour...which we all know on this site we desperately need.

I could go on but sufficient to say it's a question of balance and for each of us on this site, if we weigh up all that we have and do not have, the scales tip in our favour.

Hugs to you all

Once again the choir has to get up and shout 'AMEN'.

I have always been the bright kid...and still am. In the midst of a spike, one of my diversions is to grab my book of New York Times Crossword Puzzles and do a few.....in ink. Right there is a vote for emotional illness rather that mental. Who or what do we think is providing those terrible thought and fears we all deal with. If the mind is yelling this junk at us,,,where are those thoughts generating? We don't think up a thought....something puts it there....wounded, hurt, repressed, tortured emotions seem to fit that bill. It's looking at the tree of anxiety from a whole other side. One just never knows where the day on this forun will take you. Thanks for today's trip, Helen

I will say to add to this the irony and hyoocrisy that goes on amoungst people is off the charts! There are many inspirational speakers out there and chopra centers or  hayhouse, i know if i use names this things goes to moderation but these people are mostly millionares many times over. Many flock to them for guidance and stregnth. Oprah was and is very big in the usa, dyer, hay, these people and their words creep into the cracks of the soul that you cant imagine. Dispenza explains things like no other. So how can these people make their millions and millions and at the same time many stigmatize a person who has an anxiety disorder? Thats the million dollar question. I know one thing people fear it. Losing control of ones emotions, sense of self, or their senosory issues is feared. everyone has a story. Everyone. Some are defined by their story,some learn from it and truth is some are ruined by it.. If we ever somehow placed all this in a book with clairity it would sell like no other. Im not doing it its too much work haha but im saying its the truth. Ptsd, gad, panic attacks whatever it is all end result with anxiety attacks and a faulty fight or flight mechanism. Im positive there is a physical based ailment connected to all this.p or a scientific evident based one.. Something happened to that part of the brain somehow something happened. But science havent narrowed it down just yet. It will one day i hope i am alive to find out and see the fix for it. Although that day has not come as yet we can use our hieracrchy of thought to get thru this. Forgiveness and gratitude alter the soul to a calmness of the body  so they are both huge parts of healing. The reverse take up way too much room in our memories as well leaving little room for positive and healing thoughts. For those that understand that they are at different stages on the anxiety trail to recovery. How to reprogram the sub concious automatic response is my goal. I have studied this so deeply and so much as i want to recover and heal that I feel like i know and understand all of it so well, but but but knowing isnt fixing it.im missing something i dont what.  Thats my dilemma and i do follow up with the actions. I have truly forgiven things in my life and i am grateful as best i can be. My trap that might negate my own recovery might be in physical ailments i seem to have acquired and the inability to raise my self up to an even higher level of awareness to be able to touch these issues or ailments or whatever name they are to squash them or heal them. On a quantum level of healing i believe theres a way to heal anything in us mind or body if we knew how. People do it. Spontaneous healing occurs for various reasons. I dont want to sound too off here i know everyone's at different stages and levels of understanding. And im limited in what i can say due to moderation. 

Ah, another crossword lover! Me too!

I have always wondered,( and I may well be way off with this theory) if those who suffer from emotional illness "care" to much about those around us and the world in general.  Maybe we subconsciously take on all woes, feel  defeated that we cannot "heal" everyone and everything?

That would be a massive burden and responsibility wouldn't it?

I thought this because there are those who sail through life, thinking only of themselves, and never give a thought to others. Whereas we, the ones with Emotional Illness, see things not only with our eyes, but with our mind and  hearts.

 

What I was trying to put across was that whilst we struggle with this awful illness we have to cling to the good things otherwise we will drown in our misery. When all is dark we have to seek out any light to lift the gloom. And until modern medecine gets it's ass into gear and thoroughly investigates what triggers all manner of Anxiety dosorders/depression and it's offshoots, that's alle we have.

I don't disagree with you. Not one word. I too believe there is a "fault" somewhere in the wiring of our brain that, as you say, throws the fight and flight response into overdrive/ chaos. Thus it has nothing to do with mental illness as such.

I always read and re-read your posts because you have much to give, there is food for thought in your comments and through them I see things in a different light

 

I do agree with keeping a positive outlook as well and with awaiting science to catch up with all this, Helen you are smarter then you realize. You seem to be on the verge of a higher level of thinking That is wonderful. I wanted to "add on" to your wonderful thoughts.  I agree with them.

What a lovely, lovely thing so say! I have learned so much from certain members of this site and I am so grateful for that

Hugs

Me too

Yep, repregramming the unconscious is part of the job of the conscious. "As a man thinketh, so goes he."  and "keep your thoughts in captivity." are but a few good spiritual directives.

Two things come up to consider.

Having to be in control

and

Acceptance

The only thing in this world, this life that we can control, ever...is our attitude..We can't control the thing or the person. We can control where we let our attitude go.

I can kneejerk react..refuse to accept the situation, and that I can't control it....like road rage, or I can thoughtfully respond...see and accept the situation, and back off.  Then I have accepted the situation, deliberately choosen to not react, but to respond, and continue on safely.

What if we could be looking at anxiety that way. Instead of as a beast in the closet, accept that we can't control it, accept that we need to let it out of the closet, not to do battle with it but to accept that it is there, is part of us, at least for awhile, and make peace with. NOW we have a shot of really doing something about it...we have accepted it    as part of ME.

In a battle, no one ever really wins. Peace needs to be the goal.

Somehow, some way this has come into our lives, and it is part of us...much easier to deal with. What you are hugging can't hurt you. Think a clinch in boxing.

If i had known all this, or thought this way when i was twelve, I wouldn't be in this space right now.

Quite a while ago, someone decided they wanted to punch me. (like you may be feeling after reading this 'what if" She was bigger than me, furious, and determined to punch my lights out. I have never known why I responded the way I did...even now it sounds nutso. I couldnt't get away, fighting back would only get me more punches, I couldn't even back up...I was against a wall. So, all of a sudden I rushed toward her, got both my arms between her body and her upraised arms and hugged her like my life depended on it. (It may have.) I couldn't let go, I was too terrified, so I clung to her like a leech. She couldn't hit me and she couldn't get loose. Every one around seemed to have stopped breathing...including me. She was in my arms, but the outcome was still in her hands. After what seemed like a lifetime, she threw up her arms and began to laugh. It was over.

In a literal way I embraced my fate, and it backed off.  OMG this is all too metaphysical even for me....anyway, something to think about...or not.

No fair cursing at the poster, (me) the moderator will getcha anyway.

Perhaps we want to look at anxiety that way

 

Lol! You are so droll! God, I love you!!!!

Droll is better than troll I feel the same way about you, Sweertie Pie.