I need some advice - PLEASE
Posted , 15 users are following.
I drink way too much, most days a pint of Crown a day. On a blood test my liver enzymes were up and that scared me alot. My dad was an acholic and is deceased. He was never a father and I never wanted anything to do with drinking. I just kind of started and didn't stop. I quite for over a month and my liver tested fine then. I told myself that I could control it if I had alittle, even went to AA for awhile. But after I had a drink I didn't stop. NO ONE now knows what I do. I live alone, I NEVER go to bars and if I happen to be somewhere that people are drinking I wont have a drop and not even tempted too. I have major sleeping issues and I think it started there cuz it would help me sleep. Then it took more and more so here I am. I hate it and wanna stop. I tapered off before and that was fine but I'm scared! It seems I'll buy some to taper off again then I drink it all then feel guilty, I just want to be done with it. Please don't say to contact a doctor because i won't do that or go to a rehab. I guess I am in desperate need of encourangement and stories of people that have done it on their own. I know I can do it again and when I do, I will never start again. Please someone tell me how you did it. I have to be able to go to work and be smart about it but then I end up home alone with a bottle that I'm only supposed to use to wean off then I drink it. It's a everyday battle! :'( I pray the Lord will take it away and I don't know now to go cold turkey or wean since the weaning isn't going very well this time. I am on meds to help me sleep that is typically used for epilepsy although I don't have that so I'm not worried about seizers. I just need to get through a couple days without drinking and I can do it like I did before. Thing is when I stopped before I had a past boyfriend I finally called and told everything too. He helped and I knew I'd have to answer to someone about what I was doing but he's gone now so I thought maybe I could find someone online to be accountable too, pathetic I know!
0 likes, 177 replies
RHGB gretchen22024
Posted
Although you can successfully taper off of the whisky, your problem is always returning to it.
Unless you can break this cycle, you are destined to keep repeating it and it will actually become harder, as your brain and central nervous system will become dependent on it. You are actually starting to experience this already, look up alcohol kindling.
Nearly all of us on here (bar Paul Turner) have had/have problems with alcohol and we've all been down the various routes and felt the frustrations and set backs.
Medication is usually the answer, it helps to either train the brain or reset the brain to not demand alcohol and make it easier for you to ignore alcohol. Of course if you won't see a doctor, then it is going to be hard getting hold of the medication required. The two different types are Naltrexone and Acamprosate if you want to look them up.
I'm not sure of anyone here that had a major problem with alcohol that managed to kick it long term without medication. Therein lies the issue, long term. Many people can kick it short term, but find themselves returning to it, which is hugely depressing and soul destroying and just wants to make you give up trying.
And this bit is for the group, not the OP. Actually epilepsy seizure drugs do actually help as an adjunct to benzos and have also shown to aid against kindling. I believe it works in a similar way to acamprosate.
You can Google 'lamotrigine alcohol withdrawal' the NCBI option is probably the best result shown. I had to take lamotrigine for a couple of months last year, due to blackouts caused in the same way as epilepsy. They in laymans terms are designed to have an effect on the brain to stop certain patterns and electrical activity happening but also effect the brain in a good way to help against seizures and kindling as a byproduct.
They are not to be used instead of benzos.
gretchen22024 RHGB
Posted
WOW, that is scary what you said about your blackouts! I'm happy to know that you think the epilepsy are a good thing. I have a prescription for Xanax for occassional use which I don't like to use but I figured they may come in handy right now since I have a few left to help with the anxiety that they talk about online. I'm trying to be smart about it....trying lol
I have already learned it's going to be hard to not return to the habit if I do break it. I thought I would be fine after stopping for 40 days and once I had a little I was doing the exact same thing again. I have prayed and prayed about this and now know that is I can stop, I can never start again.
I dont want to end up dead like my Dad!
Thank you so much for your help. I plan on looking alot of this up online. God bless you!
vickylou RHGB
Posted
RHGB
Am I right in thinking that you've been on campral for 12 months now and have not strayed.
