I need some advice - PLEASE

Posted , 15 users are following.

I drink way too much, most days a pint of Crown a day.  On a blood test my liver enzymes were up and that scared me alot.  My dad was an acholic and is deceased.  He was never a father and I never wanted anything to do with drinking.  I just kind of started and didn't stop.  I quite for over a month and my liver tested fine then.  I told myself that I could control it if I had alittle, even went to AA for awhile.  But after I had a drink I didn't stop.  NO ONE now knows what I do.  I live alone, I NEVER go to bars and if I happen to be somewhere that people are drinking I wont have a drop and not even tempted too.  I have major sleeping issues and I think it started there cuz it would help me sleep.  Then it took more and more so here I am.  I hate it and wanna stop.  I tapered off before and that was fine but I'm scared!  It seems I'll buy some to taper off again then I drink it all then feel guilty,  I just want to be done with it.  Please don't say to contact a doctor because i won't do that or go to a rehab.  I guess I am in desperate need of encourangement and stories of people that have done it on their own.  I know I can do it again and when I do, I will never start again.  Please someone tell me how you did it.  I have to be able to go to work and be smart about it but then I end up home alone with a bottle that I'm only supposed to use to wean off then I drink it.  It's a everyday battle!  :'(  I pray the Lord will take it away and I don't know now to go cold turkey or wean since the weaning isn't going very well this time.  I am on meds to help me sleep that is typically used for epilepsy although I don't have that so I'm not worried about seizers.  I just need to get through a couple days without drinking and I can do it like I did before.  Thing is when I stopped before I had a past boyfriend I finally called and told everything too.  He helped and I knew I'd have to answer to someone about what I was doing but he's gone now so I thought maybe I could find someone online to be accountable too, pathetic I know!

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  • Posted

    Gretchen in no way whatsoever are you pathetic. In fact I think you should feel proud of yourself in admitting you've got a problem and are asking for help to deal with it.

    What ever you do, please don't go cold turkey, it can induce seizures which could be fatal, especially with you living alone. Seizures from alcohol withdrawal, are different to seizures in epilepsy, I'm not a medic so do t know if the tablets you're taking would help against seizures from withdrawal.

    I appreciate that you dont want any medical intervention or rehab so you are just left with tapering, which you yourself said is not working. I take it you're drinking a pint of Crown whisky each night, 80/90% proof. I was no good at tapering as I was not strong enough to withdraw from alcohol gradually. So yes I bought half bottles of vodka instead. I'd start of feeling quite positive, but after a couple of drinks I'd end up having drunk half a bottle and going back to the shop for another one for the next day!

    There are a few members on this forum who have used tapering for withdrawal, but don't think there's a lot of success stories.

    The highest success rate is The Sinclair Method, if you Google it, you'll get the basic idea. I'm sure people will explain it better, and will post replies. There is a really helpful man who is a specialist in AUD , alcohol user disorder, (he doesn't have a drink problem lol) and if he sees your post, which I'm sure he will, explain your options.

    I don't want to sound too negative, but ideally, I would have thought the best way to withdraw safely at home, is with chlordiazepoxide (diazapam) you take a high dose the first day and then decrease slowly during the week. Obviously you would need to see your doctor for a prescription.

    you will get other replies all offering help and advice based on their own experiences. Nobody will judge you as we've all had to take that first step, which you've now done.

    keep posting when you want, there's always someone,around,who will try and help you.

    take care, and be proud you've done the hard bit.

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    • Posted

      Gretchen

      The professional counsellor is Paul Turner and I should have said chlordiazepoxide's generic name is LIBRIUM and not DIAZAPAM 

      sorry about that

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    • Posted

      Vicky, that was so sweet of you to take the time to reply and help.  I'm going to look into the things you typed.

      I'm not going to go cold turkey, I'm too scared too.  And you were correct about the 80 proof a day.  I'm determined to do it this time and not tell myself that I can control it and start again.  That's the plan.  I have found if I buy beer, I dont like it so I've bought a couple big cans of those and they don't want me to overdrink.  Yesterday I had less than half a pint and today so far I've had maybe half a beer.  So far all is well.

