Insomnia??

So after i messaged you around 4 am I actually fell back asleep at 6-8!! I was so happy. I honestly think my adrenalyn was out of control with fear this weekend and of course Prozac causes it too. but i was happy i got some rest! 

so this time i got to see my General Doctor. He went over my record and and was so nice and tried to reassure me that these things take time and can be very difficult. he said "you came out of this before and it will happen again so think about that!" same thing my sister and bf say. of course i want to believe them and part of me does but when your in it its soooooooo hard. I asked about my vertigo so he checked my ears and nothing! so he says its most likely stress/anxiety induced. Told me meds can take a long time to work but that prozac is a very safe drug. He saw that my psych wanted to up it 30 so he took it upon himself to do it himself. he said "im gonna order a a new bottle of prozac only 10 mg so take that with your 20 and see how you feel" trazadone wasnt quite ready so ill get that later. And bless his heart he extended my time off work till jan 15th! work is gonna be p****d but i need it. I was so thankful. i am running out of vacation time so i am gonna have to file for my disability now which sucks cus they only pay 50% of my income. but at least i was smart enough to pay into STD most of the other girls do not (i'm a kinder teacher).  i was hoping i wouldnt have to but this episode is lagging. ok days then bad days ok days then bad days. Last time it took 3 whole months but i wont compare anymore i just need to let it be what it is. so i will start the 30mg. im so scared!!!!! lol. but Dom i have to take advantage of doc giving me a few more weeks off. so. im gonna put my big girl pants and do it. at least i have xanax. gonna try to not take so much today so that if i truly need it in the next few weeks i can take more. i figure since xanax is .25mg i can take 2 or 3 and it wont even equal to 1 mg. but like i said i dont care how much i take these days. whateber helps me get to the finish line or at least close to it. 

so so far i took one and a half xanax after doc appt. went to walmart (like a sainsbury) loaded up and came home. it wasnt too bad but i was tired and dizzy. 

how are you? is it almost bed time? are you gonna do the 30mg if you can?

Oh also I’m way to freaked out to start the 30mgs today woth the way I feel. Gods way of saying not to? Or his way of saying do it to feel better? Guess I’ll habe to make a decision sometime. Ugh. 

Ugh dom, 

I am feeling not great this morning. Yesterday went good shopping then friend came over to listen to those anxiety CDs. I started to feel weird and anxious and nauseous. Well woke up this morning with same feeling and dizzy. 

I just don’t even wanna get out of bed to take my meds. I hate this feeling. It’s like day 33. I’m trying to pin point what’s stressing me out. Maybe showing my dork my latest time off note? Idk. 

I’m glad you sounded better today!! Also would you rather take the whole diazepam? 

I slept but not well. At all

No New Years plans yet. If I do it will be super relaxed. My poor bf has driven here so much I think he’s tired of driving (he’s an hour away). But he’ll come tomorrow after my last work stress class. 

Yes I’m thankful for time off. I officially have to apply my short term disability. Maybe that’s why I’m habing s rough morning. 

Dom why must we have these days? 

So

Sorry I’m not in better spirits. 

Also

You def need to post a prozac food list!!

What are your New Years plans? Seeing your gf? 

Hello Tina,

Hey that's what we are all here for. If you are having a lousy day I want to know just as much as if you had a good one. Did you feel anxious with your friend there at all? I've kind of hibernated since getting ill and it will just be me and my scruffs on New Year's Eve. I'm high up so I'll watch other people's fireworks in the distance. I think sleep is key. How much did you get? What did you take for it? I used the least amount of meds so far last night and I have worked today (maths) which I normally cannot concentrate on so something is changing. Stress has replaced anxiety for me. Really weird. I feel wired. Today is day 35 so it shows how quickly things can improve even if only temporarily. I can definitely feel the Prozac working a bit today, but I still have insomnia, and just a few days ago I had my worst day ever. This is one rollercoaster!

You have had a far more hectic time than me, so you'll have additional anxiety. I think you were so brave to do all those Christmas visits. I could not have done them. That's a fact.

Have you upped your dose? What about the Trazodone? Are you able to have a few days away from everyone, or would that not help? I know we're all different on that one.

You know what? Everything passes. And how you're feeling today will pass. Fight through today and let's both be hopeful for tomorrow.

Dom x

I spoke to soon. The anxiety is now creeping back. Still, I had a brief moment with a glimpse of sunshine. Has to be a good sign. Have you seen any good signs lately Tina?

