iat to be back in the Forum
Posted , 14 users are following.
for 3 1/2 years my life was on the floor and i was paralyzed with accute anxiety and had complex body reactions, this also affected every aspect of my already chronic health issues.
My life was in the pits and i lived under a very dark cloud that meant there was no difference between day and night for me, it was all dark and all so hopeless, there was little to look forwqard too and no reason for me to be alive, when we are depressed ,sad , and with anxiety we become misunderstood by those we love , family , freinds and this becomes a major drving tool to drive us into a world of isolation and furthers the distress, the professionals even leave us at times in great distress by the way they treat our symtoms and if your anything like me and have attempted to take your life even then no one seemed to really care or want to hug me.
The isolation that comes with anxiety is chronic and i found in my situation the phone stopped ringing, there were no more freinds calling me or visiting my home.
Every day was another day in hell .
But then i fell into the arms of this FORUM and found others like you who were strangely freinds and an alternative family to me.
You lifted me up slowly out of my hell, i was able to after a little time able to get up off the floor , slowly but surely you brought me to my knees and then i was able to stand, my mind and head still remained dizzy and often i would feel like i was going to fall back down but no the relief i got from entering this FORUM was like coming home to me, i was finding me in many of you in here, our lives were very simular living with an illness so debilitating and cruel.
Today it is 6 months later, and I cannot express my sincere joy and gratefullness to those in here -they know who they are who showed me a better way to live , a healthier way to move forward, you showed me how to walk across the mountains and to capture the whole meaning of my life again.
You in fact showed me the road to finding me again.
Today I can honestly say I do feel alive, i am still with anxiety from time to time but nothing like i was living with for 3 years long.
I have found a reason for living, i am stronger than ever and able to have a greater compassion and understanding of those around me who are in emotional pain , i am able to smile again and even laugh too.
I am actively moving forward in a productive way that will line my future and assure me that this time round I will make an impact on others a posative impact that will not be anything like where i have been.
I am planning to bring those gifts that i have with me since being a child are something that I can finally put into practice and use this time in my life where i can open up and set new goals, to have vision and real clarity of mind as to what i want from my future.
I am 54 yrs old now , the years have gone by as there were other periods in my past where i lost weeks, months and years out of my precious life due to the distruption of mental health.
I have come from a life where i would say @i cant and @i wont @ to a whole new world where i am now saying @I Can AND I WILL.
the future looks brighter so much brighter.
Why am i writing all this today and now.. its to encourage others that have found thier way into this FORUM to really emphasize if it can happen for me it can really also happen to you too.
Things can change, and will always change its up to me how i am going to have that change empower my life.
I am not a victim, I was just so full of sadness, through greif and abandonment, today i am able to let go of my past and every change and every thing for me is all about the now.
Be encouraged that you are in the right place and here for a reason.
I hope you as I have done find your way and to enjoy the recovery you have now you have made the first major step in identifying what the problem is.
You are HOME here and take it easy on yourself and expect great things to start to happen as you slowly begin to move forward.
Inch by Inch it is a sinch - yard ny yard is so hard.
So be patient on this journey and you too will come through all that dark clouds that make our lives compecated and with fear.
I did it and you can do it too.
HUGS, Love and great Joy
Ozzie
6 likes, 39 replies
mark07626 ozzie1961
Posted
ozzie1961 mark07626
Posted
The answers are inside all of us, it is up to us to decide if we want out or want to remain where we are.
The answer to your comments which sadden me are clear.
Finding the truth , knowing what isbt truth that clouds the mind is the beginning to a healthy , wholesome journey and as we walk that new road that is inside each of us you too can experience the truth which will (not may , not can but will , in fact set your life free.
This is not about how many months and years the anxiety has taken hold over our precious life ,its not a competition either, its about finding our way back to who we really are .
You my dear brother and freind are going to remain in my thoughts and prayers from today .
The truth is you too have the right to a life of abundance and peace, a life that is set apart from anger, emotional trauma and all those ares that cloud our lives and rob us of all our joy.
Hugs
PJ
elizabeth20203 mark07626
Posted
I can say that Ozzie went through hell and has had many battles to get through. He cried out for help on here and received help that the authorities wouldn't give him.
The answer Is within ourselves. I hope you to can find the way forward, I am not saying that there Is a cure, we will still have to fight these demons, but there are not at the surface anymore.
Stay here with this forum, we will help you.
Best wishes.
Elizabeth.
mark07626 elizabeth20203
Posted
Any way I'm sorry if I affended any of you I really I'm. God bless to all
ozzie1961 mark07626
Posted
it was great to hear back from you my brother and friend in Anxiety.
it was also awesome that you stopped for a moment and instead of writing to me in anger you wrote with e hart and spirit of gratefulness and even in doing this we dont realise that we have done something that is for real and honest with ourselves and this all counts in bringing our rotten situation to a turning point from that time onwards.
I was not offended by your comments , I read them with compassion and i felt your pain for a moment and this is not a bad thing at all.
We are all in the same boat as you shared in this latest message and your so right it doesnt matter whether it is for one day or many days where we experience the devil within us.,if i may call it that,lol.
having some sanity back is to also have some reality back and some independance away from all that had bound my life and kept me crippled in emotional pain and constant daily trauma.
Just when you think its the end of the world there are people out here in this world who actually will walk into your path and teach you as they do me daily to try things a different way, change is not an easy thing to accept as you say in your message it looks like relationship number 3 is not going far and may fail again.
I can only suggest that you give yourself time out from having relationships and the only relationship could be just with Mark and no one else.
Anxiety is like a virus and we will carry it with us wherever we go, we cannot run away from it nor try to cover it up , it needs to be worked on and not ignored otherwise we really do have the potential too pass it on to those we seek refuge from especially family and freinds that really mean so much to us.
