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I want to end my life

Posted , 12 users are following.

sam18386
sam18386

As the title says I don't want to live. In physical or mental pain anymore. I have had enough this is too tough. Thanks.

0 likes, 28 replies

28 Replies

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  • luis74497
    luis74497 sam18386

    Posted

    What is going on can you tell me your sysmtoms I can help 
  • SSekouB
    SSekouB sam18386

    Posted

    Please talk.  Please. Let us know what’s going on. There is hope beyond what you’re experiencing. Really, there is. Let’s have a chat. 
  • Guest
    Guest sam18386

    Posted

    Hey Sam.  Please share your story and situation.  I’m interested to see how what your going through parallels with mine.  Maybe we can help each other out.  I got crap going on too.  
  • deb87510
    deb87510 sam18386

    Posted

    Hey Sam talk to us. Like tsea says maybe we are going through the same thing and can support each other. Do you really want to die or is it just the life you are living now that you want to end?
  • mina81739
    mina81739 sam18386

    Posted

    Sam we are here for you. Please tell us what is going on

  • sam18386
    sam18386

    Posted

    Hi people, my life hit rock bottom last night, counsellor was not kind on Thursday, felt very much alone, just don't know what I do anymore if counselling doesn't work. Had too many things go wrong one after the other recently. Sorry just felt so upset last night and sobbed myself to sleep. Just feel like I'm heading towards rock bottom. What happened to all you then?

  • sherri17472
    sherri17472 sam18386

    Posted

    Hi Sam 

    You say you’ve hit rock bottom I’ve been there too it’s horrible but the only way now is up. Tell us what’s going on no matter how long the message is we are all here to listen and no one judges on here. This forum has saved me just listening to other people’s experiences and getting advice we can all get through it together.

    Thinking of you xx

    • sam18386
      sam18386 sherri17472

      Posted

      Hi Sherri, I have felt really up and down since I was really ill six weeks back. It's a long story and I am seeing a counsellor. I have just basically had my life ripped to shreds on Thursday just gone by being told there's no chance of me having a family before seeing my counsellor. My husband then made this worse by then being really funny - not ha ha either by saying how saddened he'd be if we couldn't have a family. He didn't see me come out of my doctors in bits. Having being raped twice the thought of anything to do with me having children has left me completely snapped. To top it off I couldn't say anything about this to counsellor, so everything I said came out wrong. I felt I had absolutely nowhere to turn. It still makes me incredibly sad to think I've let everyone down. I never asked to be raped and yet it has cut through massive amounts of my life. Where do I now turn? I feel if I die then I won't hurt anyone else. I'm so sorry, people on here have really severe problems.

  • sherri17472
    sherri17472 sam18386

    Posted

    Goodness Sam don’t feel bad this is a real problem you shouldn’t feel like your wasting anyone’s time you’ve been through a horrendous and traumatic experience. Does your husband know about the rape? None of this is you fault what’s so ever that’s the first thing you must remember, you are the victim in this and have every good reason to feel this way at the moment. Maybe the way your husband says things has been portrayed in the wrong tense I know my husband is guilty of this (I think it’s man thing) when I was at the depth of my depression which all related around family stuff my husband use to say very unhelpful things we were happy I had a job I loved a healthy child a nice home money why was I depressed “don’t let it bother you” he would say and in reality he just didn’t know how to deal with it. Maybe you could try talking to him tell him exactly how you feel what have you got to loose? Are you on any medication? I know sometimes it’s hard to talk to therapist I think you know instantly if you have a connection with them the first one I saw I didn’t at all and never went back but this time round I have a CPN who has been great and I can tell her anything. 

    I really feel for you at the moment it’s a terrible time for you x

    • sam18386
      sam18386 sherri17472

      Posted

      You kind lady, my husband absolutely understands me, his ex-girlfriend accused him of rape so he's one of the most understanding men I've ever come across. I just feel like I've been told off by my counsellor, she said I say too much, I thought that was the point? I have 1 more session with her then I go on holiday. I think if I continue to see her I will have to tell her exactly what happened on Thursday as it's broken me up. I am so glad someone understands.x

    • sam18386
      sam18386 sherri17472

      Posted

      I don't want to live like this, 2 nights of next to no sleep. I'm exhausted and really fed up!😪😥

  • mina81739
    mina81739 sam18386

    Posted

    Sam please don't give up. Talk to us we are here for you. Please keep going. Take it one day at a time. Praying for you 🙏

    • sam18386
      sam18386

      Posted

      Hi Mina, you people on here kept me going. I have managed to get the backing off my doctor and my counsellor has promised to help me too! Thanks so much.x😊

  • hypercat
    hypercat sam18386

    Posted

    Hi Sam I get it and have been where you are many times.  I have suffered from depression for many years now.  I am not too bad when things are going well but when one problem after another crops up I feel like ending it too.

    This is the situation for me at the moment.  The last straw is I think noisy neighbours might have moved in next door and I can hear them all in the garden getting drunk and very loud.  I can't stand much more of life as it's increasingly becoming a burden I don't want any more.  As I get older my physical ability is getting worse and I seem less able to copd.  

    Sorry this isn't much help to you but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. x

    • sam18386
      sam18386 hypercat

      Posted

      Hi Hypercat, I feel like this because a series of events have bought me to this. The main problem is dealing with rape, it crushing me. My counsellor can't cope I don't think. What on earth else do I do? This doesn't stop hurting.

    • sam18386
      sam18386 hypercat

      Posted

      How do I end my own life. I can't take any more.

    • hypercat
      hypercat sam18386

      Posted

      Hi I can't tell you that I'm afraid and couldn't even if I knew.  Have you contacted your local rape crisis centre?  I don't know where you live but you should have someone you can talk to about the rape.

      I was raped myself over 30 years ago now and it was awful. It is never your fault no matter what you say,  wear,  go etc but always 100% the fault of the rapist.

      Do whatever you need to do to feel safe as this will help.  I am not advocating this but for a year or so I did sleep with a small knife under my pillow.  I also have to leave a light on now even all these years later.  It will calm down over time and you will learn to live with it.

      I just want to reach into the computer and give you a huge big fat hug.  Pm me if I can help in any way.  xx

    • sam18386
      sam18386 hypercat

      Posted

      Hi Hypercat, I have my doctor ringing today because I need to sort my counselling out. Let's see if my doctor reacts!

    • sam18386
      sam18386 hypercat

      Posted

      Hi Hypercat, this is my new counsellor that I've known nearly a year. I feel like she's made things worse. Rape crisis were wonderful, my doctor may have the chance to rerefer me. I hope so anyway. I sleep with a continuous teddy bear. I am going to get my doctor to contact the counsellor but I feel persistently drained so I'll be asking for b12 test.

    • sam18386
      sam18386 hypercat

      Posted

      Hi Hypercat, I have an update after speaking to my doctor, she's going to try every physical test possible to see if it isn't my health that's making me feel depressed. I spoke to her about my counsellor and she told me that my counsellor could feel free to ring her if she wanted. She also backs us up trying to find out about having a family. Then to top today off the counsellor listened intensely to what I said said she'd help and even except my apology for last week (she caught me mid horrendous period from HELL) which I explained and when she was roughly spoken last week which sounded like my mum nagging at me like a kid she even got that. I was stunned. She still definitely needs a sense of humour transplant though, I said I was being a spoil sport and said she couldn't go away for 2 weeks but she didn't even smile, I was joking. She left me a bit irritated. Is she worth returning to?

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