You certainly don't have to answer this, but just wondered if will still take it after the recommended 12 months. Daft question, but could you say have a couple of pints on a Friday night? I'm not being nosey, just interested in how you feel about drinking once a week. Or is it worth the risk of once a week increasing,or will you just not drink?
Hope you're keeping well with your other health problems
regards
viks
RHGB vickylou
Posted
I stopped taking Campral after about 7 months. After it has reset the brain, there really is no benefit in taking it. It does not provide a safeguard against drinking again.
I will only drink on special occasions. Birthdays, anniversaries etc. where it is a controlled situation. For example, if it was a family birthday meal in a pub, where you would have the opportunity to have a pint before the meal and then a glass or two of wine and then off home, I feel comfortable with that.
If I was to wander into my local tonight (Friday) and have a couple of pints, I would not leave until closing time. I usually try to stick to wine, because I don't get a buzz off of a couple of glasses and it is that buzz that would set me off again.
One of the things that scares most people about giving up alcohol, is the thought of never ever in their life time having a drink again. The thought that very occasionally I can have the odd drink, keeps that monkey off my back. Although, I would say you have to be a very strong character to drink a tiny bit and not start up again, I don't recommend it.
My circumstances are slightly different to others and nothing focuses your mind better, than when you have an appointment with the gastroenterologist on the 2nd Feb - I wonder if it was coincedence that ithe appointment letter dropped through the letter box a couple of days before Christmas.
Sober_As gretchen22024
Posted
Hello Gretchen. You are very far from "pathetic"! You are trying to find the best way to give up alcohol, you are searching for information, you want advice. Look at that, positively... you are wishful, you are curious, you are ready to succeed. I believe you will be successful.
Your replies have been very hopeful and helpful.
I have tried and tried to give up alcohol. I have used various methods. It is not easy... but, some people stop and NEVER GO BACK ! I want to be one of them. You do, too.
I wish you well.
God Bless You, Gretchen.
Alonangel 🎇
P.S. I have just completed my fifth day, alcohol-free. I want this to be the final time that I stop drinking... NO GOING BACK !
gretchen22024 Sober_As
Posted
Thanks for replying! Can I ask are you doing it on your own too?
I feel very determined this time. I'm tried of living like this...I've gained weight, my mind isn't as sharp. I love the way I felt when I stopped before.
You are doing great, 5 days is a week. I would think the hard part is behind you. PLEASE don't go back! You can do it! My goal is for my weaning to be over by Sunday or Monday cuz I don't want to rush it and get sick. If I can make it 5 days like you, I think I will be ok (I pray!) Like you, I want to be one of the people that stop and NEVER GO BACK! Like you, I've already made that mistake and don't wanna do it again.
I don't feel I've been helpful but you made me feel good for saying so. If I have been that makes me feel even better.
I wish you well too, Alonangel! WE CAN DO THIS!
God Bless You! I will pray for you and me both! THANK YOU!
vickylou Sober_As
Posted
hiya angel
that was a nice surprise, just reading posts and discovered you've done five alcohol free days. Really pleased for you, carry on as you're doing.
take care x
gwen45436 gretchen22024
Posted
Hi there, feeling this for you. I have fallen down at the moment and am really cross I have.
The guys on here know my story. Briefly, I spoke to my Doc about my 40 years of daily drinking. She referred me for counselling and gave me diazepam for two weeks. I did not do either as was determined to do it on my own and with the help of the guys on here. I tapered down very slowly from around 15 units a day, down to 9, then 8, 7, 6, 5,4 until I have been having 2 smalll glasses of wine a night. I felt so much better (apart from no sleep which I have huge probs with and used alcohol to sort that) but sleeping tabs prescribed mean no alcohol, and I am too scared to come off cold turkey.
I was really proud of myself .................... and then Xmas came.
