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Intrusive thoughts up and down?

Posted , 9 users are following.

Star1711
Star1711

Does anyone else have ‘good’ days where the intrusive thoughts don’t bother them as much but then other days where they just won’t stop and let you go about things?! I feel like I’m having one of those days 🙄😪 I had a good sleep, not a particularly stressful day, but my brain is on a non stop merry go round with lots of rubbish today. I feel like I’ve improved lots with my anxiety (not 100% yet) but these thoughts keep holding me back. To everyone else who doesn’t know me that well, or for those around me who don’t fully understand anxiety, I look fine, you’d never guess what I’ve been going through, but I don’t feel ‘fine’ knowing what I’m still feeling. Would love to hear some success stories please, just feeling super fed up. I miss being carefree and not feeling like some sort of prisoner in my own head. I’m fine when I’m out or among company, but when I’m alone the thoughts just appear and are at the forefront of everything. I know they’re not true and I’ve been trying to be more ‘accepting’ of these thoughts but today I just feel so sick of having them. I don’t feel like the medication has calmed them down at all yet...they became present a few days before I started medication, when my anxiety hit rock bottom. I’m not as scared of them as I was, more uncomfortable now, but I just detest them and they make me feel rubbish. Are the thoughts one of the lash things to go? I’ve been on 30mg of citalopram for 2 weeks now. Still early days.

1 like, 39 replies

39 Replies

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  • al-pk9
    al-pk9 Star1711

    Posted

    Hey Star,

    Yes... At the moment I'm constantly looking over my shoulder for intrusive thoughts and got me really worked up and stressed last night (more the anticipation of them)... today tho I've been pretty good. I'm not 100% in the room yet but 70% as opposed to 20%. Make me feel like sh*t aswell I hate them. Remember they are literally a part of anxiety and will go when it does 🙄

    Al

    • Star1711
      Star1711 al-pk9

      Posted

      Thanks Al,

      Yes, it sure does feel that way, that thoughts are always round the corner waiting to pounce at me! Just got to be patient I guess 🤷🏻??? Anxiety is a strange and horrid thing to go through 😑

  • steven1976
    steven1976 Star1711

    Posted

    All

    I was in 20mg for 2 years then it was upped to 40mg this year. It was it that stage I decided after a month to come off it because I felt great. BIG mistake. 2 months later I myself decided to go back onto 40mg. OMG it was like my body was hit with every emotion going and my bladder was out of control which I was told it was a side effect etc. Anyway it’s was decided by my GP to reduce to 20mg. Before I knew it, I’d taken an overdose and was taken to hospital. This was down to going on the 40mg straight away whiched caused intense intrusive thoughts. I was check out by the hospital counsellors. 

    I’m now back home and it’s 3 weeks since going back on Cit and each day appears to be getting better although I’m still crying in the morning which is to be expected and feel calmer in the evening. The thoughts are still there but not as intense. 

    It’s good to here the advise on this forum and to know other have had the same or similar experiences 

    I take each day as it comes and hopefully get back to being myself 

    • gemma77546
      gemma77546 steven1976

      Posted

      Hi Steven, a similar thing happened to me nine weeks ago and I’m now nine weeks in on 20mg citalopram. This is the first week that things have started to ease a bit for me. I’m still having to take zoplicone to keep me asleep during the night but the mornings are just starting to get easier. I know I’m not cured but I feel like I’m getting there slowly. Doctors don’t always understand how switching us between doses can have serious consequences. I was jumped from mirtazipine 30mg to citalopram 10mg overnight the four weeks later straight up to 20mg and within a fortnight they wanted to put me up to 30mg. It was through listening to the others on here that made me stop and think and I’m so glad that I’ve listened to everyone as I’m giving the 20mg a chance to work. My body and head was a mess, I lost two stone and couldn’t look after my child without support from others I just wanted to die it was awful. But I do feel like I’m getting there now. You will get there too it’s early days.🙂

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