1. Community
  2. Bones, joints and muscles
  3. Scoliosis and Kyphosis

Is scoliosis my fault? Did I worsen or cause it?

Posted , 6 users are following.

thornesaab
thornesaab

Hi, I am 21 years old and I want to share this story. Somehow I started to get huge anxiety in sports lessons in school and from then it became worse. I changed school due to bad grades and in that new school I had no friends and HUGE anxiety. It was so bad that my mouth was always dry and I couldn't eat anything. You know poor vision, eye strain, underweight and health problems. I was there from 8th to 10th class and I at least finished this school. Now I'm in the next school and things are well... they are better for sure and much less annoying. Now I can keep my grades good. Soon I will finish this school and go studying.

So during that time I was in 8th to 10th grade in that school I got an underweight of only 55 kg as a male from 16 to 19 years old. That is very low, I think. Then I got sent to a mental hospital and after half a year or so they diagnosed me with psychosis, indifferent schizophrenia and asperger. Not sure if all of that is true but I definitely have an anxiety disorder and little ocd. I don't care about mental illness, I can take it as long as it doesn't affect my health. As I said, I am now in a better school and I don't feel much pain.

The thing that bothers me though... At 19 years they discovered a 20° S curve scoliosis. I think he said it was 20° on top and 15° on the bottom part of the spine. Do you think that underweight had something to do with this? Or maybe it was my poor nutrition? Maybe a lack of calcium or minerals? I asked my mother about it and she said she gave me these high calorie drinks and there should have been calcium as well. She also said that we went to the doctor to try to check for physical illnesses but they couldn't find anything. We also did blood tests and she said my nutrition was alright. At least that's what I think how it is... I'm not sure.

So as you can tell I have ocd and anxiety and so on and I am HEAVILY bothered by this. Since I got diagnosed with scoliosis I want to know if it is my fault or not. Did I worsen my health so bad to get a 20° S curve scoliosis? Did I do something wrong? Is it all my fault? Thinking back I couldn't have eaten in school and anxiety was bad. But somehow I started feeling the same way when I got home so I stopped eating as well. It was ALL anxiety in school and ALL rage and anger at home. But I think I could have got myself up to eat something at home so I wouldn't be completely malnourished. But I didn't... sad

Now at 21 years my weight is good. I am taking olanzapin and sertralin. But thinking back do you believe that if I had had normal weight and good nutrition, would I have no scoliosis right now or only a little one? I mean it all happened when I was in puberty and that's when the body grows. So I screwed everything up? I didn't get enough nutrition and weight or body fat to grow a straight spine? Is this all my fault? It makes me feel horrible and if I knew that it was my fault once they discover the cause for scoliosis then I would be destroyed. Only thinking that it's my fault makes me BLOOD BOIL! I should have killed them all in that school or went to a different school, joke.

I am working out now and I want to become strong and muscular. But that "scoliosis fault/guilt" thing really hinders me on giving my best. I think I look bad in the mirror and it shatters my hopes of achieving the best results... do you know what I mean? I mean I have scoliosis and I look weird in the mirror even though it's only 20° but still.. it looks a little "wrong". I wish I had a straight spine and no scoliosis.

But if I knew that it was definitely NOT my fault then I would be heavily relieved! So now that I shared my story with you, can you help me finally solve this issue I have and move on? I already asked my orthopaedic, a chiropractor and my doctor about it and they all said the same: they do not know the cause for scoliosis and they don't know if I worsened it or if it's my fault. So I'm asking you. Can you just enlighten me with your knowledge about scoliosis or research it. What do you think? Is scoliosis my fault due to poor nutrition or underweight or something else? As I remember then before that happened I was playing video games for like 8 hours a day (not every) while sitting weirdly uneven at the pc desk. So I had poor posture as well. But I've heard that the more weight you have, the harder scoliosis hits you but could it be that underweight might be a cause for scoliosis because the bones are easily formable? I don't know...

Please tell me if scoliosis is my fault or not. I want to give MY BEST in working out and I want this mental problem that I have to disappear! Did I worsen my scoliosis? Did I worsen my health so bad to the point of getting a 20° S curve scoliosis? Could I have prevented all of it? Is it my fault? Did I cause it? I want to know! Please explain your answer with a reasonable assumption. I want to hear your opinions on this! Did I do something wrong? Or maybe it was when I took that olanzapin pill that makes you hungry and I remember I gained like 10 kg in one month one time in the mental hospital... Whatever it is, give me the cause! I just can't believe that it is truly 100% genetic. At least not in my case... or is it? Things like this happen because of a cause! Don't they? So by judging my story what do you think of my scoliosis? Do you think I am the guilty one here? Did I worsen it or cause it? Is it entirely my fault because of the things I mentioned?

Thank you all for taking the time to read this. I would appreciate many honest comments and answers from you guys! This is really important to me. It has been bugging me for 2 years now.

1 like, 32 replies

32 Replies

Next
  • elizabeth142
    elizabeth142 thornesaab

    Posted

    Hi there

    Scoliosis is not your fault.

    You were born with it okay.

    I was and then later on they decided I’ve also got sacrolitis aswell. To do with hip and pelvis areas. I’ve got lower back area, problems. It’s good to exercise your core muscles keep them strong 💪🏻 to help keep your posture strong. Where you are ask in your back, your core muscles compensate that. 

