Interview with my hips

Posted , 15 users are following.

Me  - So, you down there, umm, how you doing?

Hips - Well, no thanks to you, we are fine, thanks for asking. We are a little cosmetically changed but function is resuming.

Me - That's good, I could barely move you for a while.

H- we thought you had us replaced with an elephants leg, the skin is about the same!

M- Sorry about that, I can't reach. I have rules, you'll have to put up with the flakey skin and, umm, the stubble. 

How long is this going to go on for?

About six weeks but I am trying to perfect a kind of golfers bend but it's only good for swiping something off the floor quickly.

You don't play golf, are we taking it up? 

No, we are not. I can barely walk down the road at the moment without crutches but I think you'll agree how good I am surfing the furniture inside.

It's not surprising we can barely walk, do you know what he did to us?

I am fully aware, I was there, but you are going to be better now. The bruising will go, you'll be able to move better without all that lumpy arthritis and I can get you off the drugs.

And the itching? It feels like ants.

My granny would have said that's a sign of healing but the layers of stitching are just beginning to heal up. I am giving you a rub with coconut oil every day, be thankful.

Thankful, she says, we have alien hardware in here that doesn't know what it's doing. It doesn't even want to stand up unless you do that tappy foot thingy.

That's the nerves healing, it'll get better so stop moaning and be patient. We've been through this twice now and if we are good then we should keep the newbies for years to come.

So life is going to be different?

Yep, think how good it was for a while after the first one. We could walk normally and everything. We just have to get through this tough bit at the beginning and then, can you hear it?

Hear what?

Life calling.

Now quiet you two, settle down, have a sleep and tomorrow if you are good we will tackle the steps up the back garden.

 

 

16 likes, 44 replies

44 Replies

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  • Posted

    That's brilliant Kate really made me smile it's good to be cheered up because it's a long haul.  But getting there.

    lorna

    • Posted

      It is, Lorna, it is a massive op that takes a lot of recovery. I am pleased to be past that horrible first two weeks but am hobbling around the house still with all the grace of a hippo - ah well.
  • Posted

    Oh Good Lord, my hips are communicating with yours ... psychic hip connection, I swear --- mine are complaing right now that I should remember that I CANNOT carry heavy grocery shopping bags yet - well never actually but did anyway - and they are loud, pinching the scars and pulling at muscles in groin .... 

     

    • Posted

      I like that, psychic hips! I have been a naughty girl as well. I went up the steps to see my chickens! Oh, how I have missed my girls and I think they missed me, they all came running towards me when I called!

      Lovely to do something a bit normal but I am sat down on the sofa with a cup of tea now wink

  • Posted

    Think I may be odd. That made me cry but in a good way 😂 10  days after op and hopeful for a better life. 
    • Posted

      Not odd at all, Lynn, I had Weepy Wednesday after the first hip but after the second, well' let's just say I exercise my tear ducts regularly!

      Get over those first two weeks and you start to see a real difference. It's still hard, still slow, but the worst bit is over. 

  • Posted

    Hi Kate,

    that has really made me laugh out loud!!!!! keep the banter up its great!!

    Tracy

    • Posted

      Thanks, Tracy, laughing is good for healing and have to say my hips are a lot more cheerful these days!
  • Posted

    Very good kate this is a nice and light way of looking at what has

    happened to us all keep up the good work a laugh is the best medicine

    for us all

    • Posted

      I have to laugh, Helen, there have been days when laughing seemed a long way off but I am quite proud of my hips (don't tell them).

      They are whispering at the moment that they want drugs but I am making them wait!

    • Posted

      You are right to make them wait they have been in charge for a

      while now it's your time to show who is boss lol

      Take care

  • Posted

    Excellent!! 

    I have discussions with my new hip too.  Ususally along the lines of... why dont you just move when I ask you and not 0.5s later? and then sometimes when I forget the 90 degree rule I have to apologise to my hip as I just stop myself bending down to put my knickers on.

    :-)

    Alison xx

    Alison

    • Posted

      I think they should just give us a pair of Wallace's trousers from wallace and Gromit for the first few weeks then we could all tromp around and the trousers would follow the rules for us!!

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