Oh Dom, 

so thankful i have you to chat with about this ridiculous roller coaster. 

my biggest struggle is my equal librium. my doctor yesterday was so kind and sweet and was so supportive. my blood pressure, oxygen , heart, all came back normal!!!! even though i was short of breath in doctors office! i guess that speaks volumes to how bad anxiety can induce everything. I even had him check my ears for vertgio (he would be able to see any fallen crystals i guess) but NOPE nothing!!!! but thats one of my biggest side effects right now! i just dont get it. I even asked the pharmacist "is it normal to feel vertigo on prozac" and she said "no prozac doesnt generally cause that" awesome. so either im 1 out of a million or my anxiety is just that bad. 

yes when my friend came over last night i started to feel anxious when we listened to our anxiety CDs. I shouldnt have gone grocery shopping and had my friend over. I read up on how to have positive self talk but so hard when you feel so crumby.

I was too frightened to take the extra 10mg. lol. such a scardy cat. I just dont have the gift of time so it all scares me. but my doctor put in the order for traz so tomorrow at my last work stress therapy im gonna pick it up. i do feel a bit better having the traz on hand if im gonna up the prozac. and its only 10 more mg what am i so afraid of?? everything!!! feeling like s**t! nauseous. i already lost my apetite the first time around. the compliments are nice but not exactly the healthiest way.

sometimes i wish i could do as you and shut everyone out except my sister. i am terrified my boyfriend is gonna give up on me and when he comes over i have anxiety cuz how bad i feel for feeling this way. 

did i tell you the doc extended my work time off? ya i think i did. but today i called my HR lady. she said i have 89 hours of vacation (but because doc extended me through christmas work didnt give me free holiday pay! such losers!) so ill officially be done with vacation time january 10th. so i emailed my doc today asking (without sounding depserate) if i could apply for my Short Term Disability. lets pray he is going to do it. i dont have another choice. 

so your spending new years alone? gosh doesnt sound too bad if you have your dogs. but still i get uneasy alone at night. 

I know you getting better oddly cuz of the ups and downs. so keep treckin along. we just need to find the right match and we need time. 

what time is it there? might be why your anxiety crept again.

Hello Tina,

Hey I'm glad to have you too. It's a monster this Prozac lark! I hyaven't had any vertigo tho' I had a few dizzy/feint spells in first week or two.

Hey maybe you just pushed yourself too hard. I really am avoiding people at the moment. Some old friends turned up out of the blue and I just told them I was experiencing mental health issues and couldn't chat. Oh the embarassment (looking back - I just felt anxious at the time).

Hey I don't blame you not taking the extra. I have a stockpile if I want to go up to 40mg, but I will wait for the Trazodone too. Upping might make the insomnia worse mightn't it. But then again it might make it better. Damn, some expert should write a book on it.

You're off until the 15th aren't you? One way or another? I'm sure your doc will look on it kindly as there can't be many things worse than going on Prozac if you get side effects like a lot of us here have had.

Yeah weird day. Prozac taken at 6am takes until 2pm to be fully available in blood so I guess that's the explanation. Previous day's has gone back down when you wake up, then you peak after the Prozac peaks so I feel better in the afternoons. Really need to take it later.

My NYE is sad quite frankly. The people I knew here have moved and my GF made other plans as I said I needed to be alone but regret is creeping in. I plan to move somewhere more lively when I am well. It is quite remote up here. I wouldn't ever recommend moving to the countryside

Wow, it's 20:30. I guess for this time of night I don't feel too bad. What time is it there and how do you feel right now? Wish I felt sleepy

 

Please don't judge my math skills but whats 20:30? is that 8:30 pm? its 1pm in the afternoon here in good ole California. you make a good point about timing. today i took Prozac at 7. wonder if that's too early. so hard for me to take it at 8 cuz i wake up so early.but who knows. everyones body is so different. I want to trust prozac and i dont want to switch. I want to at least give it 2 months. but again i dont have alot of time. well see if the doc will be kind enough to run the disability. at this point i am wishing i had a never ending bank account.

countryside sounds beautiful but definitely not idea when going through a situation such as the one we are in now. but at least its peaceful. 

My anxiety is so bad today. my neck hurts my body shakes. my stomach. hmm. i remember 6 years ago when i started prozac i was so upset around week 6 or something and my sister was like "the medicine still needs time!" so i try to remember those times but hard when i feel yucky. im trying to go without xanax today so i can take some tonight and it will work a little better.

how are you? did you fall asleep yet? are you afraid of taking a whole diazopan?

i am googling "prozac week 5" (paranoid much? ;/)and i read a review that said this woman was struggling on it and a couple people responded with how it takes 12 weeks. I think its bs that doctors say 6-8 weeks.

anyway hopefully that gives us a little to go on. not much i know but hey. 