Our heads cloud all that value and importance out and we cannot see how it effects others while we are challneged with such a disability of the mind, body and soul (spirit).
Be strong my freind and keep taking little steps and fight for your right to be free from the whole issue of anxiety, only you can do the fighting it is others that can give you the ammunition and the weapons to defeat the demon which Anxiety really is
Hugs in your recovery mate
have to jump off the train right now
PJ
ozzie1961 elizabeth20203
Posted
I ask myself why should i wait a moment longer to find my way out of the space that i find myself in that makes everything about me hopeless and with no real reason.
Its people like Elizabeth helped me to find that reason for life.
I wish all in here life and a life that is fullfilling and ever abundant.
It belongs to you Mark as much as it belongs to Elizabeth and I too.
Hugs Brother
PJ
elizabeth20203 mark07626
Posted
I know Ozzie Is privetely helping someone right now on this forum, someone we both know. He Is very expressive and genuine with his words. I have cried and prayed for him when not so long back, I thought things couldn't get any worse for him. He has come through this and Is now helping others. Prayer really does help. Treasure the many people In your life and know that you are one of them.
Hugs
Bless you Mark
ozzie1961 elizabeth20203
Posted
you never dissapoint , even when you are suffering your compassion shines, your an amazing STAR , a Unique Human Being that is in this world for a very good reason.
Your advice and words to Mark are no different to the same experience I had in meeting you and making a rock fast meaningful and genuine relationship that is uplifting and real.
Where would I be without what you have indeed given me up too now.
mark take my advice and use what you have heard through the words of a lovely lady that knows where u are at and how it feels.
This is what this Forum room is all about.
Hugs and Gratitude is all ours when we enter into this safe zone that is equipped with all the tools to work our way from the darkness into the light which belongs to truth.
Be free to fly in your life journey.
Be free from all that fear that has held u back and you will indeed be in a position to fly to the freedom you have yearned for .
It belongs to you Mark, it belongs to Elizabeth and yes it belongs to me too.
PJ
elizabeth20203 ozzie1961
Posted
Sweet dreams of the positive kind
Hugs xx
Elizabeth
ozzie1961 elizabeth20203
Posted
Your all simply awesome and so damn unique how can I but not love you all as a group and as individuals who have given me the tools to walk through every dark moment and come out into a whole new world where the light is so much brighter and where i was blinded by the dark I can now see through the llight that surrounds me from every angle.
There is Hope for all of us and so many more.
Nite Nite
PJ
zee27894 ozzie1961
Posted
Your are a hope of us I was suffering from anxiety and depression for nearly one year it is dark place I never felt this way before I start having panic attacks but I control panic attacks now but nagetive thoughts some time can't control but after read your story I have positive thoughts that one day this darkness will over and we start enjoy our life's again
ozzie1961 zee27894
Posted
The mind is a instrument that belongs to us all, no amount of medication or pills will ever bring us the full recovery we all hope for what makes the difference is me , making a choice to want out of the pain that comes with Anxiety, taking away the sadness and all that Isolation and finding the courage to take those first few steps of knowing what it is to have a mind of peace and clarity , trust me what I have today belongs to you Zee , i know understand my worth and as i get through each issue one step at a time clarity will come, those dark black clouds begin to disperse and we can continue to move forward one step at a time, and in the journey to recovery we have a world of opportunity then to use those tools and thought waves that are now not all doom and gloom and lies , but positive, life building thoughts we can reach out to others and make a real impact on each other , living with anxiety doesnt have to be all bad it can teach us that life isnt all a bed of roses but challenging as well.
No ones life is a perfect life , but it can truly be so much better when we find those answers that lay dormant within our suffering bodies n soul.
Hugs and real Joy n peace be yours from today as you start your own journey into recovery .
Your valued and worth it all Zee
PJ
zee27894 ozzie1961
Posted
Thanks so much for positive words I have not good day today my mum past away few weeks ago I missing her so much to I felt really down no hope I can only feel pain today but read your post gives me hope again that one day I can feel better and I can come out from this dark place thanks so much for your help and support
ozzie1961 zee27894
Posted
I am so so sorry for the loss of your mum, I cannot imagine how you must be feeling right now, the loss of a mother or father is immensely painful i am sure of that .
Especially if the passing is out of the blue and unexpected.
I am praying for you at this moment as I type and if i could make you feel better i would .
But there are no words to describe what you are dealing with right now.
may you be comforted in knowing your mum has gone from this one life we are given and moved into the realms of what I call eternal life where pain, and sickness doesnt exist anymore.
Its so awesome to imagine but when i look out to the slies above on a clear day I begin to get a little understanding of How great God really is .
I cannot deny in times like this I do turn to Him for comfort and its nothing out of the ordinary that He sends His precious Angels of peace to surround us , and to protect and comfort us in our greif.
There is nothing more natural that dying , its one of the few things that we are all going to have to face whether we like it or not, nothing is eternal on this earth, nothing at all, our home is destined to be out there in the universe of skies above.
How great a thought it is to know that all is now well with your mum as she begins her new journey out there .
I am here for you at anytime sweet and precious Zee, if i am online then I am all yours to pour out your aching soul.
Be comforted by the thought that your mum was a major part of your life and it was through her you were born into this temporary life a life she wants you to live in abundance and to have all your dreams come true.
may you feel and know that you are blessed and be encouraged that all is well with your loving mum.
With Love and an open hand
PJ
zee27894 ozzie1961
Posted
It's true no one can replace mother it's really hard time for me I am mother of 4 kid's so there sake I have to be strong
ozzie1961 zee27894
Posted
Hugs
Have a Wonderful Day..
Pj