      I did call a hotline (well several) where everyone told me I couldn't do it on my own but I finally got a lady that told me yes, I could.  That tapering is how they did it years ago.  She told me to treat it like medicine and just take a drink if I started to feel any withdraws.  I do have a prescription for Xanax for occassional use which I don't like to take often but I thought it may be of some help now if I get to anxious which I read can happen.  I've really tried to think this through.

      I so appreciate your support and kindness. I think it helps to hear what other people had to do.  I know I'm sick over all the money I have wasted on this.  I can't even afford to do what I have been  sad

      I will for sure look up the Sinclair Method!  THANK YOU so much!  God Bless you for wanting to help a stranger!

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    • Posted

      Not a problem at all Gretchen, this is what the forum is about, helping and supporting each other.

      i can still remember my first post and thinking "I'm drinking more than other people". I bet no one replies, they probably think I'm a lost cause!! Nothing remotely like that happened, Just a warm welcome, non judgemental and helpful, that was about 5/6 years ago.

      Just one more thing. We are all different, but for me personally, going from a bottle of 80% prof whisky every day to a few cans, wouldnt even touch the surface, a lot to come down to in a short time. You sound very knowledgeable and have obviously researched withdrawal. Just be aware that you might find withdrawal creeping up, but if you're managing that's brilliant.

      stay in touch and let us know how you're doing

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    • Posted

      You are such a smart lady!  Sometimes when I have tried before to quite I would end up drinking 2 pints in a day, crazy how the brain works.  So I'm sure you probably know very well I may be fooling myself and still warning me which is good.

      I am a Christian and I guess I thought I was above this behavoior.  I'm sure in part that is part of my such shame in it.  I do know that we are free to make our choices and I choose to go down this path.  I'm going to try to take it minute by minute to get though.  I guess after I completely stop for 24 hrs or longer will be the true test.

      You are so sweet!  I'm surprised at how supportive everyone has been.  It's amazing!

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    • Posted

      Gretchen it might be many years ago, but I have been where you are at the moment, and it was extremely frightening..

      you can get totally smashed and wasted by alcohol if you want and you're quite within your rights to do what you want.

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  • Posted

    Well done for taking that first step by posting on this forum. There are quite a few people on here who have had success with The Sinclair Method. Please look up ' one little pill' documentary on Amazon. Keep talking to us

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  • Posted

    Hi Gretchen...Pathetic is one thing you are not but you are one brave lady for admitting you have a problem.and not burying your head in the sand any longer .Think about trying the Sinclair method as vickylou suggested, there are lots of useful resources on here ..I started the Sinclair method on 8th December and it has been very effective , I know it's still early days for me but I am now drinking at pretty much safe levels and my attitude to alcohol is already very different

    There is lots of support here so keep coming back,I have found this forum invaluable ... Nat

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much Nat!  Means so much that strangers have taken the time to offer support.  I am for sure going to look up the method.

      Sounds like you are doing amazing since December 8th!  I think hearing other people's stories is very helpful!

      I have to get my head out of the sand, I can't stand being like I have been.  I hate the way I feel and can't afford what I have been doing!  sad

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  • Posted

    Hello Gretchen. I am rushing out so can't answer in much detail but for The Sinclair Method, which VickyLou mentioned, a good place to start reading is http://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder,

    As VickyLou also said, don't go cold turkey. There are other issues as well as seizures that can occur and it can be very dangerous.

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    • Posted

      THANK YOU so much for the link!

      I don't plan to go cold turkey but I am determined.  A lady on a hotline told me to use it like medicine if I start to have withdraws and just have alittle to get through it.

      Yesterday was good and today I've only had less than a can of beer.  I hate beer so it doesn't make me want to overdrink it.  So far so good but I know it's way too early to feel confident  sad

      Again, thank you so much!

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    • Posted

      So you are the go to guy, I realized that now!  Can I ask do you think that Xanax helps with the process.  I have some left from a prescription for occasional use. I try to not use them much but thought in this case it may be helpful if I end up anxious like they talk about online.  Any thoughts?
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    • Posted

      Xanax is a benzodiazepine which is used to relieve alcohol withdrawal symptoms. However, if it wasn't prescribed for that, see a doctor, preferbly the one who prescribed it. Detox shouldn't be done without proper medical supervision. Alcohol causes anxiety so dealing with that is likely to relieve those symptoms but i DO understand it isn't easy to get the help you need.

