iat to be back in the Forum

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for 3 1/2 years my life was on the floor and i was paralyzed with accute anxiety and had complex body reactions, this also affected every aspect of my already chronic health issues.

​My life was in the pits and i lived under a very dark cloud that meant there was no difference between day and night for me, it was all dark and all so hopeless, there was little to look forwqard too and no reason for me to be alive, when we are depressed ,sad , and with anxiety we become misunderstood by those we love , family , freinds and this becomes a major drving tool to drive us into a world of isolation and furthers the distress, the professionals even leave us at times in great distress by the way they treat our symtoms and if your anything like me and have attempted to take your life even then no one seemed to really care or want to hug me.

The isolation that comes with anxiety is chronic and i found in my situation the phone stopped ringing, there were no more freinds calling me or visiting my home.

Every day was another day in hell .

​But then i fell into the arms of this FORUM and found others like you who were strangely freinds and an alternative family to me.

​You lifted me up slowly out of my hell, i was able to after a little time able to get up off the floor , slowly but surely you brought me to my knees and then i was able to stand, my mind and head still remained dizzy and often i would feel like i was going to fall back down but no the relief i got from entering this FORUM was like coming home to me, i was finding me in many of you in here, our lives were very simular living with an illness so debilitating and cruel.

​Today it is 6 months later, and I cannot express my sincere joy and gratefullness to those in here -they know who they are who showed me a better way to live , a healthier way to move forward, you showed me how to walk across the mountains and to capture the whole meaning of my life again.

You in fact showed me the road to finding me again.

​Today I can honestly say I do feel alive, i am still with anxiety from time to time but nothing like i was living with for 3 years long.

I have found a reason for living, i am stronger than ever and able to have a greater compassion and understanding of those around me who are in emotional pain , i am able to smile again and even laugh too.

I am actively moving forward in a productive way that will line my future and assure me that this time round I will make an impact on others a posative impact that will not be anything like where i have been.

I am planning to bring those gifts that i have with me since being a child are something that I can finally put into practice and use this time in my life where i can open up and set new goals, to have vision and real clarity of mind as to what i want from my future.

​I am 54 yrs old now , the years have gone by as there were other periods in my past where i lost weeks, months and years out of my precious life due to the distruption of mental health.

​I have come from a life where i would say @i cant and @i wont @ to a whole new world where i am now saying @I Can AND I WILL.

​the future looks brighter so much brighter.

Why am i writing all this today and now.. its to encourage others that have found thier way into this FORUM to really emphasize if it can happen for me it can really also happen to you too.

Things can change, and will always change its up to me how i am going to have that change empower my life.

I am not a victim, I was just so full of sadness, through greif and abandonment, today i am able to let go of my past and every change and every thing for me is all about the now.

Be encouraged that you are in the right place and here for a reason.

​I hope you as I have done find your way and to enjoy the recovery you have now you have made the first major step in identifying what the problem is.

You are HOME here and take it easy on yourself and expect great things to start to happen as you slowly begin to move forward.

Inch by Inch it is a sinch - yard ny yard is so hard.

​So be patient on this journey and you too will come through all that dark clouds that make our lives compecated and with fear.

I did it and you can do it too.

HUGS, Love and great Joy


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39 Replies

  • Posted

    Than you for that inspiring thought. This really is a living hell where the sun doesn't shine. May I ask how did you stop the fear to change your cants into cans???

    Love your story! It teaches all of us that there really is hope and a light at the end of the tunnel.



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    • Posted

      i did this by a simple mind set to decide it was time to sort through what was the truth and what were lies controlling my thought patterns and then to armour myself in peace anfd not fear, to understand that taking control over those defeating thoughts was not a choice it was a priority and to really understand and know my worth .

      ​Loving me is where it starts, no more rejecting me as hopeless, unbearable and so controlled by fear and knowing from deep inside there is a bigger and better plan for my life.

      ​Its with great joy i am coming home to me through the support of some incredibly awesome and amazing individuals that I can call family from entering into this FORUM .

      ​I believe you now have every opportunity to find your way and a better way in your place within this Unique Room which is my emotional, spiritual and warm new abode.

