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I need help with my anxiety as im only just realising how ill inside I actually am.

Posted , 7 users are following.

Kcbx
Kcbx

Hi I just want to share my story as I can not cope any longer.

My anxiety started about 10 months ago. It was more of a social anxiety.. I've always been a very confidant loud outgoing happy person and out of no where everything has changed. I got a new job which I felt abit isolated as everyone I worked with was alot older than me. I started to keep my self to my self and became alot quieter. I also fount out at this point I was pregnant (couldn't be happier) my family life is perfect I have an amazing partner and 6 year old son and great family that are always there to help. But for some reason I completely changed as a person I've became so isolated in myself I didn't go out for months I was scared of bumping into people (people I new) I didn't want to talk to anyone or do anything.. I always hid this very well and pretended I was fine to every one else even though I'd force myself out and do things which killed me inside. I looked happy but inside I felt awful I wud feel sick and be shaking and my legs wud feel like absolute jelly. I've had this feel constant for months now and it never goes away it just gets worse when I go out. My 2nd son is born now and he's 3 months old and now my anxiety has gotten worse but in a different way.. I'm not too bad with going out (maybe because I feel better that I have him with me I don't no) but now I fear that somthing bad is going to happen all the time. I am even worse as now the left few weeks I have felt sick to my stomach, I've not been able to eat at all somtimes and I'm not sleeping at night. I'm so tired and so drained and I'm sick of constantly feeling so ill and shakey inside my legs feel the worse as they r so jellyish.. I keep thinking my son's r going to die and it's so disturbing but I can't handle it anymore I'm sick of crying. I have a great partner and family but I hide this so well nobody knows and everyday is such a struggle just pretending I feel fine and faking every thing. My family home is perfect and I get help I never get stressed with my children I just carnt deal with myself and how I feel anymore.. I hope sombody can help me now I've finally opened up about it

2 likes, 19 replies

19 Replies

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  • robin67880
    robin67880 Kcbx

    Posted

    Kcbx, 

    Firstly I think you need someone you can confide in! Your spouse or close friend, someone who will understand you and offer you support. Also, you need to speak to your doctor about this as you may have a combination of Anxiety and post partum since your child was born and your symptoms have seemed to change. This board I am finding is great support but you also need personal support. Curious, are you nursing your baby or bottle feeds? Reason I ask is your doctor may want to put you on something to help balance you out and maybe they could not with nursing. Best of luck to you and whenever you need a vent, we are all here and in the same boat or a similar boat for sure!  Take care! 

    • Kcbx
      Kcbx robin67880

      Posted

      I feel too embaressed to tell anyone close to me. I no they will ask me questions about it that I cannot answer as I don't no why I'm like this myself. I have been to the doctors and have been given tablets (only been on them a week) didn't really have a talk proply with the docotr but I have another appointment with a better doctor next week. I am bottle feeding I don't feel that it's postnatal depression as I have a great bond with my son he has made me feel a lot better with social anxiety but now I have worser anxiety but a different kind. Thank you for ur message any advice will help me at this moment in time as ive never spoke about this before
    • robin67880
      robin67880 Kcbx

      Posted

      I was a crying basket case when mine started up..I talked to my husband who said.. "I don't know what you want me to do".. I didn't want him to do anything..listen.. I told him that.. and he did. He listened to my fears and just let me vent. None of us "know why" we have anxiety.. jsut that we do and we are scared and are looking for help.. Do you have anyone that can do that for you? Maybe a new doctor will help you out, we should always feel like we can talk to our doctor. Mine was not helpful so I did seek councelling for a couple sessions and it did great things for me. (my husband lives away from home so councellor was the best idea for me) I have been on Citalopram for 7 weeks and feel like I am finding me again. I hope you find you again too!  XX
  • rawb
    rawb Kcbx

    Posted

    Have you spoken to your GP? I've been in this boat oh so recently. I'm terrified to do almost everything as I constantly think I'm going to die. But these feelings are dead are usually sparked by a physical feeling. (Pain in chest stomach poor digestion pain in back) but since I've accepted all these feelings are just come on by thoughts I've felt so much better. You just need to recognise all these feelings are normal for someone with anxiety. Try these things...

    Give up stimulants (alcohol caffeine smoking drugs)

    Sort your diet out, eat healthy lots of leafy greens, nice tea's cut out the sugar.