Hello Tina,

Yes 8:30 pm and I went downhill; started worrying, feeling lonely, needy and isolated etc. And yet I felt good just a few hours earlier. I am in week 6 starting today and last night my sleep was as awful as ever. Woke up at around 3 and then 6 after going to bed around 11:30. Maybe 4 1/2 hours sleep. When will it end? This is my 2nd day without diazepam. I was taking it every day for around 2 months and like you I Google for hours on end and read all the addiction stories. Usually on 2mg a day but went up to 15mg a couple of times when have panic attacks.

I think I Googled almost every Prozac article by now. It does seem that 11 or 12 weeks is when you know for sure, but then if we change our dose we are starting afresh.

So are you now on 30mg each day? Please let me know how the side effects go. Maybe they wont be as bad as initially. Also if you try that Trazodone I want to be the first to know Did you manage to go without the Xanax?

It's 10am now and I just feel shattered and crappy. Took the Prozac at 7am today and will try and take it a bit later again tomorrow.

Hope you get some sleep and have a better day today. Anxiety is the pits. Mine seems to have evolved into feeling depressed. What a journey this is!

Dom x

I am so sorry friend. I hate that we have to suffer but know I am in same boat. My vertigo is agony. As you can see it’s 4 am here and I keep waking up every 2 -3hours. And every time I wake up I feel panic and vertigo dizziness. It freaks me out and don’t know what to do. I thought about getting anti very meds but they don’t interact with Xanax well I don’t think. So not sure. Both docs know I feel this way and still want me to up my dose so we’ll see. I’m scared but if I don’t feel good I’ll just go back down.  This morning will be the first time I’ll start if I don’t chicken out. 

My panic increased yesterday when I talked to HR rep on phone yesterday regarding my premiums and such. So

I still haven’t Managed to control my anxiety when things upset me. 

Why don’t you take you diazepan?? It will help. Once the SSRI works we will need those other meds less and less. But for now take it. I cannot go a day without Xanax. Yesterday I didn’t take it till night time. 

How are you now? Same? 

And my insomnia is still herrrndous. Went to bed at 9 woke up at 11 then fell asleep and woke up at 2:30 then fell asleep and woke up now

Wow Tina so dose uppage today to 30mg? I think the insomnia is holding us both back. When you wake up every few hours do you take something? I do else there is no way I would get back to sleep. I know you feel panic but you don't get as far as a panic attack do you? I thought Prozac had stopped the full blown ones for you.

Hey anything like that would have my anxiety through the roof.

Weird thing is I am now more depressed than anxious. I get anxious but it is (so far) less than a week ago, but now I am depressed instead. Out of the fat in to the fire

Mid day here. Feel calmer and okay'ish. I'll feel better at 3pm 'cause I took my Prozac at 7am, then go downhill from around 9pm. It is now so utterly predictable!

This is my 2nd day without a benzo. No idea if I will need them again upping my dose whenever that happens. You are really lucky that you have access to 10mg. My only option is doubling to 40mg.

Despite Googling forever there doesn't seem to be much information on upping dose / insomnia. I wish there were.

4am? Good grief. Will you get back to sleep? What will you use to do so? I think upping the dose is the right move for you so go for it.

Maybe you don’t need the benzo cuz your panic isn’t as bad as the depression. My issue has always been fesr and panic.  So I cannot goneithout it. But with the equal Librium crap the Xanax wears off early and I wake up. In the early days of Prozac I got freaked out and scared and panicky in my head very quickly and cried but I wonder if they lessened cuz my sister was home for holidays. My boyfriend always says I’m too in my head and I create things but it isn’t true all the time. I feel the way I feel. 

I have a massive heache right now. Around ears head and behind eyes. I get them slot since prozac. I wonder if that effects my EL. That’s the one thing I keep forgetting to tell my doctor is about the headaches. My apetite keeps getting less so I worry now that I’ll increase my dose. Feel like I need to edit later in the morning to take my prozac. 

Can you take Tylenol on Prozac? Tylenol is pretty harmless isn’t it? 

Since it’s 4am here odds are I won’t go back to sleep. If I can get 3-4 hours during insomnia I consider it s victory even tho it was Chooped up and awoken with panic and dizziness and nausea. I won’t take anything because i took 2 Xanax before bed! So i wouldn’t feel safe taking anymore. (Might ask doc to change me to klonopin) feel somewhat ok when I lie straight down but ugh. My mom was here all day yesterday helping us clean.  (After holidays mess) and I love her but she makes me more anxious. So feel like I can’t be myself. 

