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I need some advice - PLEASE

Posted , 15 users are following.

gretchen22024
gretchen22024

I drink way too much, most days a pint of Crown a day.  On a blood test my liver enzymes were up and that scared me alot.  My dad was an acholic and is deceased.  He was never a father and I never wanted anything to do with drinking.  I just kind of started and didn't stop.  I quite for over a month and my liver tested fine then.  I told myself that I could control it if I had alittle, even went to AA for awhile.  But after I had a drink I didn't stop.  NO ONE now knows what I do.  I live alone, I NEVER go to bars and if I happen to be somewhere that people are drinking I wont have a drop and not even tempted too.  I have major sleeping issues and I think it started there cuz it would help me sleep.  Then it took more and more so here I am.  I hate it and wanna stop.  I tapered off before and that was fine but I'm scared!  It seems I'll buy some to taper off again then I drink it all then feel guilty,  I just want to be done with it.  Please don't say to contact a doctor because i won't do that or go to a rehab.  I guess I am in desperate need of encourangement and stories of people that have done it on their own.  I know I can do it again and when I do, I will never start again.  Please someone tell me how you did it.  I have to be able to go to work and be smart about it but then I end up home alone with a bottle that I'm only supposed to use to wean off then I drink it.  It's a everyday battle!  :'(  I pray the Lord will take it away and I don't know now to go cold turkey or wean since the weaning isn't going very well this time.  I am on meds to help me sleep that is typically used for epilepsy although I don't have that so I'm not worried about seizers.  I just need to get through a couple days without drinking and I can do it like I did before.  Thing is when I stopped before I had a past boyfriend I finally called and told everything too.  He helped and I knew I'd have to answer to someone about what I was doing but he's gone now so I thought maybe I could find someone online to be accountable too, pathetic I know!

0 likes, 177 replies

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  • Robin2015
    Robin2015 gretchen22024

    Posted

    no pathetic for certain. Good replies and I also suggest Sinclair Method and Paul Turner...you are brave and best of luck Regards Robin
  • ichooselif43323
    ichooselif43323 gretchen22024

    Posted

    Gretchen, you are telling my story. I've tried quitting drinking so many times but in the end, I know I'm only letting myself down when I fail. So what's the big deal.

    I've learned that being single really allowed my problem to spiral out of control. I can drink all day, every day, because no one knows, no one cares. It's a harsh reality.

    Which is how I found myself here. My problem is my secret and I choose to continue to keep it from my family and friends. But I'm ready to quit and I feel like I need to talk to someone, anyone about it, to help me get through. So I googled "alcoholic forum" clicked on the first thing I saw and yours was the first post to pop up. Reading your words was like reading my own. I felt elevated, just knowing that I'm not alone. And my name is Gretchen too smile

    Thanks for sharing and good luck to you!

    • gretchen22024
      gretchen22024 ichooselif43323

      Posted

      Hi Gretchen lol  I also lol-ing your name not our issue!  I just joined night before last.  I was married for years and this subject was the last thing from my mind.  Now, here I am divorced, my kids are older so I usually just see them on weekends mostly.  I think being single makes it harder in my opinion.  A person gets off work and for the most part comes home to an empty house. 

      Like you, it's my secret now and I never want my family or friends to know.  That's why I finally gave in a joined on here cuz hearing from people like you that are the same and others offering advice just in the last day make me feel better and want to suceed even more!  THANK YOU for messaging!

      I have found that everyone will tell you that you can't do it alone.  I finally found one lady on a phone hotline (which yes, I blocked my number from) that told me a person can taper off of it because that is what they used to do. She said use it like medicine and only have some when you start to sweat or shake.  Just to be safe at first I would drink 1-2 ounces of Crown every 8 hrs for a few days, then I made it about twice a day.  Just cuz I was still scared of withdraws.  Then after a couple days of that, I thought you know I'm ok and just stopped.

      I did it before for 40 days and was so stupid in starting again.  sad  Scared me like crazy when the doc said my liver enzymes were above normal and wanted me to have another blood test.  I read all about it online and tapered off and didn't have the test for weeks and it was fine.  Thank the Lord for that but I thought I can control this now.  WRONG CHOICE!  The downhill swirl all over again.

      I finally thought enough is enough, I don't want to kill myself this way. I wanna be an old Grandma and help raise my grandkids so a couple days ago I started again.  I've just had alittle compared to what I had been and so so far so good.  I plan to be done by Sunday or Monday and NO MORE!

      Trust me, you're not alone!  Articles say avoid bars, etc. Well, I've never done that and you can't avoid your hosue where it happens behind closed doors.

      PLEASE do this with me.  We don't want to be like this. We hate the way it makes us feel!  We want a normal future with someone.  What is pitiful is I know I don't want to be with a drinker and never have wanted to be.  I have thought what if something happened and I was put in the hospital for long. I wouldn't want to tell them and I would probably withdraw and I would have to tell.  I DON'T want anyone, even my doctor, to know.

