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i need help dealing with this

Posted , 5 users are following.

stephanie1217
stephanie1217

i recieved my call back from the doctors and they stated that my hsv1 and 2 test results came back positive..im depressed inside i feel lost idk what to think my husband is supporting me but we dont know where i got this from, he is gonna wait till next week to make a doc app. to get checked...what if im the one who gave it to him...im cluless rn idk how to live with this..i dont feel like the same person i dont feel sexy no more i want to make love to my husband and now idk how to go about that?? i want to scream to the top of my lungs and cry but i need to contain myself rn..im sooo scared ive never had a breakout just one little blister (thought it was a cut) went to check it out now im herpes positive...im schocked i been tested twice this year and everything came out negative why now? i been with my husband two years he dont have no symptoms at all not even me but im oral and genatal positive sadcryh

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  • amy07772
    amy07772 stephanie1217

    Posted

    I understand how your feel. I was diagnosed with HSV-1 genitals about two months ago. I met this guy who is perfect for me by he doesn't have anything and he doesn't want anything. We are trying to figure out a safe way to be together. Just simple things people take for granted such as kissing or cuddling in bed now pose a risk to him and everyone. They say the type I have isn't as bad and harder to infect in a man and pass on but to someone that doesn't have it it is really hard for them to want to take that chance. I still even today feel like I'm worthless and less of a person. I don't feel as though I deserve anyone. Just from one night a few minutes ruins your whole life and you can never take it back or change it. I have never wanted someone as much as I want this guy and in the end we are both going to get hurt because we care for each other so much but we can't carry a healthy relationship like others. It kills me inside. The only option is to find someone that has it but at the same time the person that I want doesn't have it and can't think of being with anyone else. I guess with time the feelings will go away and you start to feel better about yourself. You learn how to deal with it. A lot of the things you find on the internet aren't for my specific type of heroes so you can't get a definite answer on how safe it is for me to be with someone. The hatred that you feel for yourself right now will eat you up inside. You just have to try and find a way to not let it consume your life. It's easier said than done because I have yet to figure out how to do it. I still hate myself and just want to die everyday. I feel dead inside anyway. I know this probably really doesn't help you in the way you want but it's more meant to help you understand that you are not alone with your feelings and this is a big obstacle in your life you can't overcome but have to learn how to deal with it. You will have good days and bad. Just getting through those bad days are the hardest and sometimes feel like they aren't worth it. I just hope they can find a cure so I can go back to the way my life was two months ago.
  • caroline36678
    caroline36678 stephanie1217

    Posted

    I totally get how you feel dear! I was diagnosed 2 months ago with hsv1 on my genitals, coming from my husband's cold sore...even if it wasn't there at the time we had sex. In my case, it is easy to know there it is coming from because we have been together for years and he is my only sexual partner!

    At least, your husband is supporting you!

    There are plenty of people on forums like this who said they have a relationship with partner who are not HSV positives...and even have unprotected sex and don't pass it to each other!

    I know it's Gard though. I haven't had sex with my husband since the diagnosis. I cry a lot...and i'm stupid because i do that at night alone. I'm a mother of 2, i don't want my kids to see me cry so i put a mask on and play happy with them during the day but i feel so sad inside. My husband is wonderful and he is so supportive but even with his support, i feel worthless. I feel distgusting. Hubby tells me everyday that i'm not and it doesn't change anything for him but i can't see how it is not gonna change things.he wants me to talk to him and like an idiot, i don't and i cry when he is asleep!

    I have the biggest fear to pass it to my baby...he is 3 and a half months and i'm scared of not washing my hands properly and give it to him somehow... My oldest already has oral herpes ( gift from a kid who licked him at kindergarten this Summer ) but i live in fear all the time... I'm afraid i passed it to my ginger cause i have a very strange lesion since yesterday. Might not be it but if it is... I don't even want to think about it!!!

    We all got to figure a way to live with this cause it is eating us alive... I don't know how but we do!

    At least, it's making me feel a little better to know i am not alone to feel like this!

    I hope for a cure too...so everything could go back to normal...i used to not believe in god and now i am so desperate that i pray everynight for a cure...

    • stephanie1217
      stephanie1217 caroline36678

      Posted

      caroline36678 this is very emotional for me i have to hold it in as well so when u go to sleep at night thinking and crying just know im there too feeling the way you do..i know sounds weird but i dont want to feel alone myself either...idk how i contrated this virus all i know is my husband had a cold sore last year but its been a year and nothing..so i never thought anything about it till now...his sister has had about two cases of cold "sores" aorund her lips and to be very honest here me and my husband shared drinks and food with her as well as sharing cigarretes..idk if that can be transmitted as well but my question is how can it be transmitted to genital like that i understand maybe oral but genitals is just weird...i pray for a cure too god is with us and we will survive this dilemma
    • caroline36678
      caroline36678 stephanie1217

      Posted

      Well, there you go, you know where this is coming from!

      Hsv1 are 50% of the new cases of genital herpes each year now! The thing is, you are shedding the virus even though you don't have an outbreak couple days a months but there is no way to know when... You probably had a tiny lesion down there where the virus entered...

