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Its cancer Im certain of it.

Posted , 7 users are following.

River_Song
River_Song

Endless google searches. Constant worry. Im going to die. I sit and worry over this and that, all my life. When i discover unusal moles and lump behind my ear I belive deep down its cancer. From my understanding my grandmother had melonma cancer. The deadlest form of skin cancer. I know im going to leave my family behind. This is my thoughts constantly beating down my mind and making me afraid with panic. I have an appointment with a dermatoligist on Thursday. Thats no soon enough. My thought process, very dramitic and vivid. When I die my family will be left alone and husband wont know how to raise our daughter. I feel thier broken hearts and i wouldnt say fantizse because its not a fantasy more of a visual nightmare I put myself through. Now there is a chance. Reasliticly that i might have cancer. But these thoughts were here long before any signs of my NEW fear began. I sit at night on my phone usuing the drug all hypocondraics have in their arsonal. Google. I look and read all types of things about cancer. search pictures and even look up the percentage rate of a cancer victim. I cant help doing this. Its almost like I feel comforted and afraid at the same time. Its  an addiction to say the least. I hope to get reasurring results back from my doctor this month. However I know even if I  do. The cycle will start again. Be it a car crash fear or another health scare. I am always alert and always afraid.

0 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • lynne30411
    lynne30411 River_Song

    Posted

    Hi have you been diagnosed with health anxiety? Are you on any medication or been referred for any therapy?

    I have exactly the same thoughts - cancer and I'm going to leave my family - how will they cope, will my young children remember me, etc?

    I'm waiting for CBT, have an appointment next monday thankfully. Please try and stay away from DR Google, thats what Ive had to do. I now sit and watch rubbish on tv or pick up a book og i reach for my phone. Even the minor ailments in turn can be cancer according to Dr Google.

    • helen_07568
      helen_07568 lynne30411

      Posted

      Do you know us with vivid imaginations can talk our selves into any thing 
    • River_Song
      River_Song lynne30411

      Posted

      Hello Lynne. Yes I have been dianosged with Geniralized anxiety. This diagnosis is fairly new about a month ago. I have been prescribed Busprodoine. The doctor says 3 weeks and it starts to kick in. I feel it kicking in this week actually. Its a very low dose 5 mg. It makes me feel numb most of the time. I worry about my pill that makes me stop worrying ! But all in all I am relived when I am not frantic with fear.

       

  • dancory
    dancory River_Song

    Posted

    I have had health anxiety for a number of years . The smallest of pain used to cause me to panic ie heart problems . Brain tumor . Bresthing problems dying .

    As we get older, a variety of lumps and bumps can make their annoying appearance on our faces. Sometimes moles that were fairly small seem to get bigger and have more hair.

    Sometimes we notice the smaller version of the raised brownish spots that we saw on our grandfather’s balding pate. Sometimes acne seems to flare up even well past our adolescence. And sometimes we just notice bumps that mar the texture of the skin on our face.

    dont sit and worry 99.99% says its nothing to worry about. just our fight mode kicking in causing anxiety . We all worry about things and get our selfs into a right old state and gess what ...yes ..it never happens ..

    my favourite is chest pain ..heart problems ... when i think back i used to get the same pain 5 years ago and ....yes ...nothing has happened to me .

    Constant worrying takes a heavy toll. It keeps you up at night and makes you tense and edgy during the day. You hate feeling like a nervous wreck. So why is it so difficult to stop worrying?

    For most chronic worriers, the anxious thoughts are fueled by the beliefs—both negative and positive—they hold about worrying.

    On the negative side, you may believe that your constant worrying is harmful, that it’s going to drive you crazy or affect your physical health. Or you may worry that you’re going to lose all control over your worrying—that it will take over and never stop.

    On the positive side, you may believe that your worrying helps you avoid bad things, prevents problems, prepares you for the worst, or leads to solutions.

    Negative beliefs, or worrying about worrying, add to your anxiety and keep worry going. But positive beliefs about worrying can be just as damaging. It’s tough to break the worry habit if you believe that your worrying protects you. In order to stop worry and anxiety for good, you must give up your belief that worrying serves a positive purpose. Once you realize that worrying is the problem, not the solution, you can regain control of your worried mind

    you will be fine lean how to overcome anxiety and the thoughts will go away

    • River_Song
      River_Song dancory

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your advice and kind words. I know in my heart the worry does more harm than good. I try to remind myself that even if something awful happens when it comes to the circumstance I face that I had feared I get through it just fine. For instance My husband just lost a very good job. I used to fear him losing it with constant worry about this happining. He lost his job. We are getting thorough and finding better opportuinites. Its been the silver lining and all my problems. Its been very comforting to think when the sh*t does go wrong and if sh*t goes wrong I can handle it. Once again. thankyou for your advice it has been very comforting to hear too

       

    • River_Song
      River_Song dancory

      Posted

      Thank you so much for these kind words. I belive you have some very good points
    • dancory
      dancory River_Song

      Posted

      Your welcome always here if you need an ear to bend
  • kathy1952
    kathy1952 River_Song

    Posted

    Thank you for your post.. You are right on. We tend to hold on to wrry because of our beliefthat it gives us control in additin to alll the reasons that you listed. I am really trying to let it go and stop the merry go round. Very hard to do espcially in the winter when you don't have much sun or activities.
  • eleanor79071
    eleanor79071 River_Song

    Posted

    I'm new to this but I've been having upper abdominal pain for about 3 years now and a burning in the from part of both shoulders. The latest is pain behind the breastbone. I have had boits with shortness of breath and I have an annoying cough (more so when I focus on it) and a hoarse voice lately. I'm seriously worried that I have lung cancer.....could worrying about it and all my google searches be causing anxiety? And does anxiety actually case physical pain. I know it's actual pain..,,I feel it everyday....it's the main cause of my stress. I think about it all the time
    • lynne30411
      lynne30411 eleanor79071

      Posted

      Hi yes it does cause actual pain. I have health anxiety and worry that every ache or pain is cancer. This worry keeps my anxiety going which then causes physical symptoms like pins and needles, dizziness, muscle aches, headaches, nausea and a lot more. Then I obviously worry that these symptoms are something serious. Its a vicious cycle.

      I'm assuming you've been to your gp about the pains and all is ok? It may be worth going back and asking to be referred for CBT. This can retrain how you think and has certainly helped me deal with my anxiety in the past

  • kathy1952
    kathy1952 River_Song

    Posted

    Tha sounds totally like reflux. It causes pain and burning behind th brast bone and can also go between shoulder blades in thebaxk. If you have hat and is untreated then it can cause cough and horseness  difficulty Swallowing. I don't know if yu have tried and treatments for that but there are many over the counter meds. Or you might need a prescription strength. Definitey worth checking into.
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