We have a bar area and I had asked my hubs not to stock it anymore as it was too tempting for me with all that alcohol staring at me. But he stocked it for Xmas, 10 optics, and bottles of everything, beers, largers (sherry and we don't drink sherry) but all just in case a visitor wanted it.
I was fine Xmas Eve, determined to stick with my two small wines and for the first time in 40 years I had a clear head on Xmas morning. I was really pleased. But over the holiday period and New Year, every day we had different friends round and I failed day after day. A cuppa just was not cutting it for me!!!!!!
So I am back to square one and all that the guys say on here is true. I have to start again tapering down. It has got to be better than thinking blow it I will just continue.
Stay on here, the guys are great, I will join you in tapering slowly and safely. Best of luck and keep us posted.
G.
vickylou gwen45436
Posted
Hi gwen
Similar story here. I don't drink spirits anymore, apart from brandy coffees. To me a liqueur coffee (brandy for me) after a particularly nice meal, either out or at home, just finishes off the meal.
we went booze shopping Christmas Eve, and my husband seemed to be putting half of Waitrose in the trolley. I had ten to cook Christmas lunch for and I wanted a couple of glasses of Moët whilst cooking. Husband drinks weird 60 year old malt whisky, daughter drinks Bombay sapphire gin, a son who only sailor jack rum (something like that anyway) It was decided weeks ago that I said, I'm not really keen on having all that booze near to where I spend most of Christmas and Boxing Day. They were quite happy with just wine, special beers and ciders. So he decided it was Christmas after all and people should have what they want.
I did have a lot to drink over 14 days, but only when i wanted it, and never when on my own. Christmas Day, I had my champagne which was fine. The kids went back to their own homes, husband is away skiing until tomorrow, and I'm surrounded by booze. I did drink half a bottle of wine one night, and the other half the next day.
Gwen you didn't fall down, you have two small glasses each night. Circumstances give more opportunities and there's no routine. I agree sitting drinking a cup of tea wouldn't do it for me either. You're not back to square one, or do you mean you're suffering from withdrawal. I drank Monday, will have a couple of glasses of wine tonight, dinner out with friends tomorrow night and a christening Sunday. Touch wood, nothing till following Saturday.
compared to what I used to drink, and number of days spent in bed recovering, I don't think I've fallen down. However if I'd drank in secret over Christmas from my hiding places, then just had one and making out I wasn't bothered about a drink, then I would be back to square one.
keep in touch and will pm you later x
gwen45436 vickylou
Posted
Hi hun - soo annoyed - just wish he had never re-stocked up - the bloody bar is lit up and staring at me - he just passes it - bummer bummer - I know you have something to help the craving and so far I am doing it without - well maybe, just maybe, if I want to live, that is what I need to do - hate the thought of submission though, I don't like to give in to anything in life - bit of a fighter really. But really appreciate your feedback. I wish I could bomb this stupid bar, there is loads of stuff there just laughing at me. I mean this is torture for me and I was doing so well. I find it hard to understand how hubs absolutely does not get it at all. If it got to him one day, I would be Mrs helpful and how can we solve this - but then I am different in my approach and caring for peeps.
Thank u tho hunni.
G.
vickylou gwen45436
Posted
Gwen , I don't take anything, no medication. I was on campral for 12 months and it really does stop cravings. Like I said before, I did drink quite a bit over Christmas, meals out, parties, friends round and all three kids. I put a bottle of wine in the fridge this afternoon, with a view of having a couple of glasses, I've had my dinner, picked up my kindle and don't want it.
however a couple of times last year, when I'm anxious, I spent one or two hours frantically searching for anything alcoholic in the house, garage and even the shed!! All I could think about was alcohol. What has changed? What causes the cravings, I've kept a drink diary for about 8-10 years and I can't see any patten.
Good luck and keep in touch x
Sober_As gretchen22024
Posted
Yes, Gretchen, I am doing it on my own, this FINAL TIME. I have to.