    Get some kalms to help your sleep or another natural remedy, (I use kalms)

    Learn to breath correctly. Anxiety is 100% controlled and sustained by your poor breathing habits. Breath full and through your nose and out through your mouth.

    Find things that relax you (I don't know you, so maybe knitting or swimming)

    Increase your exercise. It will produce serotonin and lower your cortisol levels. (Serotonin good! Cortisol bad¡)

    If you're really struggling then get in contact with a company / charity called MIND or IAPT. Your GP can give you more info about IAPT, but I personally preferred MIND. Hope this helps.

    • Kcbx
      Kcbx rawb

      Posted

      Thankyou ill defiantly be trying all these things! Yes I have pain in chest and my breathing constantly feels very hard when breathing in (if that makes sence) and my body constantly tingles/shakes inside worse on my legs which is awful as this is 24/7 just becomes worse when I start thinking. I'm quiet a strong person to try and get my mind off things and to push myself to go out and do things but even though ill do it it doesn't help i just get worser feelings.. like sick in my stomach, inside in want to cry and I'm shaking like mad inside or dizzyness. I feel so silly to say this but I get scared of watching the news and they keep saying all over Facebook that once all these refugees r here they will bomb us (i don't no if this sounds stupid) but it's defiantly made me worse and I believe this too so now I keep thinking where going to die soon people r constantly saying it and it makes my anxiety hit the room I have a mad rush panic feeling and it's awful. I think I'm more scared for my children than anything else
    • lexieshaw
      lexieshaw Kcbx

      Posted

      Hi! I can't believe how similar you are to me, I also have a baby boy and he's 3 months old, and i have always suffered panic attacks but now it's so much different and worse, I to have a great bond with my son so didn't think it was post natal depression, I have chest pain, light headed, numb arms and weak legs, tingling in my hands and feet, on my really bad days I get excruciating stomach pain and my ibs flares up really bad. I also dernt watch the news or horror films or documentaries incase I see something that scares me. It's awful having to live like this and I get scared all the time incase I never get better, I always think something bad is going to happen I'm always on edge I can never relax, I'm so scaredsad I wish I could be happy again for my little boys. I'm 22, my first son is 4, and my little 3 month old. I know it's all anxiety but the chest pain is all new to me and for the last 4 days I have just thought I'm going to have a heart attack. My heart is going awol with palpitations, beating out my chest, pain in my arms etc but if something was gonna happen it would have by now wouldn't it. Hope we pull through it,
    • Kcbx
      Kcbx lexieshaw

      Posted

      Aw really I'm 23 and I have a 6 year old and 11 week old. It's strange because I've never suffered before or had any kind of social problems or nerves and now I'm a mess. I'm exactly the same as u anything bad/negative scares me and I struggle with breathing but after I've been on here and other pepoles comments have really helped me. I've got an app called 'calm' and just started taking kalms tablets at night .. i cnt really say how good they r yet as it's only been 3 days and I've also been taking my medication about 2 weeks now I'm just hoping I can make myself better soon and it will go away (wishful thinking) because I don't think it will ever fully go away now. Maybe we've got to learn to control it? Some of ur symptoms sound worse than mine too but I have constant tingles 24 7 too and jelly legs it never ever goes away it's horrible int it
    • lexieshaw
      lexieshaw Kcbx

      Posted

      It's not nice at all, my panic went away for a little while but was replaced with stress. I don't think mine will ever go away. Mine is so bad (embarrassing to admit) that I even watch out for my dog acting strange around me because I got told once dog can smell cancer and they can suspect a heart attack! That's how silly mine has become. And the worst thing is if he acts funny or looks at me weird, I'll panic. I always wonder how people who dont have anxiety cope in situations? And why can they cope but we can't? sad
    • Kcbx
      Kcbx lexieshaw

      Posted

      We always feel embaressed to say how we r really feeling but clearly they are not as embaressing as we think because so many other people feel the same way. I thort i was strange and the only one tht was scared to watch the news but now that seems quiet common. Have u been referred to counciling or anything as im going to give it a try hopfully will help even if it's just abit
  • louise37661
    louise37661 Kcbx