      Many blessing are going to come your way as u begin to see things in a clearer light.

      ​fear will run from the light because the light represents truth and now i can define what is truth and what is is not and those things that bound me and had me believe they belonged to me when in fact they never did.

      May the truth set us all free from the deception that comes while living with anxiety .



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    • Posted

      Thank you!!! :-)I am always working on my thinking and trying not to think I can't. Being house bound and losing my entire life to this awful illness, I am at a point where I am making slow progress. I often feel sorry that I am wasting the healthy body I was given...but I try not to "think" too much.

      Much appreciation!


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  • Posted

    What an encouraging letter, Thank you. I just found this site only yesterday,and I have right away got a feeling I am going to benifit from it. Thank you so much for sharing.
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  • Posted

    Hello Ozzie, It's great to see you back!!  I am so happy and pleased that you are coming through the problems you have encountered over the last few months. I know you will be an inspiration to others here. We all have hope for our lives to improve. Depression and anxiety are crippling and in the midst of It all we still have hope. This forum gives us a safe way to talk or rant whatever. I know you have away from this forum being a great help to others whom are now In a dark place, you are a true friend to others coping with situations. I hope you have found some good friends. I know too that you will help others here now that your back and feeling better. I hope people read this realize we can all fight our demons. You are a kind, inspirational person. I hope your future plans with the business venture really kicks off for you. You have a beautiful heart full of compassion for others. I hope you get stronger each day and that Gods blessings will por on you.


    Elizabeth xxx

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    • Posted




      lOVE YA SO MUCH..



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  • Posted

    Hi ozzie I've been praying for you

    So happy your doing good praise god.

    I'm still going through thanks for your encouraging words.

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    • Posted

      having probs sending messages back to you all. at present

      of course when my new pc decides to co operate i will certainly respond in full to all you lovely gems.

      Peace and Hugs


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  • Posted

    Ozzie, thanks for sharing your story of building yourself back up again. It is nice to hear the good stories too! I look forward to being Me again soon too! Xx Robin
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  • Posted

    Thank you for sharing your story.
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  • Posted

    So glad to see an update FROM you and not about you! So very happy to read that you're doing better and finding joy! I was so touched by your story and disturbed by your situation recently - it is fantastic for you that things aren't so dark. Please know you were in my thoughts and I was sending positivity your way - for whatever that's worth!

    Thanks for finding the time to share your story and your advice. Hugs

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  • Posted

    Blessings to you that you are finding light in the darkness.  My issues & I have a daughter with chronic pain.  She is worse than me & she has a condtion RSD or Regenal Pain Syndrome.  I get down but never thought to end my life.  I am so glad you are doing better.  And yes people go away from you because they don't get it.

    Happy days ahead.

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    • Posted

      thanks for the encouraging message and response to my posting earlier today.

      ​I wish you joy,peace , love for both u and your daughter but most of all I wish you life.

      ​a life of abundance that is yours to claim.


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  • Posted

    Hello I'm suffering from acute anxiety and depression which is becoming worse because of the fact that I cant sleep. My head is fuzzy all the time. I've been on sleeping tablets for 2 weeks and know the doctor wont prescrible them for anymore than 3 weeks. I'm already terrified at the thought of going through no sleep again because all night I lie awake I have suicidal thoughts,  I cant function at all, I cant work, I'm hardly eating.  I cant concentrate, I'm a zombie when I cant sleep, Its an effort even to force myself to talk.  My anti-depressants have been changed recently cos the first ones which I was on for six weeks had no effect at all. Do u  have any more advice how I can get through this nightmare?
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    • Posted

      Sorry to butt in, but perhaps I can help.  I was in the same position as you back in March, April...  I was on citalopram followed by sertraline.  They DID help my anxiety but stopped me sleeping.   After several trials I started augmenting the sertraline with a low dose of mirtazapine because that is often good for sleep. It was a miracle!

      I am now 90% well on that combination.     

