Intrusive thoughts

I had some crazy thoughts in the beginning. Are they thoughts of horror ? Self harm? What do your intrusive thoughts consist of? Just asking. Thanks Toria. Hope you are well

my intusive thoughts were of doom and death.but they did subside.

Hi Kate,

Firstly I'd like to say a big thank you as your words here offer a lot of encouragement to a lot of people.

I'm personally just over three weeks into the meds (almost 2 weeks on 20mg) and feeling pretty awful. My anxiety manifests as being extremely nervous, it's so consuming. I'm trying to do the things I've seen mentioned here like try and relax to it, let it be, don't fear it etc but it's so hard as all I want is to just feel myself again.

Would you be so kind and send me the link to the book also, I think it's time to understand more of the techniques that can help.

And finally, what would you consider signs the meds are working? I know I'm really early days into it, but just desperate to know I will overcome this.

Hi Marketta

I seem to be answering your posts in reverse order lol. This is your first message to me and its the last I'm answering ....... oops.

Thanks so much for your kind words of thanks to me - I just like to pass on what I've learnt over the years and really do have an interest in anxiety and how it works.

Anxiety comes in all shapes and sizes, and we all develop our own personal thoughts and fears around it - but the underlying anxiety is all the same for us. Its anxiety but just with 'different hats' on.

People tend to concentrate on (worry, fear) about their thoughts about anxiety, the physical symptoms of anxiety ie dizziness, racing heart, etc which is quite pointless really because those are only side effects of anxiety, and if anxiety wasn't present then you wouldn't have these side effects. So to worry about the side effects, this causes more anxiety which adds more anxiety onto anxiety and keeps you in a constant cycle. We don't worry about the symptoms of a broken leg (pain, swelling) ... we know its a broken leg and we know the pain and swelling will go when the leg has healed.

Same for anxiety.

Please try not to feel desparate about recovering. You will ... in time. Feeling frustrated, desparate etc only adds more anxiety on. You will recover in time, but you have to let it do it in its own time for you - we're all different. You can't get rid of anxiety overnight, or by tomorrow or next week - probably not even next month. The more you try and rid yourself of anxiety the harder it will cling. I've sent you the book link and a few explanations via message too xx.

The meds take an age to work, so again try not to feel worried about this. I first noticed signs around 3 months, but then I still didn't realise I was recovering.

Signs creep up on you - they could be you're sleeping a bit easier, your appetite is a bit better, you may not be 'inside your head' as much, or you may find you'll start having little 'glimpses' of feeling normal which could be at a particular time of the day. I started feeling relief in the evenings, just half an hour maybe ....... and the next day I'd wake feeling dreadful again. This happened again another evening, and another etc (despite waking each day full of anxiety) and slowly my evening relief grew longer until it spread more into my day. Finally around 6 months I stopped waking full of anxiety and I felt good all day, every day. All through this time I still had complete bad days and weeks, but the evening relief started again.

This was how it worked for me but it might be different for you.

Recovery is slow - it can be many months and its often a roller coaster along the way.

Just roll with it and let recovery come to you rather than you chase it. You can't make it happen any quicker.

K x

Withdrawals usually occur weeks after tapering or stopping. No way I would advise anyone to stop these meds cold turkey. Taprring can be bad by itself. I know you have had a horrible time while trying to taper. What disage did you start on originally? Taper schedule you used?

this isnt my first withdrawal, i have my own support group, i think my withdrawal was made worse by the fact that i didnt let my cns settle long enough before starting this one, but the fact is i didnt want to stay on them they take away your personality and everyone has to come off eventually as antidepressants poop out and the longer youre on them the worse the withdrawal xx

that doesnt apply for everyone my mom and some friends been on them for decades and they are fine .ps but also they did not and will not get of them.best regards

my personality never change on the contrary iam more kind.

i dont think they can make you more kind tbh most people say they make you feel dead inside, but you may be different, my partners aunts just pooped out after 20 plus years she is a mess xx

me personally iam more kind i would say .only because i no longer suffer from anxiety. iam not going to be one of my phychiatrist patients who has the curiosity to come off because i feel good .the drama starts happening when you feel good and then you try to wean off.thats when all the sketchy side effects from withdraws kicks in.as far as feeling dead inside not me toria .i feel happy .better than ever . that goes for my mother also who has been on then for over 20 years.every ones chemistry is different .we can try and compare our similarities and differences with this med .but in the end we are all different.best regards sorry about your aunt.

im coming off as i shouldnt of been on them in the first place and dont want to rely on meds for the rest of my life xx

knowing all the consequences from these meds and been this is not your first withdraw ,why do you keep taking antidepresents.?iam just curious .x

i dont keep taking them i was on 3 at once for headaches depression and fibro

no wonder you feel super sketchy wow three!i cant even deal with one .amazing how these doctors prescribe antid.for any thing...x

agree xx

And you are withdrawing from 3 at the same time?

no, its a long story, ive come off mirtazapine 3 times the last time i was put on it was for steriod induced pychosis which if i was properly informed would of passed without meds, im still on amit xx

amit.i would have to say is the demon antid.wow.i was on it for one day.what a tripp.and the worst withdraws from one pill.that lasted weeks.i totally understand what you are going thru.

i had 6 months of withdrawals from 9 days of mirtazapine, ive upped and downed amit and never had a problem xx

you see how all our chemicals are so different.i try five different antid.the only one that work wonders is celexa.for me.