Is it normal to have almost timed anxiety? And some venting I guess.

I mean antidepressant, sorry for the type o

It seems more complicated than that. Than just going to the doctor and I do want to just I don't want to scare my parents they have never seen this side of me. And well it is at a weird point where sense some of the day I feel ok, not as anxious and other parts of the day I feel absolutely horrible. So it is like when I am not feeling bad I am like oh, cool maybe just maybe this was just a phase, maybe it is all gone now, then it is like nope send everything we got. If that makes sense. It is just I can't, you don't know how much I want to get help and not feel alone in this stupid fight against myself but I can't, not yet. Probably once I move out but not yet.

Can you have a talk with your own doctor. You can call and ask for a call back and ask how to handle all this. This is your life too my friend. Complicated or not you need you in this life. Dont be afraid to seek help for yourself, already a huge red flag 

What's already a huge red flag? Just, what if it is nothing, what if tomorrow or something it just goes away and I make a big fuss about nothing. I don't like drawing attention to myself. And I don't want to somehow pull my parents into it. Just ah. I wish it was easier, that I could just go out too the doctor or something and figure this out without pulling people into it. I don't want my friends or family worry about my anxiety, that would be horrible, I would feel like a burden, I would be one.

Its real or it isnt. Panic attacks arent a phase. Growin your hair long is a phase. Wearing boots in the summer is phase. Flipping out inside praying no one can see your fear is not a phase. And if you manage it now you will save yourself a future of hell. Thats the truth. The fact your scared to even tell about it doubting yourself,is sad.you know why ...some cbt therapy and maybe, not even saying you need any, a little meds to keep the edge off can give you a happy, productive life.your parents would choose that for you if they knew. In a heartbeat. You are not a burden, you are a gift to this world. Thats what your missing in all this. You matter!p

Ok, ok, true. But like how would I, could I tell them. Just go down one random day and be like, "hey mom dad, you know that kid you used to know, all strong and happy and living a fun and happy life with little care in the world, well that actually never, or rarely existed, yep I am none of that, I am just a anxiety ridden kid who doesn't know what to do exactly.". No, I don't think I could do that to them, I feel it would hurt them too much, not the fact that I have anxiety but how they missed it all these years. I don't think I could do that to them. And I wouldn't be the "perfect" child they see now. I think it would just be too much. it seems almost better to just wait until I leave the house and do it all on my own. That sounds weird, the reason why I want to leave my parents house is not because I want to get away from them but actually because I want to protect them from my troubles and deal with them myself.

You made me tear reading that. I would grab you and hug you but i know what your dealing with. I felt your oain so you know. Ok grab a pen a paper. Rite out whats going on and i want you to take them thru a panic attack as articulate and detailed as you can. Then at the end(try to keeo this to two pages)  you write i love you please help me. You walk over to the one you feel closer too or the one who cares for you when your sick and say i need to tell you something but i dint want to mess it uo with nerves so i wrote it to you..please read this its important. Then stand there or sit there or whatever. Sometimes an immediate reaction wont occur, it has to be absorbed but within a day or two wothiut a doubt you will get a reaponse and im sure some help. Go for it. Go get your life and your future love you have EVERyTHING to gain here. Go write it and details are very important. This is manageable okay but you need help with it.

write*

Ok, I will, I may, I don't know. I want to. Just not today, not right now, I can't. It will probably take a few days for me to write it, it would need to be perfect. And just, the timing my birthday is in 15 days, school is starting in like 20... It is just alot.

Please listen to me. Please 

Ok, I will try just I am toooo stressed right now, I need to calm down. I don't want to make any rash decisions. I can feel my stupid heart.

Ok take your time writting it, but write it all out. Forget whats going on otherwise dont make excuses this anxiety youre dealing with is a terrible bully. You can be well on your way to being happier if done now by the time school starts. You cant imagine how much of a relief this can be once you hand over that letter. Im an adult I'm being very honest with you here..write the letter and give it over. No excuses anymore, this needs help okay. 

Ok, thanks honestly. If you have the time can you please check in on me in a day or something, make sure I do it. My mind and anxiety does a very good job at talking me out of doing stuff.

This is not a rash decision at all. You are too young to understand ..this is the correct way out of all this. What a wonderful birthday gift to gift yourself.. Self love and knowing this is all fixable..but needs outside help.dont be scared and do not allow your anxiety to punish you further by not seeking the help you deserve and need. Believe me your parents have heard of it and so has your doctor. 

You can use messages. See it . Anytime you want. Sometimes my wifi goes down but dont think i havent checked it. I do.You click the name and can send me a message anytime. you do this for you okay. IF i were you i start writting this tonight. Detailed. Two pages. You might need two days to do this. You got this. Go for it. Wow this time in like three months from this moment you can be a whole new person. Dont you realize that? An anxiety disorder is common but you catch this and get help now whilst your young its a lot easier to help you then when your older. Im so proud of you!  Please go and do this.

