I think I'm addicted and I'm scared to quit

Hi... this kind of advice is motivating me to quit for good. Thank you so much x

Hi, Didi. I know it's not a lot compared to most, maybe I'm just weak because the anxiety is unbearable sometimes. I totally agree with you and I'm gonna try to get back control. Thank you x

Hi May

Have you spoken to your doctor about your anxiety? Is it linked to this? If not seek further advice. I suffer anxiety myself and very rarely leave the house from which I also work. I "socialise" with my clients in the massage treatment room but other than that Im pretty much a recluse.

The other thing May, as Didi says, your intake is very low so quitting should be easier. You need to address why you feel so anxious. You mustn't be afraid to talk to your GP about this xxx Drew

Thank you so much for your reply. I've set a date to quit so for the next couple of days I'll taper myself off co-codamol. My GP knows I have issues with anxiety but I'm afraid of how people will react if I say I abuse prescription pills. Have you ever gone through withdrawal from a drug?

Hello May. Yes. I went through cold turkey for three days to beat my Nurofen Plus addiction. It was very hard but I started to feel a little better but then a problem happened at work and I needed to function. I was in such a mess that I had to take the tablets again just to get some normality. That's why I think that if you have some time and space now, you should tackle it now. You can do this! Don't be afraid to talk to us here xxx Drew

Hi May,

Everyone on this planet has issues of sorts; if they care to admit it. Try not to think about what others think. My Eldest Daughter (28) is marrying a great friend of mine who was a heroin addict. 

He and myself (before my daughter and he got together) would chew the fat often about how judgemental people are. At the time, I was 'the village drunk', he was the Village drugs bad boy. However, we both were making steps to solve our issues, and we both took enorous strength in bothour solidarity and the fact that we had no fear when it came to 'wearing your heart on your sleeve'.

I watched a friend wither and die, riddled with cancer - he was 43 and my immediate next door neighbour - very unfair. Life is way to short to hold back and worry what others think. YOU are important. I know what it is like to have your self esteem shot to ribbons - nature will heal, nature is love and nature will always prevail.

Rich

You should be so proud of yourself, that's great. I'm also worried about what it's doing to my body. If only I knew about the consequences I would never have taken it. But you're proof that it's not too late. Couple of questions: How long did withdrawal last? What was the hardest past when ou quit? Was quitting worth it?

Thank you also, what you said is pretty inspiring

I always wonder why I started, but things happen in life we just learn from them.

The withdrawals for me lasted about 5 days those were the hardest. As everything is at its worst you just have to fight on & tell yourself it's gonna be OK.

I cried for days where I felt so low, at that point I hated myself for getting into this mess as I was the only one to blame.

The hardest thing about quiting is knowing you've got a problem & setting out to do it but trust me it's worth once you come out the other side. Yes it's worth it as your giving your body a break from the abuse & letting your natural rhythm take over. Obviously there's times when I think about it, but then I say to myself is it really worth going through all that pain & money again for what?

Hang in there with some help from doctors & the right weening off the tablets you'll be fine. I had the hardest form of cold turkey & for me it was the only way to suffer to get better, & trust me you do not want to go through withdrawals again.

Matt

Hi again Matt. Do you have any hints or tips for coping with the first five days? I take at least 64 tabs per day so I think it might take longer than 5 days initially. Many thanks Drew xxx

forgive this intrusion:

I went to the Isle of Wight on the Sunday after the Saturday which were going to be my last. I was a regular 32N+ daily. I was hooking up with an ex girlfriend of 30 years ago - perhaps not the most conducive of relaxation, but she knew of my addiction and supported me.

Generally, Days 1 and 2 were ok. Sunday was Day 2, and as the train pulled into Portsmouth, the devil began to work out where I could find a 'Boots'. I won that one.

On the Tuesday, after a morning on the sea fishing, it hit me so damn hard it is indescribable - an utter living hell so I went to bed.

Days 4 and 5 were relatively ok but on Friday, it hit again - but not as bad, and not as long. I think if you remember that 'pangs' 'cravings' or W/D's are ALL  cyclic in their manifestation, they do go away, and if you can hold onto that though, as drenched in sweat as you may be, you will feel better - physically, and mentally.

I recommend eating soup too, and watch out for the runs. On the Saturday, for the first time EVER, I didn't think about N+ at all. So, in my case, 8 days, but I'm giving myself a goal of 21 days to be clean totally - currently I'm on 17.8.

Unfortunately, then with the 5 day episode I just described, upon arriving back here, I was so low, I succumbed to the devil. But, alas, hopefully, NO MORE!!

Rich

Hi Matt,

I do so empathise with your words - when I really felt that I'd broken the back of this vile addiction, I was in floods of tears. 

For the first time in 3 years (and probably going back way before that, though then it was alcohol), I realised I was hiding from a gigantic fear - which has gone.

Can you imagine waking up every day not sure what kind of mood you're going to be in that day? Everyday for decades? Two marriages, my life.

I am so looking forward to the challenges ahead of becoming freelance fulltime in film-making, writing and (hopefully) a semi-professional band - hence the tears, for they were tears of joy, anticipation.

I humbly offer my support to everyone who graces this forum.

Hi

Did you say you take 64 a day?

The first 5 days was pure will power & determination. Make sure you drink plenty of fluids & make sure you have imdouim as you will have the runs! Ignore what your body wants & power through its worth it in the end.

I just sat through all it could throw at me crying,sadness,headaches,cramping, insomia, all round fed up. But once they pass you will feel better each day, trust me!

Hope you can get through it

Matt

Hi Matt,

yes, you heard correctly. It was a steady 16 for a year or so, crept to 32 and the dishonourable pinnacle was 64. Believe me, I was ordered to go to hospital immediately to the Emergency Clinical Ward and underwent a myriad of tests.

For some miraculous reason, I was OK, but it sure gave me the impetus required to address my issue.

My root was depression, and after trying many different SSRI's, I was prescribed mirtazipine and they work extremely well for me. The side effects are that you sleep very well and eat extremely well! 

When I was 'levelled' at 32, I only drank milk, and my weight went down to 9 1/2 stone (I'm over 6 feet), and have put on 10 lbs in 2 weeks. Generally, when I do eat, I always have fresh produce, lots of bananas and oranges, fish - good stuff, but I don't beat myself up if I have say a KFC. I love king Prawns (especially when they're done in chilli and coriander - but joking aside, I was very very close to not being here - I'd suffered a heart attack 3 years ago (30 Jan), 2 stents.

I'd never lie, and always, to my weak minded self that was ruling at the time (Like King Theoden in LOTR 2, under the spell of Grimer Wormtongue), and to me, it was 'always the last 32, the last 32. The strong head is ruling now. Fortunately, I wasn't drinking alcohol (and now I have a choice but choose mainly not to).

Thanks for writing Matt, hope you're ok, write anytime,

Rich

Hi rich

I'm on miztrapine at the moment & they work quite well. I knew I had a problem just didn't wanna face it.

At my worst I was on 20 a day, but I know if I'd continued down that road I'd be in hospital or worse off dead.

It takes a lot of will power & determination to get through it, but only if your willing to quit.

Keep strong & keep me updated! Any questions just ask

Matt

Thank you Matt, and likewise. I've just begun day 19, taking nothing for granted. Keeping really busy really helps me, but I must also remember it's ok to totally stop, take a break, chill and eat too. (That's chiding me by the way)!

Rich