is anyone else experiancing outbreaks every 2 weeks?:(

Hi there,

I got diagnosed with genital herpes end of May this year and finding out that these stupid little spots weren't an irritation or pimples, but instead a virus that will stay with me for the rest of my life absolutely destroyed me. 

I have been living in the dark for the past 8 months, scared, worried and disgusted that I let this happen. I was 17 years old, almost 18 and it breaks me knowing that I truly didn't deserve this in any way. Second time sleeping with a guy and BAM I'm doomed for life.

Sorry I don't mean to poor out all my frustration onto you, I just felt like I could really relate to your post and because none of my close friends have any experience or knowledge of this virus, I feel awkward and ashamed to talk to them about it. 

I have outbreaks every month, sometimes twice a month. My main triggers are my menstrual cycle I think as I usually have an outbreak during or afterwards.

Have you possibly for any sort of advise for me, I know it might sounds silly, but I think it's so much nicer talking to someone who knows exactly what you're going through...

Thanks in advance

I was 24 when i contacted herpesvirus from a man i was casually sleeping with. I remember feeling like you, mortified and embarrased. My first outbreak was awful. I had to sit in a bath for nearly two days cause it was so painful. Anyways, i am almost 38 now and have learned to cope with the virus and it does get easier.

Words of advice; don't discuss your herpesvirus to anyone, including your friends. If they don't have it they won't understand it. You are judged. Living with the virus isn't as awful as we may initially believe. Outbreaks do become less infrequent. I've gone 2 years without an outbreak before. You will be able to notice signs quicker that way you can start suppressive therapy before it gets bad. Stress does seem to be the worst cause of outbreaks so pay attention to that and minimize stress in your life. Lastly, having herpesvirus does not end your love life. I've never spread the virus to a lover. You just need to be in very good tune with your body and refrain from sex at the first sign of a possible outbreak.

Good luck. Hope this helps

I have had herpes for 30 years I contracted it when I was in my mid 20s I only slept with one girl at that time she must have not known she had it. I would not tell anyone who doesn't have it, but things will get better. I met my wife 15 years ago we went out on several dates before I knew things were starting to heat up I sat her down and told her about it. She said she didn't care because she really liked me and would be okay if she go it (Crazy) I thought she was going to run out of the room . I also thought anyone who had herpes were lepers and should be sent away to a herpes island . Fast foward 15 years now and my wife never got herpes from me I use Valtrex to control outbreaks. Don't be down on your self herpes isn't a death sentace like HIV used to be or still can be today. It's just a itchy rash that's about it every one makes way more of it then it really is. 

Hey, I'm going through the same thing ! How is it going for you now. I been with it for 6 months and I feel and it occurs very similar to your description. At least we aren't alone lol

Hi....I'm 45 and was diagnosed back in my early 20s....and I have no idea from who I contracted it from!! All I do know is that, as much of a pain it is, in so many diff ways, I have had relationships and I have had 3 kids too...all safely and vaginally. The men who I've been involved with over the yrs have been understanding when I told them. If they really truly love you, they wont leave you. It isn't fixable...but it's treatable, and as long as your diligent with your outbreaks and symptoms, you can live a "normal" life!! It's not a fun thing, by any means....and I, too, feel disgusting, and less than, and ashamed...and all of those horrible feelings when I have an outbreak...but life goes on, it heals and I move forward. There r so many worse things out there....I'm so grateful to have found this forum, so I can see I'm not the only one dealing with this!!! I use daily meds, but recently my outbreaks have become more frequent...and it sucks!!! Have to say at this very moment, I'm gladddd I'm not in a relationship...lol...but I also know I don't want to spend my life alone, so I'll have to AGAIN at sum pt, tell a man about this....keep ur head up, gf...and know that honestly, the more u talk about it, the more power u take away from it!!! Keep on trudging....and love yourself!!!! Xoxo

Any hope?

It does suck! I'm taking 1000mg/valtrex a day and I'm still having OB every week!!! One goes away and two days later bam...another! I wanna die! I'm gonna see an infectious disease Dr. Good luck

I too took 1000mg of valtrex helped some and got another break out .. Im hating life right now it sucks and im on new meds still no good . i too need to swe an infectious doctor too..