      For me, my husband gave me oral sex for thefirst time after giving birth...i had an appointement with the doctor that day and she said my stiches were healed but i guessed they were not and hubby was shedding the virus... 4 days after i had my horrible first outbreak.

      I have been reading a lot about this and it says pretty much everywhere that our parents were so careful with our generation with cold sores that we didn't have the proper antibodies for that now and our system is not strong enough to fight it....

      I don't know what to tell you to cheer you up because i can't do it for myself. I just refuse to believe there will be no cure for it one day.

      They already have a vaccine for chicken pox and zooster (same family of virus) and they have successfull results in curing hiv-aids in labs so why not herpes?

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus caroline36678

      Posted

      If you had contacted oral herpes as a child, you would likely be protected from Type 1 genitally, but not 100%, and you may have occasional outbreaks around your mouth, even as an adult.

      There is no fullproof cure for HIV yet, but they can suppress it if treated early enough, like they can with HSV, although with HSV it doesn't matter when you start treatment.

    • caroline36678
      caroline36678 FelizCastus

      Posted

      That why i said in lab!!! Not with humains!! ;-)

      My uncle is one of the searcher who is working on a vaccine for HIV and they are successfull with rats only so far! But it gives me hope!!

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus caroline36678

      Posted

      Haha, I noticed your qualification, but was just saying. wink They actually did find a way to possibly reduce/prevent Type 1 genital infection in women, but it was intended for Type 2 and failed in that regard. HSV is just too tricky to beat, but it is frustrating, especially when they can prevent VZV like you said.

      Fyi, there are a few therapeutic vaccines currently being developed to treat those with existing Type 2, which should also help with Type 1, but it will be years before they're available (still in the trial phase). Still better late than nothing at all, so I'm hopeful, too!

  • stephanie1217
    stephanie1217

    Posted

    i got questions?? how do i know im finna get a breakout ?? as well what is vhs1 and 2..is it worse to have both ive never broken out in my mouth before idk what to expect??
    • caroline36678
      caroline36678 stephanie1217

      Posted

      HSV 1 is the one for cold sores but it can be transmitted down there. It is suppose to be milder with less recurences...this is what i have too.

      HSV 2 is the one responsible for genital herpes. When you have that type, you are most likely to have more breakouts.

      Some people say they feel an itch or tiggling somewhere...i'm at the end of my third breakout in 2 months and i still don't know the signs..

    • stephanie1217
      stephanie1217 caroline36678

      Posted

      third breakout ouucch!! why that many i though it was like 4 break outs in a year or so...have you asked your doctor the reason maybe something is triggering it to break out that much
  • caroline36678
    caroline36678 stephanie1217

    Posted

    Yes ouch...they are really painfull. The trigger seems to be my period and to be tired...it is not gonna improve!i have a 4 years old and a 3 months at home, of course i'm tired and not sleeping!!

    I have no help since we are abroad for work...

    I'm going to see the doctor again next week so she can put on suppressive therapy because i can't afford to be sick all the time like this!

  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus stephanie1217

    Posted

    So sorry to hear about your shock double diagnosis! When you said you tested negative before, was HSV included, because it isn't normally unless you specifically request it. Also, how were you confirmed positive?

    If you tested negative specifically for both HSV types in the last year, and you have been with your husband for two years, then the only source of both infections is your husband. He should also test, although no need to test for Type 1 since you already know he gets cold sores.

  • j08653
    j08653 stephanie1217

    Posted

    I'm in the same boat..except I'm a guy recently diagnosed with type 1. I'm about 99% sure that my ex gave it to me but she is extremely stubborn and won't get her past results to check. She said she's never had a sore on her mouth. Until a few days ago, I wasn't sure where the outbreak was gonna occur. I have seen these two little dots on my lip but they've been there for over a month now (no idea). But the lymph nodes in my groin are going crazy and the head of my penis has slight discomfort. So I'm pretty pissed off, but what can you do?! Obviously I didn't have this before, so her denial to actually check previous tests kinda sucks. 
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus j08653

      Posted

      That sucks she won't check, but if she's never had cold sores, I don't suppose she ever tested for it. Most people don't for oral herpes. Btw, the two dots on your lip are not likely HSV, as they wouldn't remain unchanged for over a month.
    • j08653
      j08653 FelizCastus

      Posted

      But she could still oral herpes, correct? Or would it be more likely that she had hsv 1 genital?
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus j08653

      Posted

      She could. Either. But usually HSV-1 is acquired via oral contact.
    • j08653
      j08653 FelizCastus

      Posted

      Crud...So if my lymph nodes in my groin are swollen is that indicative of hsv 1 genital? Sorry for all the back to back questions
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus j08653

      Posted

      Potentially, but as per your own discussion thread, you already tested pos by IgG, so you already had it for at least a month or longer at the time, which means you ought to have had your first outbreak before, not now, and you don't tend to miss a primary HSV infection (although anything's possible). Swollen lymph nodes are less common with recurrences, so perhaps it's not related. Hard to confirm location without something to swab, esp in the case of Type 1. Could well be oral.
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