Ok, I will, would this also help my shyness I guess. Like I don't talk a whole lot, I have a lot to say but like sometimes it seems too risky or like I don't want to be judged or something. And what would a therapist or whatever do anyway? Like, I don't know. How much would it cost, would there be a time frame? If you know.

Hi Sheldon

If you love your parents and they love you you need to tell them immediately.    When my son was 28 he came and told me of his anxiety.  We went to doctors and got help.  When he was having bad times he would come home and cry in my arms.  He always says that was a great comfort to him.  My anxiety runs all day and then dissapears at night.  Have had a very bad year of emotional upsets which is why I am not in a good place.  I am having treatment from my doctor.  You too need a doctors help.  This will not go away on its own.  If you broke your leg, would you try to hide it from your parents.  Your head is broken, do not hide it.  You will feel much better when you have their support and protection.  Do not waste your youth deal with it now.  Your anxiety is stopping you from telling them, it wants to keep you all to itself.  Do you know 1 in 4 people suffer with some form of anxiety.  I talk to anyone who will listen about my anxiety, I am not ashamed of it.  Act now, do not listen to the anxiety in your head any more, go to your parents immediately.

 

Not immediately but I will in time. Just not now. Like a day or two maybe 3.

Thanks.

Its not always talk therapy they teach you breathing thru anxiety and how to rarionalize iut a lot of the symptoms. Its a different kind if therapy. And they will ask you the questions to get an idea of whats happening to you. They know what to do. 

I can be shy myself. Writting makes it so much easier. And its so much more detailed that way. I understand that part very well. And no nerves involved because its all written down already 🤗

Yeah, I probably would not be able to talk to someone like this, so smoothly. Writing gives you time to think and prepare what you are going to say. thanks.

I would like your time frame to be be write and give it to your parents.as soon as your done writting it. Thats your part in this.  Dont worry about the cost its all covered by insurance and if you have no insurance they work with your family on what you can pay. Thats not your job to think about. You on the other hand are priceless and i dont  want this to cost you your future of a decent existence , cause thats what its caoable of doing. 

 

Ok, thanks. I am glad I posted this. It is so much. Just ah, it is going to be difficult to tell them.

But soooo rewarding

I hope so.

I am scared.

Thats what an anxiety disorder does it makes you scared of anything things that are nit normally scary. You wont feels somscared once you write that letter and guve it to your parents. It will be comforting to get help and then youll have hope and guidance. Thats why i want you to write it up and go for it. Too much fear inside you, it needs to be tamed.

Yeah, why can't I be freaking normal. I don't think I did anything to deserve this, I haven't done anything wrong. I have done no drugs or anything of that sort, I have only been focusing on school and doing what I can, doing my best or as close to it as I can. But nope apparently none of that maters. My mind feels like punishing me, the funny thing is it doesn't even seem like my mind, it seems separate. No not separate more of a different side of a coin. And the thing is my life seems to be going pretty well, nothing bad has happened my parents are nice, I have good friends, I have everything I could ever want or need but that apparently means nothing as well. Sorry I am just getting it out now. It makes no sense.

This isnt  punishment sweetheart.  It's usually genetic meaning someone in your family's jeans has this besides you. You're born with the predisposition for it or some trauma occurs that can incur it and it can be learned. You're probably dealing with the genetic factor of it. Many people in the past and it actually talk about it not like it's talked about today but that doesn't mean it did not exist.  I promise you this isn't a punishment and I know it really really feels like one. It is something inside if you called  A fight or flight response. It is a little part in your brain that is responsible when your body feels in danger a tragus what chemicals called adrenaline, what is off, and epinephrine. It is an automatic response from your brain to your body. For whatever reason yours is stuck in survivor mode and thinks you are in danger a lot. This is not your fault this is manageable and  and this is fixable because you're going to literally learn how to retrain your brain properly. You can learn to recognize when this starts and all the things you need to do to calm your body down properly and await you think properly to handle it. Do not blame yourself do not feel guilty do not hate yourself this isn't in your control right now. Hopefully you will learn all the stuff you need to learn so that you can manage it and if need be  and I'm not your doctor to assess you if they feel you need a little short term medication to help take off the edge than you do. The goal here is to get your life back and not ever have to deal with feeling the way you're feeling right now ever again. You don't want to feed into this in Zaidi with your thoughts because it will get worse and worse that's just the reality of it I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you it will just go away because it doesn't usually do that.  So I'm going to say to get them to you for your own benefit and for your own future so you can put all this behind you or have it organized write the letter write it all out you know what you need to do you could read back into the post and give this letter to your parents and get it over with. You're young so that you would seems like such a scary big deal to bring this up but it really isn't I need to really manageable with the guidance that you need. There's there's no point to put this off .

Sorry abt the typos

Thank you. Just for so long have have lived with this and have thought it was "normal" until like 5 months ago and even then I wasn't sure. When I was younger I couldn't understand how people could just do stuff, like talk to people so easily, just start conversations with people, how they could be so courageous and not seem worried at all about life. So I thought hey they probably just try to ignore these fears and such so that is what I did I held it all in for the past ever. It seemed normal, easy but now it has suddenly gotten more difficult. I don't know why. I remember not a year ago I herd or saw stuff on TV and such about anxiety and I didn't even notice I had it, I just saw it as people who couldn't keep it all in, that everyone had these thoughts and fears and that the people with anxiety just couldn't hold it in for work reason. No one ever told me that these feelings were not normal, I guess it was somehow implied.