    Posted

    Hello I have just read your post and it was like I wrote it years ago . I have always suffered massive anxiety and depression on and off since I was 14 but somehow managed without medication until I had my first son 2 days after I had him I was consumed with absolute fear that something terrible would happen to him it was completely out of control I had him sleeping in his Moses basket next to my bed with my hand resting on his chest to make sure he was breathing I stopped sleeping if I watched tv news or read the paper and something bad was in there I'd cry my eyes out for ages I felt constantly sick dread scared I couldn't sit still but felt completely exhausted it wasn't till I took my son for a check up that I had to fill out some forms on how I felt I was feeling a zombie at this stage and it all came out I'd struggled for months just feeling terrified of what I do not know I was given medication it took a good 7 weeks but gradually I started to relax and almost feel normal and finally sleep .when you see this other doctor just be honest you are not alone and do try to tell your partner or a family member you trust it can help just talking sometimes if you ever need to talk I will be here 🌷
    • Kcbx
      Kcbx louise37661

      Posted

      I'm so glad u commented on this as I felt I was the only one who felt this way! I am exactly the same and get so scared seeing the news or a news paper.. anything bad or negative. I'm not sleeping well at all and I'm so drained inside but I carnt sit still either I keep popping into my mums but wen it gets later on my anxiety starts to worsen as I no I have to settle down and get into bed and even worser thoughts appear it just feels at the miniute like I have no escape I really wish it would just go away except it gets worse
  • wayne76842
    wayne76842 Kcbx

    Posted

    hello

    ​it's hard to say dont worry because you will, we all do, your going throu a tough time and your not alone , we all do, yes it's worse than any condition you can think of, but dont, think positive, get mental health team help, get your family to read some of the stories on here, talk and talk to them again,with the right help you will get out of this way you are feeling, i and mnay others have been exactly the same with the same symptoms, only you can do this with a little help from others

    take care

  • holly21435
    holly21435 Kcbx

    Posted

    I am new to this only just signed up but it feel exactly the same. I feel like my kids could do so much better if than me n just sit in a daze. I feel like a zombie taking my son to school n sit panicking all day what would happen if I fainted or got ill and my 1 year old was alOne. Yesterday I ended up in A&e I  had a bad reaction to some tablets and I was home alone with him and since then I haven't slept not eaten constantly feel ill and worried sad hate my life so much ch right now. Don't want this to affect my kids child hood but can't help feeling like am letting them down 
    • Kcbx
      Kcbx holly21435

      Posted

      I am new to this aswel and I no exactly how u feel! It's awful! I was alot worse wen I wud be alone with my child too and be scared if somthing was to happen to me and he would be alone. Have u got a partner or anything because I was alot better when I had my boyfriend with me? Even now I still get sick to my stomach and think to myself why have I bought children into this horrible world we live in.. when I see or read negative things my anxiety gets worse knowing my children r being bought into this. I've started taking kalms at night and they've helped slightly.. don't feel like ur letting ur child down though I'm sure ur doing a great job with him/her it's just a shame we don't feel great in our self's. I've only just started trying to get help and it's made me feel a little better trying to get some where and hopfully u do too
    • holly21435
      holly21435 Kcbx

      Posted

      I am better with my husband around but at 29 when I feel really bad I ring my mum even if we don't talk I just put the phone next to me. I have two boys 1 and 4 my 4 year old always comes up and says are you poorly today still mummy and it breaks my heart. I have spent a lot of time in hospital the last few months been ill so this hasn't helped sad. It's my second night on the citralopram fingers crossed. I may look into kaons I didn't sleep at all last night just laid there waiting to feel ill. It's nice to be able to talk to someone going through it my hubby doesn't really get it as much as he try's.
    • Kcbx
      Kcbx holly21435

      Posted

      Aw bless him he's still young enough for u to tell him it's a tummy bug or somthing I reallt hide mine which is somtimes difficult, my partner doesn't no he doesn't even notice and somtimes ill be miserable and in a right daze. I was so scared all week and cudnt sleep i had to keep waking him up to rap his arms round me just for abit of comfort as my stomach felt so sick. At least ur husband can try and help even though they have no idea how we're feeling. Talking about it is actually helping me too and I feel so much better knowing I'm not the only one that feels like this even though I don't wish it on anybody
    • holly21435
      holly21435 Kcbx

      Posted

      My hubby try's his best I sometimes feel stupid telling him things. When I say  what I am thinking out loud I sound crazy lol. Your so brave keeping it all in I am a complete wreck! Not around my boys but talking is definitely helping me. And trying to keep busy! 
    • Kcbx
      Kcbx holly21435

      Posted

      Yeah keeping busy really does help. I no what u mean by sounding crazy lol that's why I won't tell him or anyone because i no I will sound like a mad woman some of my thorts and fears are definitely crazy but hopfully we will get there and start to feel better soon enough
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