Anyway. Just opened my partition that leads to the living room and my cats are just staring at me. When sister goes sbck to work Monday I’m gonna have to remember thru keep me company. Ugh 

Lovd your food post! So glad you made one! 

 Glad some of the feels subsided somewhat. 

I bought spinach. Gonna try to make some toddy. How are the dogs? 

Hello Tina,

I started out with panic attacks and anxiety but seem to have moved "forward" to just milder anxiety and depression. Progress I guess! However like you I don't know how upping the dose will affect me. I dread the anxiety coming back.

Did you get your Trazodone? That is the one for me I think. I hear you can get a full night's sleep with it.

Haha the dogs are driving me nuts. They're gorgeous but bark a lot and always want a cuddle. It's great having animals for company. They are real soothers.

Yeah any company seems to make me anxious, or at least it did last time I tried, but maybe I'll just get depressed with them next time.

I had the headaches too. That's the bit of your brain being rewired as far as I know. I get it mostly on left side. Probably a good sign

Are you keeping a diary so you can see how you're improving?

Spinach is delicious! Okay I am joking. I'd rather have chocolate cake but last time I did that I had the worst anxiety.

So 30mg today? What time are you going to take it?

Me and the scruffs have our fingers and paws crossed that this is a turning point for you.

Yes. it seems to be the depression or the anxiety that peaks and If were lucky both 😏.  Heyyy my headache is on the left side to! I wonder tho if it’s because I always sleep on the left but I’d like to think it’s cuz the meds are doing something. 

I am gonna try to take my time this morning and make breakfast maybe spinach and eggs scramble with blueberries(I will probably only have a few bites but lord knows I’ll try) . I struggle with being hungry in the morning but I figure if maybe Ill wait a little longer like 8 or 9 I’ll be a tad hungrier and take the 30. But I just know I’ll lose my apetite even more. Did you experience that at all of flux? For men it might be different idk. 

Ya dom, thanks for reminding me about a diary. I was doing s good job of that at IOP (intensive out patient therapy) but forget to when I’m home and not feeling well. But yes I have. Actually wanna look at it today to see. This all started early November. I journaled more right before Christmas then I journaled last night. I fear I’ll see little difference but that’s my pessimistic side. I know their have been slight improvements. Burn eith other side effects It’s hard to remember. 

I tried listening to some podcasts this morning by dr amen. I love him. Then I listened to a bible devotional about anxiety. They were short so I liked them. I forget to pray a lot cuz I get mad at god for Allowing this but when Melissa was over and we listened to Lucinda basset she said sit Hong about how we are right where we’re suoooze to be. So I’m gonna try hard not to think about my financials and work I already have me to worry about. 

I am

Picking up the trazadone toddy! At 2:30 after work stress therapy! So I’ll be taking it tonight. Also scared but gotta try. I’m gonna cut the pill in half! 

Tell the dogs thanks! I’m lying here in my bedroom in the dark watching the office on my laptop and I heard something crash on my bed scared the living day lights out of me. Oh no just my smart ass cat! Oh Tennyson Grey! Don’t you know I have stress and anxiety and scare easily!?😉. 

What do you normally eat for breakfast in the morning Dom?? 

Is it between your temples on left side? It's the bit of the brain being rewired

I had no appetite for 3 weeks and now I am hungry all the time. I lost a lot of weight but now it's all coming back on. Breakfast for me is always oats, almonds and other grains. I am turning in to a rabbit. Prefer the sound of yours! Cheese toasties for lunch.

My diary is in Outlook on my PC. I color the days according to how good or bad they were. I have less red days now and more green When I look at the month view I have definitely improved. But I have stalled.

You're being way more proactive than me listening to podcasts and therapy stuff. I don't know why but I still haven't really looked in to any of it. I even avoided the online stuff. Think I am worried it will make me worse.

Wow so tonight is the night! So are you taking 50mg of Trazodone?! I am so excited for you. This might be the night that you get a good sleep!

Haha I'll tell my pets you said hello when they stop snoozing. That might be some time.

Wishing you a better day as always.

Dom

 

Omg I did fall asleep agin from 6am-8. I’m so panicky ofcourse snd feels yucky mostly it should pass. And now i have to make breakfast take the meds. Eeeek. Do you eat your oats with milk? Almond milk? 

Yes the headache is between temples mostly my ears and eyes hurt and mostly left side. So could be meds but also vertigo. 

Ok here goes nothing. Let me know what you eat your oats with what kind of milk ? 

Eeeeeek! Just took the 30mg!!! 🙏🏼 #soscared