ive been feeling like im going to die
Posted , 5 users are following.
So i'm a 19 yr old girl, ive been feeling like im going to get killed, someone is going to break in my apartment, im going to get raped, an evil spirit is going to get me when im sleeping, and every other crime. I check the locks on the doors multiple times a day. I even lock my bedroom door when I sleep. I also have a bathroom in my room and I always lock my room and bathroom door before I shower. I've been feeling like this for about 7 years now but it just keeps getting worse and worse. I live with my boyfriend and he drinks a lot where he isnt coherent. It makes me feel really unsafe not because i think he's going to hurt me, but because i feel that he wont be able to protect me when something bad happens. I feel like i cant protect myself. I can only fall asleep peacefully when i'm not alone. If i hear a crack I think someones trying to get me. Lately, I even get scared in daylight at my house when im alone. It might be from all the criminal minds I watch or from all the bad things I hear that happen to other people about being raped, killed, etc. I try my best to avoid going outside ecspecially when it's dark. Which sucks because it's never been this bad. It's like im constantly living in fear and I cant do anything about what is going to happen to me. I cant tell if it's anxiety, or im just paranoid, or even me being stressed out from fighting with my boyfriend constantly and feeling like my life is falling apart. I also lived with my mom and sibilings for all my life so i never lived on my own untill about 5 months ago so i feel that could be a factor as well ve always lived in areas with low crime rates but sometimes i think im so unlucky that the crimes that do happen will happen to me. This might sound silly and all in my head but someone once told me that the "devils hour" is 3 AM, and for years i will not fall asleep at any time of that hour. So if im already up I will wait till 4 to fall asleep. Sorry, this may be a lot of useless info and idk if im on the right forum to speak about this since ive never done this. anyone ever feel this way or am i alone? Im sick of feeling this way 24/7 and id like to get some advice on what i should do.
1 like, 2 replies
bytheseaside jada89253
Posted
Hi jada89253. I remember when I was your age thinking and feeling very similar things as you. And I used to believe I had lung cancer as well - went to the doctor twice about it, hoping I wasn't going to die, and both times it was nothing, but just living in fear about a lot of things. Yes, ghosts too. I don't have the same kinds of fears anymore at all, but I do have an anxiety disorder and always have, and it's my opinion everything you've described is related to an underlying anxiety disorder. I'm not a doctor so that's not a diagnosis, just my opinion. But maybe you could talk to your doctor about it. Or just try some different coping techniques - you can find them on the internet. Whatever the case, hang in there, you're not in danger, and just remember it's only your mind exaggerating and sending you the fearful thoughts, that's all.
mary73539 jada89253
Posted
Your Paranoia seems serious. If you haven't already, you should get yourself a doctor as well as inform your family. You should especially talk to your boyfriend about your worries with his drinking. Don't shut yourself inside. That will make things much worse. Go out in the sunlight and be with people. There's safety in numbers. Surround yourself with positive media and supportive people.