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Im alone and wondering what other people do in the same situation

Posted , 15 users are following.

juliatnr
juliatnr

HI, I am alone and have pretty much done this alone since after the first week.  I am very bored and cant wait until I can drive again.  I watch tv, play with my dogs,  read magazines, of course do therapy.  Anyone have any ideas what I could do so as not to be so lonely?  I really use this site to ease the lonliness. If it werent for my therapist I think I would have gone insane.  I wont be "released" by my surgeon until Dec 8th. 

3 likes, 43 replies

43 Replies

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  • anita78925
    anita78925 juliatnr

    Posted

    hi julia...anita here ....I live in the boston area...you are wise to acknowledge when you need help ...you are not alone....this forum has been so helpful since my august tkr......so thankful for the new found friends ...filled with genuine concern
  • Tucks
    Tucks juliatnr

    Posted

    Hi there, not much fun being on your own after this op .meloncholy soon steps In and the tears won't stop. I am 82 and now 15weeks. I found I could not concentrate on anything, TV,reading, nothing did it for me. I was cursing myself daily for having the op done. When you live alone you have to cope the best way you can, the pain does ease, and the sleeping does get easier .i can drive again and noproblem going to the shops and doing short walks weather permitting. I have been doing my own house work all along I had help from my daughter in law with food for the first 2weeks, since then I have coped. You will find things will get easier, and you will have lots of days when your back to square one. Try to take each day as it comes and set yourself little goals to achieve.. Best of luck my freind with your healing.from tucks 
  • Oldfatguy1
    Oldfatguy1 juliatnr

    Posted

    As has been discussed by many, the mental side of this surgery is the thing that docs never bring up. I don't know if its just lack of information or that they know it will pass in a few weeks and just aren't concerned. I work crossword puzzles as a way to keep the brain active. Others do soduko but that isn't my thing. I stayed away from politics or I would have wound up breaking things and it just makes me  more tense and angry which you don't need when you are trying to heal. Be sure and get in a couple of short naps daily. I think this time of year can be a little unnerving, everyone around you is gearing up for rgw holidays and you just aren't up to thinking about it right now so you have to mentally tune it out a bit. This isn't much help but I think we have all been through it to some degree. Hang in there, it will get better with time.
    • Tucks
      Tucks Oldfatguy1

      Posted

      Old fat guy you are so wise and your words so true. I get very tense and bad tempered and want to throw something, anywhere at any thing. Then when I go to bed I want to cry. Not much fun is it? But maybe Santa will bring us some joy keep well tucks
  • sandra37762
    sandra37762 juliatnr

    Posted

    I find the emotional side of this surgery hard too. I have been moody, teary and irritable!!! My poor husband. I am.luckier than you Julia in that I am not living alone. It must be difficult for you especially with your husband deployed. Are there other military wives you can contact? I also font think.it matters where we come from.on this forum. I am from Australia. A TKR is a TKR no matter where you have it, even though there are screw different ways it might be done. Hope you find some comfort Julia. This forum is great! Always someone to ask things if you want to know something.
  • liz34614
    liz34614 juliatnr

    Posted

    I think it's great that we have so many different countries joining in and it is very interesting to see how treatment differs, although actually it's quite reassuring to see that it doesn't differ that much,  If Canada, the U.S. Australia and the UK are doing much the same thing, it seems that this really is the best treatment on offer. Julia, if your husband is deployed, you should be able to call on the military for support, I am sure they have a visiting support staff for wives.  

     

    • Annodoremouse
      Annodoremouse liz34614

      Posted

      I have been very lucky my surgeon in Newcastle UK only deals with knees and lower limb injuries It has meat that ive been able to get going sooner.

      Look online for activities in your area, (Youth clubs for the elderly) Things where you could get a taxi to. Push yourself to do things 

      Take care

  • betty07083
    betty07083 juliatnr

    Posted

    Hi Julia,

    Just checking in to see how you are doing. I'm curious, where in the US are you located? I'm also here, in California.

