I suffer with BDD but how do i overcome it?

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I've never been happy with the way i look. Its always been a problem i have suffered with and recently its become a lot worse. I feel like people stare and whisper when im in public, i feel judged all the time and because of this i never want to leave my house. Well this resulted in me taking a large amount of medication and having to stay in hospital. My family and friends didnt believe how bad i was affected and they still dont understand now. Nothing has changed and im still miserable. i pretend to be sick just so i dont have to go to work (i work in a popular food place), i blow my friends off because i dont want to leave my house. Id rather sit and cry at my reflection then dare go outside my front door. Im sorry if this is the wrong place to post this but i just dont know what will help. I have to talk to a therapist due to the hospital but talking wont change what i see in the mirror. Im so tired of feeling this way feeling like no one else feels the same. Has anyone else felt similar to this?

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  • Posted

    Its interesting that you say talking to a therapist won't change what you see when looking in a mirror. That's true, neither will medication, but talking will change what you think when you look in a mirror. Therapy really does work, it takes time and commitment and honesty and to be ready for it, but it can make all the difference on the world
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    • Posted

      Thank you. I think I'm just scared to talking to someone to be honest cause when I've tried to talk to someone ( a family member or friend) they totally dismiss it and believe I'm just being daft. But I guess speak in with someone I don't know may be what I need!
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  • Posted

    Hello Lizzie,

    Is your problem that you look perfectly nice...but you see only the negatives OR do you really have some feature that is maybe out of proportion to your other features? If you yourself saw someone who looked like you, would you find that person unattractive?

    Look up 'before and after' makeovers on the internet. I am sure you will see that with a nice haircut, some well applied makeup and flattering clothing, people's appearance is greatly enhanced. Have you see movie stars without makeup? Many, if not most are plain Janes. 

    But if for example you have a very large nose...or severely receding chin or protruding teeth...why not get plastic surgery.? Go to your bank and ask for a loan if necessary. Many people would not agree that this is the solution...but we have one life to live so why not live it being attractive?

    Again, however, if your perception is skewed and really, you are perfectly nice looking, counselling is the way to go. You say you have BDD... Is that body dysmorphia? If so, then disregard the plastic surgery idea...you will not be happy with any result. 

    Because this is undoubtedly due to a biochemical brain imbalance, you may need to be on medication. Even with medication you can try to develop a positive outlook,. Turn your thoughts away from negativity, think of others and their concerns instead of always your own. The last thing you want to do is stay secluded in your home wrapped up in your own thoughts. You could set yourself goals such as walking to the end of the street and back. The next day go a bit further. Before you know it, you will be walking a lot. Not only will you be getting your mind off yourself and looking outwards, but the exercise and daylight will both lift your mood. There is an actual chemical reaction in the pineal gland in the back of the eyes that results in mood enhancement in the brain. Same with exercise.

    I hope you feel better soon.

    Let me know which of the two cases in the first paragraph fits your case.

    Robin (female) 

    You have an awfully cute name btw. Lizzie...adorable!

    When you wake up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror and SAY nice things about your appearance. Before you can get negative, walk away. 

    Good luck

    Robin

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    • Posted

      It's everything to be honest! I have a skin condition which comes and goes and has no cure which makes it all the more worse! I look at other people and I just wish I could be them instead of myself. People say my imperfections are in my head but I know they are there and it feels like people just lie and say I'm okay to make me shut up about it rolleyes I wear make up and have long dark hair. I try not to be noticeable but either way I feel like I am rolleyes if I don't check my appearance in a mirror it's in a phone or I can't help but constantly ask if I look ok. I probably annoy them all but I literally can't stop. Even when I'm at work I have to check what I look like just incase my make up has smudged! 

      Thank you I like your name aswell!

      And thank you for replying!

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    • Posted

      Hello Lizzie, I know this suggestion will  not be popular....but why don't you visit a plastic surgeon and ask his opinion? I suspect that he/she would either suggest that

      1. you do not need surgery

      2. and that if you had it, because of a psychological, dysmorphic condition that you 'may' have, surgery will not make you happy....because the issue is not really your appearance but something within.

      3. OR...the doctor might agree that your appearance could use some tweaking.

      Consider that if the plastic surgeon gave you answer 1 or 2, this could convince you that you really are fine the way you are. The doctor would have no reason to lie to you in order to be nice.

      You call your problem with your appearance 'imperfections'. In other words, your appearance is not 'perfect'; it is IMperfect. But who IS perfect? Would you really want to look perfect? It's our unusual bits that make us unique and interesting.

      You ask if anyone feels this way about themselves. Personally, I don't particularly like my chubby cheeks or rosacea or errant hairs that I have to constantly pluck. But I consider myself pleasant to look at... Is anything or anyone ever perfect?

      You doubt that therapy could help. Therapists are knowledgeable in treating your particular condition. Like with OCD, I believe you could see major improvements in a short period of time. 

      I hope that with therapy and hard work on your part, you find inner peace and tranquility. Good luck, Lizzie!

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  • Posted

    I think Lizzie some therapeutic help is what you may need, medication may play a part or it may not. Please do look for some help, its tempting to simplify what might or might not be quick fixes or fixes based on wishful thinking or simple steps, but a deal seated long term problem needs to be respected and dealt with medically or therapeutically. I wish you a lot of luck
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  • Posted

    Honestly, Lizzie.  If you can not care what people think because all of us are imperfect in someway...some of our imperfections are more noticeable than others...and we are all different "flowers" in God's garden.  He loves you as much as He loves the person you think is judging you.  Also, usually when a person criticizing others, they are trying to hide their fawls.  However, much of what you think is probably imaginary.  Sometimes medicine can make you feel worse.  Being honest with a therapist is a good idea.  He/she might recommend natural supplements to help with your anxieties and give you techniques to deal with your self-image.  There are people with much of their face distorted, lose limbs, obese, blind, deaf, etc and learn to be happy with what does work and are comfortable in their own skin.  I think you are your worst enemy.  However, I am praying that you become your friend. Much of what we worry about doesn't come true or is not true (only in our heads).  We can not change people but we can change how we respond to them.  A therapists will help you with positive responses and remember you probably can not tell a therapists something he/she has not heard before.  You are not alone and taking the appropriate steps you will get better and become happy.
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