I never desire sex and don’t enjoy it, why?

Posted , 7 users are following.

I don’t ever desire sex, sometimes I get a little desire but when I am having sex, I wish it would end fast and do not enjoy it. I have to pretend I enjoy it to make my partner happy. It really sucks and I hate it. It’s like having to go to work when he comes on to me, the idea just tired me out.  I just really have no desire at all. I don’t even desire to have an orgasm most of the time, when I do, I want it over fast. I mean, it feels good and all but I don’t desire it, I rarely please myself and tell my hubby I don’t feel like it whenever he tries to go down on Me, because I know it will take a long time to finish. Is there anything I can do to make me desire it? Any herbs? Foods? Anything? I am only 35, I should be at my sexual peek.

0 likes, 22 replies

Report / Delete

22 Replies

Next
  • Posted

    I think you need to talk to your partner and let him know what you are going through.
    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      he knows and just thinks he got unlucky to have someone so not sexual. I asked hi mom if he wanted me to be real of fake it and he said he’d be fine with me faking. I just hate faking
      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I think it's a situation that calls for a dialogue between you and him so that you could join hands and work out a solution.

    Sex doesn't have to be a workout. But it could be spiced up by the very simplest creativity. Don't treat it as a wedding party preparation, which could be a major stress. Handle it like a special moment that could happen spontaneously, because it could. It doesn't have to always happen in bed; it could be in the shower, dining, etc. Think about sex and ways to make it enjoyable. With time, you should start getting your fire back, and before long you'd be asking for it all the time. It's a mind thing. Therefore, condition your mind to see the benefits of it. Bear in mind that you don't have to use medications. Good luck! 

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Thank you, it was a beautiful comment. I have tried really hard to enjoy it and of i reallllllly try I do but it’s really annoying I have to try so hard to enjoy it.
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      You're so welcome. But you've got to realize that you don't have to wear yourself out trying. Put in a little effort at a time. The key is to realize that you have a goal, but at the same time you've got to let it flow naturally as though you weren't really trying to achieve anything. Condition your mind in a way that it shouldn't be thinking of it as an exercise.

      Pre-occupy your mind with thoughts of sex, crazy sex positions..., with you having a blast and getting pleased like never before. Put yourself in a utopic world of sex right before going to bed. Don't be surprised when you wake up in the middle of the time and want to have freaky sex. Bam! Go for it!! Get that fire going; don't accept any excuses. I assure you that if you do these things, you'd be back with a success story.

      Be optimistic. Be positive. Be willing to explore. Be insatiable. Be yourself. Most importantly, do not deny yourself the opportunity to enjoy sex in a whole new way.

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Some people don't like sex. Have you had other partners? If so did you enjoy sex then? You should tell your partner the truth. Your partner shouldn't be deprived a sex unless they're OK with that.

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      MY husband knows, I don’t need to tell him really. i think it’s pretty obvious. I had other partners, quite a few tbh. I used to enjoy sex more but over the years it became less and less that I enjoyed it. I think the fun of just meeting someone and having sex with a new partner, it’s not about the sex really, it’s fun because it’s new but when you have been with the same person for years, that new fun is gone. I try to pretend to get into it as he has told me if I don’t enjoybit I could at least pretend I do. I don’t deprive him of sec, I try really hard to push myself to do it, it’s just very hard for me to get up and do it.
      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    My girlfriend tells me that too, and I don't know if she doesn't like having sex with me or at all.

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Ask her.I do think my husband is partly to blame since he is a very difficult lover. Let me explain- the one position that makes me cum during sex,  doesn’t like it and looses his erection fast. When I masturbate during sex, he doesn’t like that’s either, it’s like sex is only to please him, I can’t even begin to enjoy it because it’s pointleess trying. If I start to enjoy it, he cums and it’s over.
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Sorry to hear that, try to talk with him. And I think you can use a psychologist to help you both.

      My problem is position too, I don't think she want have sex with me anymore.

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Althylove, would that position possibly be you on top? Many men have trouble keeping an erection when they'tre on their back. Google it. He may try to avoid that position to avoid the embarrassment of losing his erection. 

      Oh your husband is a selfish lover.

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      No he likes it when I’m im on top. I recently just learned in the last year How to have an orgasm fro my sex alone, I have to be on top and slide my pelvis forward in a way that his penis rubs against this spot inside (it’s the gspot obviously) I can be on top no problem but this position to make me cum makes him soft. I tried the other day asking him if I could at least masturbate while we have sex so i can cum  as I love cumming while having sex and he said no that he doesn’t like when I masturbate while havin gets sex. I kinda got angry and told him “well, since im lowed to enjoy allowed enjoy sex!” He just got irritated and we had our boring sex after. 
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Some men have trouble maintaining an erection on their back. Google it you'll see. I don't know if there is a way to fix it. 

      If he is against you masterbating during sex he is being selfish. Tell him you're going to masterbate or you're going to find another partner. You're entitled to enjoy sex also. 

      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up