Hi try natural things like 5 cups of redbush tea a day and use coconut oil in your diet and also use coconut oil on the area. I haven't broken out for nearly 2 years. Read up on the benefits of both it helps honestly

Hello my darling!!!  You have to start by changing your language!!!  When you use words like "destroyed"  "ashamed"  "disgusted"  "doomed" you are creating feelings of hopelessness in yourself, and it just isn't necessary.  Try to use words that are less extreme and more loving to yourself.  Nothing to be disgusted or feel guilty about, in the act of being human and vulnerable and passionate you contracted an inconvenient virus, nothing to be "ashamed" of or guilt ridden over.  Many, many people have this annoying, not deadly, virus.  It is not the end of your life.  It is not the end of your sex life.  It is not the end of your dreams and desires to have a family.  I contracted the virus when I was 25 and now at age 57, I have had boyfriends, marriage, family, and live a rich and beautiful and sexually active life.  I have NEVER infected anyone.  The worst thing about this virus is the cultural stigmas.

I'm also a holistic health and nutrition coach.  Diet and lifestyle are sueper important for minimizing outbreaks.  In a nutshell, mind the following:

Get  sufficient sleep (be protective of those 7-8 hours every night!!)

Maintain a solid fitness routine, preferably something you love, dance, yoga, hike, pilates, whatever gives you joy.

Be mindful of a healthy balanced diet, lots of veggies, some meat, good saturated fats (real butter, eggs, coconut, palm oil, etc.) and make most of your meals at home with good fresh ingredients!

Avoid processed foods, minimize sugars.

Research foods that are high in lysine and low in arginine, incorporate that into your diet.

Supplement with lysine and vitamin c and D3, research others if you like.

Minimize stress, take a Meditation Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course and use mindfulness meditation every day to calm your mind.

LOVE YOURSELF UP!!!!!  focus on your goals!!!!   Know that you are ok!

And please.....if you can't get a handle on the negative thoughts, find yourself a good therapist and get the support you need.  This just isn't the end of your life.  It's only the beginning and your journey as a human being is SOOO much bigger than a pesky virus.  Get this in perspective.

And good for you for expressing yourself here and beginning to be open for support.

Much love to you.

Start taking 2 grams of L-Lysine which is inexpensive and harmless and see how effective is that on you. 

It gets better when your mentalilty about it gets better. It sucks, trust me when I get them I feel so crazy. But after just living with it, taking my meds, seeing my doctor, I am actually able to go out and mingle with guys while I am having an outbreak. It's like I forget I have it and things are fine. Although the disease is a pain, it doesn't have to be the end of your dating life. The right man will understand because it is not your fault and it just a part of life. If he doesn't, he is not the one. 

Wow!!!Youre lucky guy ....thats so amazing she accpeted you for who you are despite the situation... I've been diagnosed with this going in three months and i think stress is my problem dat causes my outbreaks... Recently met a guy whos willing to spend the rest of his life despite my situation i myself was like wow dat alot to give up your everyday life ....i just hope dat our relationship can last like your wife and yours and dat he doesnt contract this HSPvirus ....

No mine change up some years are worse than others. Stress def is a key factor in our breaks. Have you learned your triggers. Your friend is a dick! You will get married have kids all that Herpes will not end that. Just gotta find Med's or supplements that make u comfortable and help the out breaks

Did you tell the guy that you were diagnosed with herpes ? 

Did you tell them you had the virus ? 

Hey Linda, I've never responded to anyone on a forum or registered on one before. I've had this since i was in my early 40s, I'm 56 now. I just had to comment on your wonderful comment and advice to this young lady. It was very refreshing and so kind. Youre truly a wonderful person to take the time to give such good advice and comforting words. This can be so stressful and difficult for people so is nice for those of us who have lived with it for years and know it isn't the end of the world to share our experiences. I remember when i fist got it how tough it was but like you with the right attitude and healthy habits it's very manageable. Thanks..

Thank you for this helpful uplifting information! I will take note of all that you mentioned and work towards creating a better environment for myself. I am a single mother of 4 and contracted the virus after 12 years of marriage and one long term relationship. During the stretch of being single over the past 4 years i contracted it and unsure when i actually got it but just found out earlier this year. The outbreaks are becoming more frequent and I have had negative thoughts about meeting someone new. I guess i still haven't accepted it. 

Hi Tina, are you still on here?  My situation seems very similar to yours. I would love to chat.

Thank you so much for your post. Your words are encouraging and the advice is very helpful. At 50 years old, I contracted herpes from my husband last year and I’ve been feeling that my sex life is over. I’ve been wondering if I would always pass it on to someone else. I haven’t had sex with my husband in over 7 months because I’m so now turned off by him. (I should have listened to my gut when it kept telling me he was cheating). I’ve been having recurrent outbreaks like maybe once a month for the past 6 months and it’s really frustrating. I will work on forgiving myself and forgiving him and feel so hopeful hearing you say that I can have an active sex life and not infect anyone else (I do think my marriage is over). Thank you so much!