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Hi, well I think this is normal but honestly now I don't know what is. So, all throughout the day I have smaller anxiety attacks that last for like 10 or so minutes and I can usually calm myself down and suppress them, but for some reason in the afternoon around 5pm until I finally fall asleep I normally have an onslaught of them, the demons come out, and they are about stupid stuff which I hate. Like things I did months or even years ago that I have no control over. And I am at a more stressful part of my life I would say, which is this coming school year is my senior year and now I have to worry about going to college and getting the money for that and doing good in school and then later finding a job to pay for all this. It is just all so much for me right now, i stay calm on the out side for my friends and family and act like I have everything under control but I really don't, I try but I don't think I do enough, I could do more but it is too much. I have a whole life ahead of me and it is just so much. And on top with this stupid anxiety which won't let up, and it is mostly about stupid stuff in the past and stuff in the future, and it is like a thing that I can just expect to happen, like no matter what I start to get very anxious and breathing heavy and higher heart rate at around this time. I hate complaining because I know my life is not nearly as bad as some people have it, I know it could be much worse, but it still could be better, I could be better. I feel I shouldn't be feeling this way, senior year should be fun but it is just killing me. Well I started off with a simple question and now it became this so I don't know what to title this now, so anyway thanks for reading. I guess I needed to vent.
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