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I want to help someone with depression, what can I do?

Posted , 7 users are following.

grace19965
grace19965

Hi All,

Me and my boyfriend of 3 years recentley broke up, neither of us wanted it but for the last few months I noticed he was down, all the time - could barely get himself out of bed and I tried to take him out keep him busy but it didn't seem to work. Eventually he decided he was being too much of a burden, which obviously I didn't agree with. We have spoken since and he seems to have gotten even worse. I think he may have depression, he's never been very pro-active and I'm worried he won't do anything to help himself. I wanted some advice because I want to do everything that is possible to help him through this - can anyone suggest anything?

2 likes, 24 replies

24 Replies

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  • hypercat
    hypercat grace19965

    Posted

    Hi I am sorry your poor bf is going through this.  When someone is depressed all their thoughts are negative and you believe nothing will help.   You can tell him this and not to trust his own mind as it is currently working against him.  You can assure him that you,  his family and friends  have his best interests at heart and he must trust you to do the best for him.  

    Ask him if he broke his leg wouldn't he seek treatment?  Well this is the same thing only it's his mind which is the problem.  Tell him it doesn't mean he is weak or at fault as depression can strike anyone at random.  It is not a flaw in his personality and it's a sign of strength to seek help.  

    Doctors are very used to dealing with mental health problems and he won't be able to tell them anything they haven't heard before.   x

    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 hypercat

      Posted

      I totally agree with you hypercat, you said exactly what I would have said.

       

    • grace19965
      grace19965 hypercat

      Posted

      Thank you so much for this, I will give this a go and will hopefully be able to help him get help. Thank you for everyone's comments, I've been so lost as to what to do when all I want is for him to be okay.
    • maria_1963
      maria_1963 grace19965

      Posted

      I feel the fact that you understand what he is going through and is sticking with him to help him move forward makes me feel confident that you both will get through this , he will start to enjoy life again , it takes small steps but each step is big in its own way , go together to see his doctor - as a good friend , if your Bf cannot speak to the doctor then you are there to explain what is going on as a onlooker , also it is good that his family and friends understand which also makes me sure he will be okay , try just a short outing - like to local shop and back , then make a few more steps to somewhere a bit further ,all the best to you all xx
    • grace19965
      grace19965 maria_1963

      Posted

      I'm not going to give up on helping him, even though I can feel him pushing me away. Thank you so much for your help, I really hope I can help him.
    • maria_1963
      maria_1963 grace19965

      Posted

      You will - you can feel him push you away but i guess the important thing is not to be in his face too much but to let others take a share so he doesn't feel over powered sometimes - if you get my meaning ? sorry i am not very good at explaining , please keep with him as you are a lovely caring friend to him xx
    • grace19965
      grace19965 maria_1963

      Posted

      Yeah the last thing he needs is an overdose of me! Have spoken to his friends and they said they will keep an eye on him. I'm afraid he's stuck with me smile
    • maria_1963
      maria_1963 grace19965

      Posted

      That is the way - stick with him along his side but let friends also do a little something for him as well :-) , sometimes when a person who is not feeling very happy with life they can find it even more unbearable if they have someone pushing them to get better ( being there 24/7 ) , i get the feeling that you and he will not be like that as you genuinely care for him - maybe just a friend at the moment then things will get back to where you and him will have that Girl Friend , Boy Friend relationship again :-)
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