Im at absolute rock bottom

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Hi all

Im 48 yr old male. I work as a porter in a private school and about 8 wks ago ay work i hurt my back. A week or so later a growth occured at the bottom of my spine with a swelling of my lymph nodes at the side of my groin area. At this same time my wife who is a hair dresser noticed a bald spot about the size of a 10 pence piece at the back of my head. After just losing a life long friend with lung cancer paranoia set in and believed i was next. My wife decided we needed to see someone quickly. She (Debbie) took me to the gp unit in Accrington lancs. The doctor told me that the lump on my back was a cyst and the lymph nodes swellings were connected so i was treated with antibiotics. Fortunately the cyst disappeared and the lymph nodes swelling went down. What has happened since though is that the bold patches have now occured all over. The doctor says its just alopecia. Im absolutely gutted by my appearance especially having to work in a school environment. Could anyone put an explanation with my cyst and the lymph nodes or is it just coincidental. By the way i sympathise with any one with alopecia especially knowing what impact it can have on your life; even affecting my relationship with Debbie my wife as i am losing all confidence that i had. I wont even go out to socialise anymore its as though ive aged years in just these few weeks. Up to a few weeks ago i trained in weights and running 4 to 5 nights a week and now nothing because my confidence has been destroyed. I apologise for my long drawn out explanation. Would love any explanation or advise on remedies linked with the prognosis 😔

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    Sorry to hear of your problems.I too work in an environment where you don`t want to have alopecia-retail.I wear a beenie hat as much as possible to hide it and give myself more confidence,but agree it sucks.It has hammered my social life and relatives don`t understand how it makes you feel.You`re not alone.
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    • Posted

      Hi Clive

      Thanks for sharing your same dilemma and i synthasise with you for the obvious and more importantly it makes me realise more so that we are not alone. Ya know there are people out there with serious illnesses and we bother about some hair loss; it sounds crazy and selfish. The fact is though we and i sincerely hope yourself too live healthy lifestyles and you think we are not complete with carrying this stigma around with us because we are aware that other people wont ask you directly what is wrong with you but just give funny looks. Hey Clive hope you dont mind me asking but how old are you buddy. Are you with wife and children ?

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    • Posted

      Hi Clive

      Again just to continue where i left off; if i do find a cure i will 100 per cent share it with you pal

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  • Posted

    40 and single and otherwise healthy!Found that colleagues are great about it when you tell them,it` a pain with strangers though.
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    • Posted

      Lol know what you mean clive. Do you think you are single just because of the alopecia or is it through other circumstances. Please i am not trying to be intrusive at all just trying to gain a picture of you. In fact how long have you suffèred with alopecia Clive

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    • Posted

      Have had alpecia on and off for about fifteen years.Sooner someone comes up with a permanent cure the better!It certainly dosen`t give you confidence to date someone,as you don`t know how they would handle it,as it can be much better,or much worse from time to time.It`s a very unpredictable condition.
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    • Posted

      Clive and John,am really sorry about your problem,just like you too,i can understand how you guys feel,Iam patricia and i have been with it for 5 years 4 years now and am telling you my whole life just stopped,no one knows i have it apart from my closet family members.i never go out because even with a weave on head,still my confidence and joy vanished,iam still looking for answers though and if anything then i will let you 2 know about it,untill then you just have to have that one day it will all be over and also hang in there onto the inside because usually when all hope is lost,there must be a tiny bit of it lying beneath as we hope for the best. Be strong you are not alone in this and lets have hope.Am 30 by the way and single but out will
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    • Posted

      Thankyou patricia 94371 ifor your kind words and im sure you will meet someone soon who will understand your problem. I say problem but its only ourselves who call it a problem ☺
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  • Posted

    Hello john, im 19 and had alopecia for a year now, very random never experienced it before anyway, it was after my first car accident and i twinged my back during this then hurt it again playing rugby and about 3 months later i noticed a bold patch on side of my head 2 really small 5p spots and i thought nothing of it really anyway couple of months and they grew together and quite big but on one side which was not the best but i didnt mind. Now unfortunately though after about 3 months of it being just one side it went around the back and every where, i try to wear hats as much as possible or keep it shaven but just gets to you sometimes. Anyway im pretty sure its got something to do we some nerves in my back running up to my scalp as i still have the back pain now. I am getting quite abit of regrowth though but very slow.
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