      Talk to me anytime, I mean it.  I've never done it but you can message me if you know how.  Now sure that I do lol

      THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!  Good luck to us both!

      I know I wrote a ton!  LOL

       

    • ichooselif43323
      ichooselif43323 gretchen22024

      Posted

      No need to apologize for writing a ton. Please know that every word you write- it's therapy for me. It keeps me going. I'm happy to read your ramblings. By all means, ramble on!

    • ichooselif43323
      ichooselif43323

      Posted

      I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. To starting anew. I will be more than happy to share the journey with you...we got this!

  • taryn76919
    taryn76919 gretchen22024

    Posted

    I totally feel your pain, and you are not alone! I was a daily drinkers for years, but i started drinking in the morning to ease the shakes, which turned into drinking all day and night. I suprisingly have never lost my job nor got into any legal trouble. I tried to quit but the detox was to severe and i went back to the bottle. I ended up going to rehab for a while, and i have relapsed a few times, but they havent been as severe. If you plan on quitting cold turkey, you might need to seek medical attention. Delirum Tremmens may set in after a few days and you dont want to be at home alone. Most doctors will prescribe Librium or a similar benzo, but those can be highly addictive and will make you sluggish. I have detoxed on my own a few times and i was able to do it with out taking Librium that i am prescribed to. One thing i have found to help ease the withdraw symtoms and detox is a suppliment called Phenibut. it doesnt have the harsh side effects that benzos like Librium and others the doctor will most likely prescribe for withdraws. It has helped me quite a bit in the past and helps with anxiety and sleep (you dont need a prescription, this is over the counter). This is not a suppliment you should take everyday, because you can build a tolerance to it, and just like anything in access can create a dependence. You might want to look into it if you arent wanting to go to a doctor. I am by no means a doctor, so if you think you need to seek medical treatment, i would see about going in to detox. This has just worked for me in the past to get over the severe withdraw symptoms. From there you will just have to manage to stay away from the bottle. I hope this helps. I wish you the best. 
    • vickylou
      vickylou taryn76919

      Posted

      Most doctors will prescribe for withdrawals, not if you won't go and see a doctor and don't want anyone to know as it's your secret!

    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 vickylou

      Posted

      Unfortunately, Vickylou, that is not the case these days. Most doctors won't. I can understand why because it is dangerous to detox without proper support and the fault lies with local services having no facility in place to offer that support. They just want you to keep completing the drinking diary.

    • RHGB
      RHGB gretchen22024

      Posted

      Er no. Not only will doctors not give you the medication to self detox, they will not send you to a detox facility because they are virtually none.

      If you can get sent to a public detox facility, you are very lucky.

    • gretchen22024
      gretchen22024 RHGB

      Posted

      I have heard they are next to impossible to get into around here but I never dreamed that a family doctor would not help.  I'm thankful there are groups like this that I have been a chicken for months to even become part of.  I guess it just makes reality set in even more but I've found it very helpful.  

      I'm determined to be smart about it and do it on my own this time.  I pray by Monday I am totally weaned off and can say no, I haven't had a drop!

    • vickylou
      vickylou PaulJTurner1964

      Posted

      Paul

      i didn't make it clear I was repeating what Taryn said. I know Drs won't prescribe due to the danger when combined with alcohol. It was a bit of a sarcastic, but light hearted remark that they won't prescribe if you won't see a doctor lol! and don't want anyone to know your secret.

      i am trying to understand the reluctance of why people won't see their GP to try and get some form of help and advice. They ask for help  and about medication, then say they don't want their GP to know as its embarrassing. Well I for one, would be more than happy to suffer a slight wobble, if it helped me. Also, I think people still think  AUD sit on park benches drinking cheap cider.

       

    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 vickylou

      Posted

      Sorry, I had been driving all day and didn't catch your irony smile I treat a lot of people who do not want their GP to know as they have to have medical reports for work and would lose their job if anything alcohol-related was revealed.

      I agree about the stereotype many expect when they think of someone with AUD.

    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 gretchen22024

      Posted

      It's not straightforward. GPs' hands are tied in many parts of the country. The only specialist services to refer to are simply support with no medical staff employed.

      Alcohol detox can be dangerous and people do die when doing it. It doesn't need to be like that if there is appropriate clinical support and detoxes can be very safe but if a GP simply prescribed Librium or Valium and sent a patient away to get on with it alone, there are many risks involved. Can't really blame GPs for not taking a risk with their licence and even, potentially, their liberty. The problem is with the lack of resources in the NHS for the treatment of alcohol problems but also a lack of insight by the organisers of healthcare as to how they might provide a safe and effective service. That comes down to attitudes as well as lack of knowledge.

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