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In love with an anxiety sufferer

Posted , 7 users are following.

Nickandjan
Nickandjan

My fiancee suffers acute anxiety as a result of childhood mental abuse. When an issue arises it drags with it every preceding issue leading to a major problem. Not being as good as I could be I sometimes cause these issues by thoughtlessness etc. What is the best course of action for us both when these problems arise. I would be heartbroken to lose her.

0 likes, 22 replies

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  • jay67544
    jay67544 Nickandjan

    Posted

    Engage and understand her position. Has she sought help for the past issues?

    Id imagine its easy to overlook some things in your position as you havent gone through the issues she has - so dont kick yourself over it. But equally - maybe ask her how else can you help her?

    • Nickandjan
      Nickandjan jay67544

      Posted

      Yes, she has been having help with her issues for some time now. I find that anything that happens in the now is magnified through the lens of the past and becomes a much bigger issue than it really need be.
  • lynne82155
    lynne82155 Nickandjan

    Posted

    Is she on medication?
    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 Nickandjan

      Posted

      Dont force it its not even a cure and then she has to go through withdrawals. They dont work forever. Better she learns about it and battles it. She will have to either way. Understand her core is not like yours. Her foundation of life is not a solid one thats why it contines on thru her life. When her mind surfs to locate a coping mechanism for a situation her memories and experiences are not positive so the coping skills are poor or fair at best. Each life experience we have is built upon another, so even if one is faulty life still goes on adding another layer uoon layer and so on. This is why i say the one true thing you can ever provide to her is compassion. Absolutely she needs to learn self calming techniques and go through therapy to readjust her poor past coping mechanism or at least recognize them.
  • lynne82155
    lynne82155 Nickandjan

    Posted

    Sorry my computer is having a paddy!!!!

    Meds are not for everyone and it is great she has your support.

    Cosider therapy it teaches you how to cope with anxiety its not a cure

    Exercise meditation a good diet drink plenty water are all good.

    Take care of her and stay strong both of youcool

     

  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 Nickandjan

    Posted

    Compassion. Anyone with an anxiety disorder is a bright, loving, sincere person. Very aware of their bodies and most likely will be very aware of your needs as well. Learn mindfullness and then you can help her a ton. Compassion is the answer to your question. 
  • Guest
    Guest Nickandjan

    Posted

    has she explained exactly what she is going through?

    does she have a therapist or a counsellor or someone who is trained to help?

    • Nickandjan
      Nickandjan Guest

      Posted

      Yes. She goes to group every week. Yes in some ways
    • Guest
      Guest Nickandjan

      Posted

      that's good, maybe you should consider going with her to show support?
    • Nickandjan
      Nickandjan Guest

      Posted

      I'm not allowed in. It's a group session by referral only, but I do take her and collect her
    • Guest
      Guest Nickandjan

      Posted

      well it seems like you're doing a lot to help as it is, it seems like you're a very supportive partner. 

      maybe you can find a group or a therapist to help you help your partner better and understand her more, right?

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