    All the best 

    Elizabeth

  • sara04235
    sara04235 thornesaab

    Posted

    Hi, I am 16 years old and have a triple curve in my spine. My degrees are over 40 each. I was diagnosed when I was 12 and since then I have been repeatedly told that the scoliosis can't be worsened by injury or lack of eating. I am underweight but my doctors say that has nothing to do with the curve progressing. Although if u gain weight, the curve doesn't show as much. For a severe scoliosis patient, my curve isn't easily shown but I understand how you feel. I feel awful every time I look in the mirror and see one shoulder higher than the other, one hip more prominent, etc. According to my research, environmental factors play a part in the progression of a curve. BUT the curve is definitely not your fault so please don't blame yourself for something you had no control over. If you have anymore questions and feel I could be of any help, don't hesitate to ask. Hope this gives you some clarification and even if it doesn't, I hope you don't continue to blame yourself. Trust me, I've been there and done that. It's a complete waste of time. 

  • thornesaab
    thornesaab

    Posted

    So you think I did not worsen my scoliosis? I did not cause it too? But when I told a pupil during sports lessons that I had scoliosis, he asked me if I was always sitting weirdly in the past and I said yes. That plus the underweight and poor nutrition - is that now how I got scoliosis? Is it not my fault? Did I worsen or cause this or not? Thank you.
    • sara04235
      sara04235 thornesaab

      Posted

      Bad posture whilst sitting can't cause scoliosis. You may have congenital scoliosis, which means it was present at birth but I doubt that because your spine isn't excessively curved. Did u grow rapidly during ur teenage years? If yes, then I think that might be the cause of your scoliosis. I don't think the scoliosis is your fault and I don't think you worsened it either. 

  • thornesaab
    thornesaab

    Posted

    Yes I think my mother said there was a week when I grew very quickly. But doesn't that have to do anything with poor nutrition? Because in the mental hospital they gave me sertralin and olanzapin and olanzapin makes you more hungry. There were times when we went to an asian/italian whatever restaurant 3 or 4 days a week. I also gained like 10 kg in one week one time. Isn't that when I grew so quickly? So it's my fault? ;(

  • thornesaab
    thornesaab

    Posted

    I mean I was only 55 kg as a male from 16 to 19 years so they give me a pill (olanzapin) and I gained weight very fast. Maybe thats why I grew so quickly and so it is my fault? sad

    Im now at 70 kg for my 21 years.

  • margaret85310
    margaret85310 thornesaab

    Posted

    Eating that much would make you gain weight, but not grow taller. Scoliosis is most often first noticed during your adolescent growth spurt, because the spine grows long enough to make the curvature noticeable.

    Put your mind at ease: there is NO way to cause a curved spine, it's something that your body does on its own, and the reasons aren't completely known. Here is info from the Mayo Clinic:

    Causes

    Doctors don't know what causes the most common type of scoliosis — although it appears to involve hereditary factors, because the disorder tends to run in families. Less common types of scoliosis may be caused by:

    Neuromuscular conditions, such as cerebral palsy or muscular dystrophy

    Birth defects affecting the development of the bones of the spine

    Injuries to or infections of the spine

  • thornesaab
    thornesaab

    Posted

    So I did not do anything wrong? I did not cause or worsen my scoliosis? It just came to be this way all by itself and it was beyond my control? It was inevitable and unstoppable to happen? Whatever I could have done better, I would have got a 20° S curve anyways?

  • thornesaab
    thornesaab

    Posted

    It's just hard to believe that I did not worsen or cause my scoliosis. Did I really not do anything wrong? The underweight, the poor nutrition and bad posture/bad sitting habits really didn't contribute to my scoliosis? These things did not worsen or cause it? Please answer. Thank you. smile

    • margaret85310
      margaret85310 thornesaab

      Posted

      Nope, nope, nope. You were born with it, just like the rest of us. It only seems to come on later because we grow tall enough in adolescence for it to become noticeable. BTW, the nutritional issues sound like they weren't your fault either. Mental health issues are, for most of us, not under our control when they are bad. I had a very difficult time eating when I was depressed, and I lost a TON of weight. It's a side effect of the illness, not a personal failing...

    • thornesaab
      thornesaab margaret85310

      Posted

      So did my nutrition and the other things cause or worsen my scoliosis? I really want to hear your answer! It's hard for me to think that I was born with it. Sorry. smile

  • thornesaab
    thornesaab

    Posted

    Okay. I believe you. And nutrition also doesn't affect scoliosis? Because I feel like I could have eaten more back then. It was just the anxiety and pain. In school I still know that I could not eat anything there. But when I got home I purposely didn't eat anything because I was angry, anxious, exhausted and masochistic. And underweight and nutrition and these things really did not cause or worsen my scoliosis?

    If I didn't have problems back then in school I would have gotten a 20° S curve scoliosis anyways? I'm sorry for asking so much but I have little ocd and I am a bit obsessed with this fault thing. Do all the things I did really not contribute to my scoliosis and make it worse? Please tell me one last time.. Thank you! cheesygrin^

    • margaret85310
      margaret85310 thornesaab

      Posted

      In my opinion, no. I had my initial back surgery when I was 11 years old, and that way YEARS before I had any issues with gaining or losing weight. My back started to hurt as I began to grow taller, but it was discovered early because I was the youngest in my family and we all have it. Pretty sure we inherited it from my dad, because he had very bad scoliosis also.

       

  • thornesaab
    thornesaab

    Posted

    So I can stop feeling guilty now? I really did not do anything wrong and I did not cause or worsen my scoliosis? There's nothing I could have done to prevent it abd it's not my fault?

    Thank you.

  • thornesaab
    thornesaab

    Posted

    I got a notification but I can't see your reply. Please answer my last question I would be very grateful!

Back to top
Next

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.