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Is anyone there?

Posted , 17 users are following.

Hummingbird-S
Hummingbird-S

I think that I messed up my original post as I can't see it on here.

After going to the doctors today and admitting honestly how much I drink all I got was 12 step program, Russell Brands book 'Recovery' and a prescription for Thiamine. I had already researched the 2 best types of medicines to stop drinking and tried to explain that this was an ongoing issue, not a result of loosing my baby boy after 12 hours in March. I feel like he didn't 'hear' me. This is a new doctor having moved in December.

My partner and I have finished a box of wine already and now he is in bed I went to the shop and bought another 2 bottle: I hate myself and know I will regret it in the morning but I just don't care!

S x

1 like, 53 replies

53 Replies

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  • Hummingbird-S
    Hummingbird-S

    Posted

    Thank you all so much for your support and comments. To find a place that allows honesty without judgement has been really refreshing.

    S x

  • BTGB01222017
    BTGB01222017 Hummingbird-S

    Posted

    Hi Hummingbird.  I have been here for about a year now...tried so many ways to manage my alcohol use.  I used naltrexone for a while and finally, in May, asked my doctor for antibuse (disulfiram).  That has been the key for me...I take it and then that is support for saying no later in the day.  So far it has been helpful.  Just finished the first week.  I took the tiniest sip of communion wine - no reaction.  I drank O'Douls (NA Beer) - no reaction.  I think this is really going to help. 

    My doctor also pushed 12 steps - done that over and over.  I just hate the part where you check your brain at the door and repeat after them.  I do think God will help in this recovery thing.  I am asking the Blessed Mother to be my sponsor.  

    My drinking is all about depression too after losing a baby in 2002.  Sunk deep into boxes of wine!  Ug.  Sadly, my alcoholism and grief led me to essentially abandon my (then) 13 year old daughter.  I was there but not there.  I thought she was a terrible teen but as I look back, she was just scared, angry, hurt that her mama was not there.  Poor precious girl.  

    I wish you all the best.  It is possible to recover.  Can you see a different doctor?  

    With love, 

    B

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 BTGB01222017

      Posted

      What a heartfelt and moving reply. So honest with everything. Keep trying to recover and remain sober 😁

  • HumptyDumpty43
    HumptyDumpty43 Hummingbird-S

    Posted

    Hi Hummingbird,

    Are you keeping your journal still?  I've read it with interest as  I can relate to a lot of your feelings.

    I've read up until 12 July but then it stops.

    I hope you are OK.

    Love Humpty xxxxx

     

  • HumptyDumpty43
    HumptyDumpty43 Hummingbird-S

    Posted

    Hi Hummingbird,

    How are you getting on?  We've not heard from you for a while so am a bit concerned as to whether you are OK.

    I loved reading your daily journals but maybe you don't feel up to writing them at the moment.

    All the best.

    Humpty xx

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