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Is there any point?

Posted , 9 users are following.

jake12070
jake12070

The past month i have been doing well with the odd slip up with self harm but nothing major and have been feeling like i have a chance to beat this but i was alone last christmas and promised myself i wouldn't end up like that again and its happened again this year, my mum made plans without me and my step dad kicked me out of his house about a month ago because he couldn't deal with me being in my room feeling low all the time.

I was alone on christmas day and boxing day just laying in bed upset all day, the one day of the year that i just wanted to forget as i knew what was going to happen, i just hope next year isn't as bad as this because i don't know how much more i can take, im back to square one barely even moving out of bed sad

Im 20 years old and back to wishing there was an easy way out, i had built myself up to go to the doctors aswell which took weeks but was unable to go and now whats happened with christmas has just destroyed all of my motivation again! sad

I don't have any friends or family anymore, only people i speak to are people i have met on here who have been amazing but one day ill have to question what exactly it is im fighting for anymore.

3 likes, 37 replies

37 Replies

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  • eli_bird
    eli_bird jake12070

    Posted

    Jake i would love to Adopt you smile

    i spent the last two christmas`s alone so i can understand how you feel and this year i spent with my family and you can also be in a crowded room and feel alone but my circumstances are different than yours,I have a 22 year old son and i miss him i never spent Christmas with him'

    I can see by your replys you are a very polite young man and i would be proud to Adopt you its not very often you come across such politness and your Stepdad is just not understanding the pain and lonliness you are feeling,I dont understand how your mom could leave you out of her plans knowing you are alone ,so my advice is find your inner strength reach for it now .

    I understand you not wanting to go the doctors sometimes it just feels so hard to make the first step,but without realising you already have by writing this letter on here smile

    You will always get the support on here because everyone on here understands your pain because they are people that have been there that is a important thing to the road of recovery .

    I suggest you show your family how good you are and make good your life and be someone people look up to.

  • eli_bird
    eli_bird jake12070

    Posted

    Hi Jake 

    u.tube this Andrew-De-Leon-Full Audition,Britain got talent a young man always in his room like yourself with an amazing talent no one knew he had ,now he is a great success ,so what im saying is please dont live in your room there is a world of opertunities out there for you to have a happy life make a resolution 2015 to show your family and everyone else you can make good your life ,find out what courses you can go on or hobbies ,I wish you Luck and much success for the New Year smile

     

  • hypercat
    hypercat jake12070

    Posted

    Jake I am sorry you feel like this again.  We all gave you good advice previously so I am going to tell you that you must go to the doctors no matter how hard it is.  No one is going to beat a path to your door,  I know that's harsh but that's the way it is.  Is going to the doctor worse than feeling like this?   

    Only you can take  steps to get the help you need.  Can you write down everything in a letter and give it to the doctor?  

    There are 2 ways you can go from here (and I speak from experience).  You can go into a decline but that's not much fun and I have tried this myself or you can decide you are going to give yourself the chance for happiness.  You deserve this chance and you owe it to yourself to go for it.   Nothing is going to change unless you make it.   You have been given your life and you need to respect that and have hope for the future.  x 

  • eli_bird
    eli_bird jake12070

    Posted

    New Year and New start Jake smile

    Start the year by being posative smile

    Happy New Year To Everyone!!!

  • eli_bird
    eli_bird jake12070

    Posted

    Hi Jake 

    have things got any better for you,i know you take each day at a time ,really wishing things are improving as we have not heard from you for a while 

    • jake12070
      jake12070 eli_bird

      Posted

      Thanks Eli i'm trying my best just having a bad night i hope you're doing ok xx
  • Bianca2014
    Bianca2014 jake12070

    Posted

    Hi Jake,

    This seems like a classic saying but... You really are not alone in this, at all in any way! I'm a sufferer of depression, I have been on & off for seven years. I've now had it for a year. I found it such a struggle to go to the doctors too in the first place but it is the best thing to do! Anti-depressants helps (for some people), they can offer groups to go to. I have never done that, I am extremely open about my depression with my friends now. There will be people around who care, I know it's hard to be open about it but people will be understandable if they're true friends. I'm 23, so not too much older. 

    If you need a couple of days in bed to chill, then do it smile. Take yourself on a walk if you can, I know it's hard but exercise is helpful & the fresh air feels nice. If you're seeing people around, it makes you realise that you're not completely alone in this world. Not at all! 

    Do you like watching films or series at all? I've recently realised after watching some series that they keep my mind busy, I start thinking about what's happened, it gives me something to look forward to! You can take your mind off of yourself for a second and fall into these other worlds whilst watching them smile.

    I'm free to talk on here, if you want to reply on here or private message, feel free smile! I know what it's like to self harm, I think I'm getting better & then I have what I class as a 'depression' break down & I will cut my arm. I currently have scars and marks, I feel embarrassed but if people see... They can probably guess & I'd be honest about it. A lot of people know that I suffer with depression now so...

    smile!

    • jake12070
      jake12070 Bianca2014

      Posted

      Hi Bianca thanks for the reply, iv'e really been trying recently but still keep having these horrible moments every day that last a few hours like now where i just can't think straight and its horrible sad

      I just don't know what to do when i feel like this usually music works but i just seem to be laying in bed staring at the wall sad x

  • darren25905
    darren25905 jake12070

    Posted

    Hi Jake

                  Had Severe Depression and Social Anxiety Disorder 31 years now (15-46) and have found (IMO) that the regular meds don't work...ie Anti D's, Tranqs, Beta blockers...etcetera.

              Cut long story short...as they did not work I self medicated...became very ill...came out of Hospital...was put on Methadone at 37 and have had virtually NO Depression, mild Anxiety....and not ONE side effect in 8/9 years on Done, which I can't say the same for some of the meds the Docs put me on...added to this I have a quality of life I did not think would happen...I have a good job, a great girlfriend...and hopefully all this will continue as I had no quality of life up until 37...

     Google  Methadone for Depression and read many stories like mine...wish there where more trials on the good Methadone does!!

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