I Wanna Die Because I'm Stupid
Posted , 14 users are following.
I'm 22 and I feel too dumb and incompetent. I've been always good at school when it comes to memorizing,just because I used to study day and night, so I managed to get high grades from elementary school to high school and because school materials didn't require any sort of smartness I was good at it. My friends thought I was smart and treated me like I'm one but after I joined medical school and things got too big for me.I started to feel dumb when I saw my friends,who used to get lower grades than me and don't even study as hard, answer doctors' questions and argue them while I couldn't ,tho I used to study day everyday. I can't remember what I studied,I can't understand what I see,I can't think at all.One day I study for 2 hours trying to memorize the questions to ask a patient to take his history and the next day when I sit in front of him I get my tongue tied and I can't remember a single question.when someone is speaking to me I get a brain block,If he's trying to explain something I just nod my head so that he can finish pretending I understand when I don't. I couldn't even play dominos with my friends because I was too dumb and couldn't keep up with them,they started calling me stupid over and over which increased my feeling of idiocy. Seriously I have an extremely low self-esteem that I avoid talking to someone for along time for fear that he can find out how stupid I am. I don't understand people and I don't get a lot of what I hear whether instructions or explanations and I feel completely useless.I can't imagine myself as a doctor responsible for ppls' lives,I can't be a successful doctor with this stupid brain,I feel like I will have the wrong career before even starting.I am not a social person and because I'm too white for a guy in my country,not albino, I used to get bullied as a kid,even now some of my friends make fun of me and I feel in-confident when I meet someone new thinking he would judge me by my looks even if they don't say it I can feel it in their attitude towards me.I started having suicidal thoughts because what could a stupid imbecile like me add to this world?
3 likes, 19 replies
mary61485 somebody00
Posted
heyy i see this is an old post so I hope youre doing better now but i can completely understand what youre feeling Im in medical school too and going through something very similar to you. ive never felt like I could relate more and i just wanted to check in and see if youre doing better. hope the future brings you better understanding and better times.
joshuapryce1987 somebody00
Posted
You are not stupid, but stupid mentally comes from lack of self awareness and self belief, not necessarily because of bad situations or circumstances, or lack of train of thought. Spiritual evil wants you to think like this, and think you are worthless and hopeless but you can be a gift to this world. You can add value to anyone, you can be somebody. You are unique and special and you need to start believing in yourself and also believe you can achieve, do not help others to help yourself, help others so they can help you. By maintaining good talks and by searching for spiritual dependence and guidance.
r07222 somebody00
Posted
i am at the same position that you were at.
it has been 5 years since you wrote this,
what did you do?
how did you deal with the stupidness?
because I can't
please give advice
sam18386 somebody00
Edited
hi somebody, it's a shame i can't identify with you because I have no name but even so i will still say hi. i don't believe, from what i read that you are stupid. you have no friends because they stick with you through good times and bad...
they care for you when you're struggling. yours don't. don't think of them, care for what you want for once. being a doctor and learning all you have to us tough, just because you can't remember it all doesn't mean your thick. you have to follow your heart, not what anyone else says, give yourself some time, your head some space and some relaxation.... i wish you luck.... let me know how you get on.