I still don't feel the same after smoking weed for the first time. NEED SUPPORT PLEASE

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Hello, Im posting here to get some reassurance and support. It has been over a year and a half now since I tried an illigal high (weed) for the first time and suffered a panic attack in which I thought I was going to lose my mind and die, and end up in a mental hospital. The high lasted about 4.5 hours. Nothing felt real and when the high wore off things didn't feel the same as before. I found out about derealization and depersonalization and I think that is what I have been dealing with since. I was diagnosed with GAD and I think I might of had it prior to smoking the pot but not to an extent that it bothered me.

The best way to explain it it just feels like something is off, nothings the same, i feel disconnected in a way. Like i keep trying to compare how i fet before the high (normal) to now but I cant exactly pinpoint what it is.

My vision gets weird and its hard to focus on anything. I see "noise" or static like tiny dots (visual snow) when looking at the night sky and floaters when looking at the blue sky. All things I have never experienced before the high.

At the start of this hell I thought I had died or that I was in hell. (It felt like it and my anxiety was through the roof and i felt nausous and panicky). I was obsessed with thinking i was going insane (schizophrenic) infact I still do get VERY VEEEEERY scared about it. Thinking that i could go mad. I also have light sensetivity wheb i look at something i get an afterimage if it that stays in my vision for a bit.

I feel like i had all my life ahead of me and now i cant live life like before. As if a part of me died. (Im not delusional though i dont think).

What has made it tolerable is being busy with study and work... But when im free all i do is be upset about it and feel miserable. I dont want medication because if the side effects and risks of psychosis/suicide.

I have no energy to do anything at times...

And i think the more time goes by the more i lose hope.

Please PLEASE if you can relate or have advice/support please contact me or reply to me here.

Thank you so much

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  • Edited

    Im actually so surprised that someone had the exact experiecne that I had. I was very young when I first smoked so I think that may of had something to do with it but I had the worst panic attack where I thought I was stuck in a constant loop and wouldn't get out. I only noticed the floaters in my eye and blurry vision a few week later and didn't know where it came from. I even got my eyes checked and they said everything was fine so now I know the weed must of caused it. It has been 5 years now since that occurence and believe it or not im still smoking but dont really enjoy it and never want to have a lot.

  • Posted

    I think ive experienced the same thing. Im not a regular smoker and the times ive smoked recently resulted in a panic attack, chills, shaking , and my body being extremely tense. Ive been wanting to know why this is happening now versus the times when i used to get high and i would be fine. Also something really weird happened the other day where i was drinking a mango smoothie that had an added energy supplement and i took a few sips and i started to have a bad "high" that lasted 30 min - 1hr. The weird part is i have not smoked since 2 weeks ago meaning i wasnt high the day i drank the drink. Can someone please explain what that mightve been.

  • Edited

    Hi Leah not sure if youre still checking this. I totally understand what you are feeling, and it might be hard to believe that especially when im sure most of the time you try to explain these sensations to others they dont truly understand what its like. That disconnect you are experiencing as if you are both floating and trudging through mud, where your vision feels grainy is a sensation i am all too familiar with. I first learned about depersonalization and derealization myself after having an episode experiencing it in college. since then it comes and goes. here is what ive found out about it since and also some advice to give to you:

    firstly i too have GAD and prone to panic attacks. Depersonalization and derealization when a symptom of severe anxiety often results from your mind "overprotecting"itself. it is easier for the brain in some instances to dismiss and disconnect from stressors rather than trying to navigating them. when the brain splits too much though it creates that sensation of derealization and depersonalization which is uncomfortable, BUT NOT DANGEROUS. have this in mind, while you may feel off and anxious you are tethered to reality. you know what is going on, your experiences while uncomfortable are real and still your own. you may FEEL LIKE or THINK as if something bad could happen or thst you may go crazy, but you havent yet and you are not going to. because what you are experiencing isnt psychosis and it is quite a normal phenomenon. people like you and myself just experience this type of disconnect more intensely than most others.

    of course the discomfort is still something to address. what i have found to work the best is mindfulness, and even talking about it with others. i remember when i used to fight the sensation i too experienced the fear you described. but its not dangerous and its not going to hurt you or make you hurt others. if you accept it for what it is and acknowledge it and just try to do what you need to in life and distract yourself it WILL subside. sure it may come and go, but it is normal and not something you need to fear or feel as though you are alone with or need to fight

    i apologize this is my first response ever o actually made an account just to reply to your thread so i hope you see this. please reach out if you have any questions but i hope this helps!