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    • Posted

      hI sTRUDE

      ​tHANK YOU FOR OPENING UP TO THE ROOM AND ASKING ME IF I HAVE ANY ADVICE, MY ADVICE IS SIMPLE , IF IT DOESNT WORK TO FIX THE PROBLEMS ASSOCIATED WITH ANXIETY THE WAY YOU WANT IT TOO GO, oops caps sorry will continue anyhow then I can only suggest you give up doing it your way and do it another way, how do you find another way for things to begin the real change you seem to be seeking in your life which feels massively unfullfilled and in the depths of despair , having all these shocking thoughts that want to rob you of that fullfilling and workable daily life,1. STOP be still and just breath , breathing in with deep breaths through your mouth and then holding on to it with your eyes closed to enable you to really focus and not be distracted by all that what is around you and how your head sais you are feeling.

      breath out very slowly , calmer each time through your nose.

      Continue for 5 minutes.

      ​This is a starting point to bring you into the focus u will need for steps into the recovery seat where u can sit in that stillness I found in just sitting with me, no more thoughts about others this time is all about me I would say.

      Nothing else matters in this time but me, me and more me.

      ​After this then know you are in the right position for a mind realignment into a whole new waves of thought pattern, ANXIETY attacks the Mind, the Body and the Soul (sprit within, it wants to destroy every good thing about you.

      ​STEP 2 ... admit  to yourself no matter how rotten you feel how dark or at a loss of knowing reality to what is untrue and doesnt belong to you.

      and know your worth

      ​Understand that you are on earth for a reason, and that your life is a journey that remains unfullfilled, ACCEPT and ADMIT again in your new thought pattern that your life has a purpose and is not without trials and tribulations, know that you are now covered in your Makers great plan for your life.

      ​Our human nature wants us to just RUN and keep running but now you might begin to understand there is no reason to run anymore.

      ​As when we run we hit a brick wall and only become more injured and completely exausted the idea behind what I am sharing with you is to stop be still no more running but instead confront yourself mind , body and spirit, especially the mind to allow the truth to start to fliter through to your thought pattern.

      ​In time your thinking will stabalize ,its not to say you wont have those awful and horrific thoughts that attack you today and have done so for so long now but now there is a difference as you are tuning into the me of your life and starting to get a dribbling of understand who you really can be and this is the road and that journey i only know personally as my Makers choice for me in the journey through life, my life

      ​I am in my head telling myself i want my life back a life of fullness a life of wholesomness and a life that is abundant in everything that belongs to me today and tomorrow.

      ​Know what the lies are and what the truth is, and rest assured the slow process of having the truth on your side from moment to moment , from daya to day ect you will begin to realise u are changing and you are going to become a new person that is as together as we humans can be, you like me will trip up and fall along the way but now slowly but surely we can use all those tools to fix each problem and use our renewing mind that is able to also see what is true and what is a lie.

      ​Anything that is negative and is only bringing you down again is a lie.

      Walk in the trutyh accept that the truth is setting you free, walk into your bathroom wash your face with a hot sponge and then look directly at the man/woman in the mirror and remind yourself you are so much on the right road, say to yourself I AM OK , keep saying it , keep saying it till you actually believe it too, then from there there is a whole other world of words that will become meaningful to you in time , you will as I am today be able to stand at the mirror and look at yourself and even say what I say today, PJ you are awesome, you are amazing , your are so damn beautiful in so many ways and so much worth fighting for.

      No medication even though meds can help to stableize our minds structure can ever do the job we have been given the capacity to do ourselves and it all starts with just me.

      ​No one else, just me and the that lost little frightened , child within me that is about to begin to find all that can transform me into youth and right the way to full adulthood with so much more in our lives.

      ​Never ever give up on yourself, and when your head tells you , your useless and of no worht you now may undertsand and take on board some of the only advice i know to share with you through these moments of coming out from all sickness all that overwhelming pain that has caused us to become isolated inside and from the outside.

      ​Make this your home, make everyone in here ypour family, treat others as you would want them to treat you , and love yourself .

      You have the opportunity for all the above .

      ​I wish you health and the fulness in the meaning of knowing who you are and what you are so worth today


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