I need help.

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I am a teacher who got caught drinking  last night at prom. I stand to lose everything. I don't know what to do. 

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  • Posted

    Sorry leslie. Hope someone can give you practical or legal help.

    I guess it depends who caught you and if they will report it. Get advice as soon as possible.

    Hope it works out ok for you.

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  • Posted

    Oh heck, Leslie,  I don't know what the legal process might be.  You have to contact your Union Rep.   If you are not in a Union... I don't know.

    There are very strict legal issues to address.

    Retrospect is a tough teacher.

    I know that you will wish that you had not "gone there".

    Alonangel 🎇

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  • Posted

    What happened exactly ?? 
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    • Posted

      I had one cocktail from the bar. My principal freaked, thought I was drunk and insisted on driving me home. I have contacted my union rep. I know I have royally screwed up my life for one drink. I need help to stop drinking and don't know where to start. I'm alone and ashamed 
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    • Posted

      I'm a little confused. Your first sentence says you had one drink, but at the end, you seem to suggest a drink problem.

      For anyone to give you useful advice, you need to be honest with us.

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    • Posted

      Leslie -

      Perhaps start by reading Joanna's article here on Patient:

      https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder

      There certainly are other ways to approach the problem, but The Sinclair Method has an excellent success rate. It sounds like you may have a bit of fallout to deal with, so give the above article a look and see if you think it might be workable in your situation. If you have questions and would prefer to PM me, feel free.

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    • Posted

      I do have. Drinking problem.  Otherwise I wouldn't have been dumb enough to order a drink at a school function. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear.  I had spent the entire day helping my elderly dad and was craving a drink so bad I couldn't stand it.
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    • Posted

      It's peculiar to the person, some think they've taken a sugar pill, others have varying side effects that generally last for a few days on up to a couple of weeks. Do you drink every day? 
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    • Posted

      Just to give you an example, I"m a daily drinker (30+ year habit) and prior TSM I was drinking about 84 standard US units per week. Over a 3 month period, I've dropped down to 17 units (as of the end of last week). In a month, I expect I'll be at "low risk" drinking levels. The eventual target is complete erasure of cravings, at which point I'll be able to choose to drink or not drink, just as anybody without Alcohol Use Disorder would be able to do. So far, it has taken little or no willpower to get to this point, I just stopped wanting to drink as much.  
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    • Posted

      You are being honest Leslie and lots of good replies already since I am joining this chat late....legal advice is good but I am wondering why a harsh reaction after ONE drink. Tricky one but honesty is best and deep regret perhaps...will never do that again?? You do need help for certain and medical advice and then medication is perhaps the best.  Best of luck...Robin
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    • Posted

      Thanks Robin. I am on paid leave today and trying to decide where to go from here. The strand has helped especially since I'm too upset to tel my friends. 
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    • Posted

      I'm so sorry to hear that you feel so alone and ashamed Leslie ! This site is a great support network for you and you will never be judged here. Is there maybe just one person you are close to that you could confide in ? It can be so helpful . I agree with the others that you must be completely honest . This way , you are dealing with this rather than covering it up !! Who knows what will happen next time . If you keep brushing it all under the carpet then eventually you will trip up ! 

      How do feel today ? Are you considering talking to your work and saying it as it is ? I feel that would be a good idea. You will be respected for your honesty Leslie, I'm sure and you know ! , we all have our issues to deal with in different ways . We are all human and are battling with life at times , even teachers !

      Take care and let us know the latest

      Rainbow xx

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    • Posted

      Wait! Drinking is legal.  You had 1 drink...your over 18.  I understand that you are teacher thou.  So I guess that makes it illegal in the place that you work for.

      ​The union rep...um...yea..usually in the US if we are seeking professional "help" for our problems - like go to a therapist or volunteer "legally" we can NOT be fired...union or not.  I was not in the union and got totally blasted at work one day..and they had functions that had "bars".  SO...why was a "bar" at the prom for the younger ones to drink?

      ​That is what I don't understand...why was a bar there to begin with? So the principal didn't drive every youngster home....why you? 

      ​Its Monday so you are either in school working or home on "punishment"?

      ​Were you told specifically that you couldn't have a drink there? I know that you are expected to lead by example...but THEY had the frigin bar there!