I have tried many ways, in the past.... but have gone back , it is soul-destroying !
I will pray for you, too.
I do have meds if I feel that is necessary, but I have no cravings... so far. I have completed 6 days, now.
All power to your will !
Alonangel🎇
Sober_As vickylou
Posted
Hi Vickylou. I am taking heart from each day away from alcohol. I must keep on going. Otherwise, I will be dead. I know how I feel.
Thanks for your good wishes.
I hope things turn out well for you.
Blessings,
Angel 🎇 X
gretchen22024 gwen45436
Posted
I keep trying to tell myself that setbacks don't mean to give up but to get up and move on.
I hate that happened to you! I miss having a husband and been single a long time, it stinks! I can't imagine why he would tempt you like that with stocking the house with it.
I guess in some social circles that's what people expect at Holidays. Thankfully I'm not faced with that. There is never acholoh at my families house on any occassion which I'm blessed to say.
I hate having a foggy mind but have to admit I love the feel it gives me in the moment. I haven't slept well in years and been on this med and that med for it. I was up for about 36 hrs and finally went to another doctor who put me on these epilepsy meds to "retrain" my brain. After he read my sleep study he said my sleep was crap. Well, I knew that. Drinking helped me sleep but now I've read it isn't the kind of sleep you need. It took more and more to help. I've drank 2 pints of 80 proof in a day before. Horrible, I know.
I'm about on my third day of tapering and it's going well. I'm happy to hear that's how you did it cuz I have no intentions of going to detox or seeing a doctor about it so I know I have to do it right and safe. But what you said it what I'm worried about that I won't physically need it but will want it.
So I guess you and I are about at the same place. THANK YOU! Me and you are gonna taper and do this for the last time, I pray! I dont want to waste more time living in a fog when I could be living life! <3
God Bless You, Gwen!
gretchen22024 gwen45436
Posted
I dont understand how he doesn't "get" it if he knows your struggle!
gretchen22024
Posted
I guess I'm lil stubborn like you too. I want to do it on my own. My ex husband told me I would fail when we got divorced and that hurt. Makes me not want to fail at all at anything. Maybe it helped me in ways cuz it's given me the....not gonna prove him right attitude! We live in a small town and his family have worked at the hospital. Don't want this issue to ever be in a medical chart of any kind anywhere. I have preached not drinking to my kids for years, I never want them to know either so maybe a little bit of stubborn is a good thing at times.
vickylou Sober_As
Posted
keep it going angel, you know you can do it. No cravings, good to know you have backup meds if needed.
take care
Robin2015 gwen45436
Posted
gwen45436 gretchen22024
Posted
gretchen, he does not get nor understand it because he does not have AUD. He used to drink like a fish for years and I used to call him an alcoholic!! But he can happily have a beer in the house with dinner and no more. Whereas with our lil ole problem, the one leads to more. He is not at all dependent on alcohol, whereas obviously I am. How I wish I hated it
But onwards and upwards and the fact that all this flippin booze smiles at me every time I pass the bar area, makes me even more determined. Talk about a challenge - not giving in or up though. I refuse.
Let's keep going kiddo.
Gwen x
gretchen22024 gwen45436
Posted
AMEN to that! I'd be tempted to pour it all out! You have to be strong if tons of it is sitting in your house! It's hard to understand how one person can drink like a fish and be normal and another can't. I guess it's the same as people that eat a plate of cookies and gain no weight. Me on the other hand can't hardly look at a cookie without gaining!!!
We are gonna do this, Gwen!!! I hope that your hubby will eventually "get it"!
Nat666 Sober_As
Posted
Sober_As Nat666
Posted
Hi Nat. Thank you for the encouragement. I am on Day 7, now.
NO GOING BACK.....EVER !!!
I hope you are doing well.
Blessings,
Alonangel 🎇
Nat666 Sober_As
Posted
I am doing good thankyou
You take care and I am wishing you well N x