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    • Posted

      Thanks for understanding and yes, I haven't reached that point yet.  I'm gonna give it another good go on my own.  I know it's the smart thing for everyone to say see a doctor but I'm too embarrassed and ashamed.  I have a blood pressure cuff so I can keep up with that.  I guess alot of people fool themselves into thinking they are being smart!

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    • Posted

      To be honest, you could possibly taper down again, although each time it 'can' get harder to do, as the brain gets trained and is less willing to let go.

      As I said, your problem will be keeping off it. Without medication you will find this nigh on impossible. Your brain has been changed so that when it has alcohol it feels normal, and it always wants to return to this state. There is medication that can reverse this.

      Yes, it is embarrassing and shameful to have to go and admit it to a doctor, but what is the alternative? To possibly end up like your dad?

      Many that post here have ended up in hospital through alcohol (me included) and I don't just mean overnight. Swallow your pride and get help. The other thing you must change is your routine, look at the times when you most want a drink and try to avoid being in that situation. It is fatal for me if I am near a pub on a Friday night.

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    • Posted

      I have read about it changing your brain.  Are you saying the medicine can actually reverse that change?  I've even read they can see it in scans or whatever they do the difference in a normal brain and an acholic.  Do you have to take the pill forever?  I just lost my half brother this summer too due to massive heart attack, he was an acholic too so I don't know if that contributed to it or not.

      I'm sorry about your experiences  sad and I appreciate your replies!  I never go to bars or drink in public.  It's weird, I am not even tempted too.  It's by myself which is probably even worse cuz it's hard to avoid my house.

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    • Posted

      Well, there are two sides to it. What you are referring to, is alcoholic brain atrophy and yes, it does appear on a CT scan as dark patches. Generally refraining from drinking returns the brain to its normal state. I had it written on my hospital notes, so they could obviously see it from the scan.

      Google 'alcoholic brain atrophy'

      The bit that I was referring to, is where the parts of the brain are effected that balance your system. The brain and nervous system has a set of brakes and accelerators and much like a car, when these operate correctly it is a smooth ride. Alcohol upsets the smooth running of the system.

      For example, alcohol acts as a brake, so another part of the brain acts like an accelerator to compensate, only it gets jammed. So when you stop the alcohol, the brain is still running at full speed. This is why anyone that regularly drinks heavily, stops for a day, finds they can't get to sleep because the brain will not shut down, it has still got the accelerator floored.

      This through neural pathway connects to the central nervous system, which is what gives us the shakes in the morning and worse, possible siezures in extreme circumstances. Our brain is unhappy running at full speed and it causes anxiety, the way for the body/brain to stop this, is to consume alcohol and then the system returns to normal.

      We are now in a situation where the brain/body only feels normal

      when we have alcohol in our system. This is why virtually everyone that gives up alcohol fails, because their system is thinking about alcohol from the moment they get up in the morning. It is relentless and it wears people down until even the toughest person gives in.

      Medication like naltrexone and acamprosate helps restore the natural balance so that the brain returns to its previous state where it is normal not to be wanting alcohol all of the time. No, you don't have to take it forever. Acamprosate is recommended for 6-12 months and I have not taken naltrexone, so I will let someone else comment on that.

      Google them and have a read.

       

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    • Posted

      I'm impressed!  I have read those things over and over online but never understood it really until you explained it the way you did, I appreciate that so much!  Makes sense!

      I hide myself wondering if without the medicine would the brain ever return to it's original state without the meds.

      Growing up, I always though why did my Dad chose drinking over being a father and a husband.  He lost everything he loved.  I do have older children so they are mostly here on weekends if they come but I still can't imagine ruining my relationships with them over this but I guess (and thankful) that I haven't been in that position.  I'm divorced so that isn't an issue either.  Part of lonliness and the fact I have had sleep issues has gotten into this mess to escape.  If I drink enough I can just sleep.

      I don't wanna spend my life like that.  I want to go spend time with family and maybe someday get married again.  This mess can't be part of it.

      I do appreciate you explaining that so much.  It would be more helpful for people to read what you wrote than most online articles!

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