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    • Posted

      Prom was at a country club and prom was in another room. Another adult reported seeing me in the bar buying a drink. I think it is a part of the teacher morality clause and I can be let go. I'm on paid leave today and have a mtg w the bosses at 1:00. Not sure if I should ask about treatment
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    • Posted

      I'd be careful about giving too much away. Really, since it was in another room and the "school related function" was not happening in the bar, would it have been so much different if you'd had a glass of wine before you went to the prom? Perhaps mention that you can see their concern and promise not to do it in the future, etc? 
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    • Posted

      I agree ADE ! After saying what I did , perhaps not make too much of the situation but knowing behind the scenes Lesley is dealing with it though . Over dramatising it could make things worse ! 
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    • Posted

      Thank you. I am hanging in there. Paid leave. Mtg at 1. I just don't know what to say to them. My union rep will meet w them first but has to leave before I can be there. I'm still pretty shook up. I need to find a dr. And make an apptmnt but don't know where th start.
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    • Posted

      Perhaps start with your GP and ask for a referral to a Psychiatrist that specializes in addictions. Where there's an addiction, there's often an underlying mental illness that needs to be taken into account, so you might be able to kill two birds with one stone. You just don't want to end up with one that tells you to "just stop drinking" and leaves it at that, as I don't think you're wired to be able to handle it via "white-knuckle" abstinence. 

      CThreeFoundation (dot) org has a "Find a Physician" listing doctors that are versed in The Sinclair Method, if that interests you. Otherwise go through your GP as I mentioned, or if your insurance allows you to go directly to an addiction doctor, you can probably find some in your area with a quick web search.

      Any chance of getting ahold of your union rep via cell phone in between his meeting and yours? 

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    • Posted

      Just take it day by day Leslie ! The most important thing here is that you get help , stay well and keep real ! I say real as I said before about being human and dont beat yourself up ! Your career is of course very important but try and relax knowing that we all face challenges in life . I think the most important thing here is that youve acknowleged that you are worried about your drinking and that is something that can be helped . If I were you I would try to separate the worries you have ! with your career ! I would play it down for your career as long as you feel it is not affecting the care you provide to your students ! In your private time , then deal with your worries . Hope that helps xx
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    • Posted

      Try to stay cool here and keep in mind that the school may well be looking for the best solution for them, not you.
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    • Posted

      I'm sorry this happened to you. You said you were STUPID and went and had a drink.  Not STUPID...its just the alcohol is THAT powerful.

      I do think you got the best deal as you say...let go with pay and by not contesting it...it won't be publicized...and you won't have a big sticker on your name saying SHES AN ALCOHOLIC...don't hire her.

      ​I don't know how long your pay will continue for.  But, what I did learn for myself...was being out of work....is a BIG BLOW..and increased my drinking 10 fold...especially WITH PAY...no worries...I thought I had TIME...time to get as messed up as I wanted...because no one understood what I was going thru.  And boy did I....

      ​Knowing what I know about alcohol...I am scared for you.  I hope you do try the Sinclair method as it may lower your consumption...and I'm glad you were ablet to find this board to vent on because your right...there are some things...other people (family and friends)..just won't understand.

      ​What will you tell these people about not working? You don't have to answer that..but that would be one of my main questions for myself.  To me it would be worse telling them it was due to alcohol than having the union and the small group of people that already know...know.

      ​Being me...I would make up some lie...that there was a lay off...I got pay...etc. 

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    • Posted

      I feel like I am living the biggest lie of my life. There are only four weeks left of term so mainly it is my school friends that know. I live on a small organic farm where my husband and I raise registered grass fed cattle, so I can kind of hide out. You're right though, I am worried if I do take even one drink that will be it. My husband gets back from working out of state after my term would have ended and I plan to tell him then. I don't want to tell him now bc there is nothing he can do and he would just worry. I feel like I'm on a tight rope. I am going to the city later today to start sending job apps and meet with my retirement people to see if maybe I can buy out my next two years and just be done.  I feel like maybe I shouldn't be in the classroom anyway

       

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    • Posted

      Yikes...don't say you feel like you shouldn't be in the classroom....REMIND yourself..you were very GOOD at what you did...a stupid drink....can not steal WHO you are and what you have accomplished.

      Leslie...did you make a therapy appointment too? sad

      ​It took me a full year to get over the.....ready for work thing....its painful to go from having a full day to having NOTHING to do...and that is where the drink came in for me....earlier and earlier in the days.

      ​I like when you say you are trying to stay busy...that is good.

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