  • Posted

    hey i have the exact same problem the visual snow the static vision the feeling when you know something is off ive had it for about almost 3 years the one thing i can say is it does calm down after a while and the depersonalization that stays a bit but all i can really say is dont stress about it your still living you can still do normal day to day things thats all that really matters but i hope this helped and have a good one

  • Posted

    hey i have the exact same problem the visual snow the static vision the feeling when you know something is off ive had it for about almost 3 years the one thing i can say is it does calm down after a while and the depersonalization that stays a bit but all i can really say is dont stress about it your still living you can still do normal day to day things thats all that really matters but i hope this helped and have a good one

  • Posted

    hey i have the exact same problem the visual snow the static vision the feeling when you know something is off ive had it for about almost 3 years the one thing i can say is it does calm down after a while and the depersonalization that stays a bit but all i can really say is dont stress about it your still living you can still do normal day to day things thats all that really matters but i hope this helped and have a good one

  • Posted

    hi i experienced this same exact thing from sativa maybe around october of 2019. Now i feel better but i have the strong urge to smoke again and i was wondering is indica would give me the same results. Can someone please help me find out which strain is best to avoid this

  • Posted

    this is happenning to me did u get better after a few days?

  • Edited

    how are you now??

    i am feeling the same

    I am 20 i smoked weed yesterday(i smoked weed two times before this)afternoon and had a massive attack maybe panic attack heart beat was too much fast felt like heart will break my ribs,eyes were red and whole body was vibrating i thought i am gonna die

    after some hours like 3-4 that heart beat rate and vibration became ok but still the slowness around my surroudings and the dizziness in my head were there also i felt like i am not the controller of my body

    after a 9 hours sleep gained some energy but that feeling(slowness and feeling like i am not controlling my body) still here in my head/body

    and now at night its more

    less energy,slowness,head dizziness,sleepy mode always,fatigue and something different are the symptoms i am experiencing i am feeling like i am not the one i was before feeling like i will not be like i was again

    please help me what to do

    its day 2 man i am very scared

    • Posted

      hey, i don't know if you're reading this but try to not think about it. listen to audible about anxiety and how to deal with it. You won't be the same again, cos i'm suffering with the same thing. but you need to embrace it, exercise do something to take your mind of it.

  • Edited

    Hi I had the exact same thing happen to me when I was 15 years old. I had no prior issues with anxiety, then I smoked weed for the first time, I felt like I was in a dream, dying, and thought I had wrecked my brain. The next day I felt like something was off and everything didnt seem real. I developed severe anxiety and went to a psychologist as this feeling persisted. I thought I was going crazy. But now I am taking my time to write this because I know how horrible anyone experiencing this feels. It has been 4 years since then and I got 100% back to normal by the time I was 17. I am now in my second year university and feel fine and the thought of this experience barley crosses my mind. How did I do this?

    1. after you read this post, STOP searching stuff up about weed dp/dr on the internet, never search it anything up about it up again! It feeds into you always thinking about it!
    2. Dont entertain the idea ( I stopped seeing my psychologist and stopped talking about it) this gives it less power
    3. get busy!!! test your anxiety and continue on with your life! if going to a busy mall makes you nervous... keep doing this, you need to go out of your comfort zone to get more comfortable.
    4. continue to stay busy, get a job, go for a walk, hang out with friends (it is so important to stay busy and keep your mind busy)
    5. work out (i started working out 2-3 times a day... intense work outs:)!)

      All of this WILL work! The best thing to do is stay busy! This will have you thinking about other things and as time passes the feeling will just go away. Honestly its not like I just had a specific day where I got better, I just stopped entertaining my anxious thoughts causing this feeling by keeping busy and eventually it was nothing but a distant feeling and memory. You just have to stop giving this thought power, your body will then learn its flight response does not need to be triggered, and over time you will be back to your normal self! Hang in there, things WIll get better 😃

      this feeling is just temporary! Now go get some fresh air! facetime a friend! read a book! just live your life!

  • Edited

    This happened to me 7 months ago, and there were days that I feel like i'm not myself. I don't know how to get on with life anymore especially with this pandemic. it's really really hard. It wasn't the first time that I took it but that night I was unbelievable high, i went out, tried to walk around cos i couldn't breathe. my friends couldn't even recognise me they thought i was trippin. I can hear them but I can't see them. That feeling that you think your gonna die. That was my first ever panic attack. After that night, i was okay, but when i went back to work damn I had a huge panic attack again and I was ill for two weeks, I couldn't even recognise myself. i think a lot of things, what if i'm gonna die until now I still do. before this happened I was always happy and fun but I swear it this s**t changed the whole me, I'm trying to overcome it everyday. Still trying until now, thank you for sharing btw. It means a lot that i'm not the only one out here trying to survive. if you read this please do. You'll be fine, just exercise, have fun, and hopefully after this pandemic you can all go out with your friends again. Please think of something you can look forward to.

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