    Hope you are doing better - it's a roller coaster journey, to be sure! 

    Take care & keep in touch, Betty (almost 18 weeks)

    • juliatnr
      juliatnr betty07083

      Posted

      i am in tx.  i just 4 weeks. but seem like 6 months. if i could sleep this would  a lot easier.  thanks for checking on me.  when does the pain lessen enough to sleep?
    • sandra37762
      sandra37762 juliatnr

      Posted

      I have just started sleeping better at 5 weeks after my second. (9 weeks after first) I was going around the twist not sleeping and not getting comfy. Got some antihistamine sleeping tabs from chemist but only used them twice. What made me able to sleep was being able to get on my tummy like I always sleep. So much better! I expect I will still have bad nights though, but it's nice to get s good night's sleep.
    • Oldfatguy1
      Oldfatguy1 juliatnr

      Posted

      Julia... You are still a little early for a nights rest. Make sure you have medicated, iced and possibly put a small pillow or folded large bath towel between your knees. I was weeks before I could settle down for most of the night. Granted, my case isn't text book because of a lot of added attractions but I still don't let the 2 knees rub or that's the end of my sleep. Have you been able to contact any of the military social welfare people about your situation. I live about 45 mins from Ft. Leavenworth and I know if they have an internal section for helping spouses of deployed GIs. Same for Ft. Riley. If you wish, I think you can send me an email by hitting the email icon by my name and maybe I can help w/some additional resources on a more personalized baais
    • betty07083
      betty07083

      Posted

      Hi Julia,

      We are all different, as I slept better than ever the first few weeks after the op. Maybe because I slept in the downstairs guest room by myself. After going back up to the master bedroom with my husband, all my bad sleep habits came back ( I'm not blaming my husband - don't get me wrong, ha) but after 18 weeks I'm getting pain in my TKR knee at night now, which I did not have before! 

      I'm feeling very discouraged at these new pains I'm having, but that's another topic. I just wanted to say that we are all different and no set time when you might start sleeping better.

      Old fat guy has some great advice for you! 

      Take care Julia

  • Annodoremouse
    Annodoremouse juliatnr

    Posted

    My husband went to 'work' 3 weeks after I had my op Work was in Guardeloupe 

    I had my kitchen set out to reach everything

    To avoid boredom I used social media especially twitter. Planning the day out making sure meals were properly prepared and set out (a chair in the kitchen helped) fitted in physio but aking it further than planned.

    I started driving after 5 weeks (automatic car using 2 feet) Now Im doing almost everything I did before and Im extending my walks

    Texting & chatting on the phone

     Facebook has gamed and jigsaws free Ive used them 

  • brenles
    brenles juliatnr

    Posted

    Hi, I'm sad to read about your life right now. I prefer to stay alone. I knit, read, and work word puzzles. Also, I play brain games on my laptop.  And there is always a bit of housework to do. It's winter now, so I can't work in my garden. I have social anxiety, which is paralyzing. The thing to do is to find a way to be busy. Over here in the States, we call that anxious, cooped up feeling "cabin fever."  The good news is you are getting closer to December 8th with every passing day.  What about calling a friend or relative and chat.  Over here, people rely on social media, and that is not the same as human contact.  I wish you the best.
  • joansgarden
    joansgarden juliatnr

    Posted

    Hi Julia,

    I have been borrowing audiobooks from the library ( all done online) and find that if I get one that grips me, the hours go pretty fast. I am 2 weeks post-op and I must have listened to 10 books in the last 2 weeks. And while I listen I knit. Of course that only works for me because I am a knitter and love to do it. I've finished a shawl over the last 2 weeks too. After my visit to physio today with no improvement in the amount of bend, I've decided that I need to walk and walk and walk. So that will fill in some time too.

    I am in Oregon and in fact joined this forum because I couldn't find anything comparible in the US. I figure we are all going through the same healing process and will have the same questions and problems. Besides, I am Australian and I sort of feel at home with you Brits smile

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