Inquiry into Scar Tissue after Hemorrhoidectomy Complications

I had the most excruciating expirience with an impaction that began with unholy pain, pouring sweat, vomiting, and screaming. It lasted about 30 min. of me manually evacuating the problem followed by me crying in an Epsom salt bath.

I had a hemorrhoidectomy about three weeks ago (never have this surgery at all costs) and I will regret it for the rest of my life. The surgeon removed two internal hemorrhoids, but the sutures I guess left this giant skin tag after the surgery. The next week took a turn for the worse when my internal sutures ruptured and I began hemorrhaging an emense amount of blood. Still have no idea how this happened as I followed all post-opp procedures to the letter. After a few units of blood and a bit of emergency surgery I was released the next morning. Thankfully this surgeon removed that large skin tag the first one left behind which caused a lot of discomfort So the whole cycle of pain began again and I reassumed the regiment of stool softeners, Percocet, regular sitz baths, controlled dieting, and constant ice packs. All I wanted was just a mildly annoying internal hemorrhoid that would not go away gone and I'm left with purple, unsilghtly anus with stiching that of Frankenstein. A week after the hemeroage scare things were getting better. The blood and mucal discharge had subsided and I was finally able to stop wearing menstrual pad (being a man I first had to figure out how to properly put these on and my heart goes out to women) but the pain was still crippling so I continued with the pain killers. I of course ran out a couple of days and had thought nothing of it since I previously had a few yet painful but successful bowel movements. This was a terrible lapse of judgment. I had no idea what the hell was going on when I went to use the bathroom. The pain was instant and that pressure on the sphincter was as if I was passing a bowling ball. After a bit of pushing and screaming agony I called my GI's office in a panic to inquire what was happening and the nurse told me I most likely had an impaction. Thankfully I had a hot Epsom salt bath prepared as is normal following a BM after this procedure because jumping in it was the only brief relief that gave me the constitution to talk to the nurse. She said this one is probably quite severe and my pre existing swelling made matters worse. She instructed me to find any lubricant within reach as I was home alone (all I had was polysporin) and worked me through manually removing the impaction little by little. Once the initial impaction was removed everything else behind it came flying out. It was such an amazing relief but left my anus sore and swollen as if I just came out of surgery. The nurse calmed me down a bit and told me to stay in the tub for a while then follow the usual cleaning and application of a steroid ointment for the inherent damage that had been done. When I was finally able to clean myself and the mess to the best of my ability I crawled to my bed unable to move. I called my sister who thankfully is a nurse and she promptly rushed over to my aid. After preparing an ice pack, and a couple Xanax she monitored my minor bleeding until it finally stopped.

So I'm writing this two days after the whole ordeal as I'm finally able to sit up again and I apologize for the long story but I just had to get this horrible expirience out somewhere. I'm back on the stool softeners, sitz baths, Proctozone ointment (which is just a prescription hydrocortisone cream), dieting, and regular ice packs. No more with the pain medication though, I don't care how bad it hurts now I will never go through that again.

I'm in constant panic that all this may have damaged my anus so much so that I will develop stenosis and be reliant on stool softeners for life or worse undergo more surgery. I'm only 22, and I'm also afraid my sex life is over or that my partner of five, going on six years, will find my destroyed anus grotesque. He's currently been out of town on business for the month this has all happened but after the second surgery he promptly flew home to stay with me a few days before he had to go back. He's been extremly comforting and supportive of this whole thing, checking on me constantly everyday since the first procedure which was just supposed to be a simple outpatient procedure. He's very understanding of all that's had been done to me and has never been "grossed out" by any of the details; only concerned for my comfort and recovery. He has yet to actually see the exent of the damage thought. But I don't know if it's just my insecurities of being a hideous mess who dies sad and alone eating at me but I'm just so afraid my condition may drive him away somehow.

Is there anything else I can do other than what I'm already doing to prevent/heal the scar tissue or is my fear of stenosis just unneeded panic? My clinic says not to worry but they said the same after my initial procedure leading me to distrust them. I'm kind of at my wits end here and any advice or wisdom is greatly appreciated.

Kind Regards,

Drew

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