I wrote Some of the letter thing to give to my mother can you read it?

It has to be by you, from you and about you. Okay. No one needs to read it ..only your mom. Just be detailed so she understands this. You got this love. You got this. Im very proud of you

Ok, I am just incredibly worried. What if she doesn't understand or something. Or like I don't know.

That worry you are having is a part of the problem you have and it all needs to be managed and corrected. Just do your part of this and your mom is an adult she will take it from there. Put.  in details in your letter. Reread this whole conversation if you need to for advice and comfort. You got this. Have some faith in yourself that you got this now. You are making the smartest choice in your life right now.she needs the letter and she needs to know. If she wants to talk to you and you find you cant speak the right words use tears thats words from the heart. Thats why i want you to write the letter it will all be in there anyway.

Ok, I will, just ah, why does it seem to want to stay so badly, when I try to get rid of it, it just goes hey what if what you are doing is wrong, what if the place that you are in now is better than what it would be if you did ask for help or something. It is wrong but still there. I know that it is wrong but there is still a part of me that is what if?

I like to refer to it as the anxiety bully. Thats what it causes lots of anxiety and what ifs.. Once you get some help you will learn so much more about this. It called an anxiety disorder with panic attacks. You tube has a couple of videos about it.

Ok, thanks. I am writing it right now, I just hope I don't miss anything, or word it wrong, or just do something wrong. Stupid bully, it is very weird that my own worst enemy is myself. Not any other person just little old me. Be cause that is what it is, me the irrational part of me I guess.

I think I may do it today, I am so stressed, may arm muscle and such is twitching. Is that normal?

Now I am getting some chest pains, this all is new, why is it suddenly happening to me now.

You are really scared. Its not dangerous at all. It is fear, its called panic attack. Did you finish the letter, did you you give it to your mom? I want you to by tonight okay. This is what i dont want for you. These panic attacks send adrenaline rushes thru your body and make oains and aches anywhere it wants to and then youll think you youre sick or something is bad happening. I do not want you to do that okay.  Yes you can feel weird stuff with your heart or anywhere. You tell that anxiety bully to stop it because you wont fear it. You are smarter then these anxiety bully tricks. The answer to this is to say..okay i know this is anxiety, ok i feel it but i am not reacting to it, i am not scared of it, i am very safe this is just the anxiety bully and take slow deep breathes in and out and think of something beautiful in your thoughts. Even a flower or the cloudy sunny sky. Please finish the letter and give it to your mom. You can tell your mom your chests hurts as well. Everyone when this starts goes to their doctor and get a complete exam. Thats is always first thing to do. Then you ask the doctor what to do with all this anxiety. But whats the very first thing you need to do here? What your part again? Finish the letter and give it to your Mother okay. Please do it.

You ARE going to be okay. Youll see. You are a smart, brave person okay! Its okay in this world to ask for help. Your mom loves you so much and would want you to come to her. I am a mom i would want my child to tell me. Then i would help my child so they can live and have fun and be a kid. Okay. You will be okay.

Ok, thank I will do it later today. Just, ah.

Why is it so difficult?

Because you are scared. Because once you get all this out you can pretend it doesnt exist, which wasnt working anyway. Because you think this is rare and noone has it but you, because you fear the unknown. Thats why its difficult. Truth is it is so common, with help you will learn to manage it and not fear life and your parents will be happy you got the help you needed so you have a lovely future not one filled with fear and secrets. Dont make it a bugger deal then it is. That is the anxiety bully your rationale mind wants a hapoy life and this is the way to get it. There is no unpleasant surprises but understand it can take a day or two to figure it all out too. They need to know by tonight. Think positive here. School starts in 20 days and you need this all organkzed by then so you can focus on your childhood not your fears. It is not a phase. 

Organized* did you complete it yet? It should be very easy to write it. You are explaining what is hapoening to you. You are literally going to write out a full example of how it feels. You are going to ask for help as it is too hard for you to do this all alone so you have a happy future. this is not your fault. You are not a bad person. This is your way out the door to get help. 

I am almost done with it, I just need to read it over a few more times. I will probably give it to her tonight when she is resting or something so she has time to look it over.

That is a great idea. I am proud of you. You will always rememeber this day too because it is the day you were so brave and so smart and knew to ask for help. Good job! 

True, and thanks. And you where the one random person who I just by luck met online who pushed me to do it. Thank you. you just may have saved me from a life that I probably would not like too much.

I am so proud of you! 

I am still so worried, will it like change my life alot? Like I mean will doing this all like, I don't know. I hope you understand what I mean.

Ok, ok I think I am going to do it now or soon. I am so scared for some reason. This is probably the hardest thing I have done.

More like on an hour or so but it feels so soon.

Welp, I did it. My mother is going to call the doctor Monday.