Job Interview Phobia

Thanks Harriet. I just don’t know how to get to the interview. The anxiety is so severe that I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place! I’ve barely eaten or slept in days. The interview will be formal with two senior managers and an HR representative, as well as a test. This absolutely terrifies me, especially as I can barely string a sentence together right now. Plus even if I do get through this, there will be further restructures as we go through this every few years! Add to this looking after a disabled sister who is in a right state after being told she has a tumour awaiting an appointment with her consultant for further results and parents who are fed up with the drama and I feel like I’ve reached saturation point. Joined the forum as I feel like I have nobody to talk to about all this.

Thanks Harriett. My anxiety today is so bad that even my safe place doesn’t feel so safe right now. I’m talking to myself, just saying I want to die and I’m shaking and crying. Although I would never hurt myself, I feel like I’m going mad. I don’t want to leave my job but I’m going to have to, otherwise I’m going to end up in a psychiatric unit at this rate. So sad but if I take time out to get help, maybe it will be the best thing I ever do. Just scared this is it and I’ll never work again. When only you can make a big decision like this when you are not in your right mind is so difficult and once this restructure is over it’s going to hit me very hard. I hate what this company has done to me, it’s so unfair when you’ve dedicated a huge portion of your life to it.

Hi Lynsey

I understand the situation. These people have no right to make you feel like this. No one has.

?You need to feel safe especially in your own home. I have had similar feelings caused by bad employers  but in the end they do not care and are simply not worth it.

Anyone would have the same reaction. PTSD.

. All this is so unfair but indicative of the world we live in.

Here in the UK restructuring goes on , as I said before it happened to my husband.

There was a new HR Manager who was very unpopular threatening people that if they were off sick for more than seven days a YEAR they would be referred to Occupational Health. This was a University as well.

This does not happen in the majority of Companies because no one can help being ill. 

It is illegal to threaten people like this.

?So supposing you were well enough to go for this interview and was successful could you handle the thought of going back into work under such a rigid management 'structure' or would you feel better . Or would you be better off getting redundancy  pay and getting out .

If so what are the options open to you about getting another job, getting a reference and choosing a sympathetic, compassionate normal  employer.

What are the prospects of getting alternative employment?

What is the situation in the US of getting temp work and having a good look round to find a good employer?

What is the deal over money if you decide to get out of this horrible situation.

Will you be able to manage financially on the redundancy money and for how long?

Will you be able to get a reference? You should seeing as you have worked there for a long time.

?Anyone  would feel stressed out at all of this. 

Imagine getting out would that strengthen you to get out of this depression and agoraphobia.

What coping mechanisms are available to you.

It sounds to me as though you are being bullied but talking to someone may help to get things into perspective and help you make the right decision for you.

The 'new structured company seem ruthless but you know them better than I. It could be they are an insecure inadequate management finding their feet and not realising the repercussions on good, decent, loyal, hardworking employees.  

The last thing you want to do is to cave in , then these people will have won. You need support but not necessarily in a psychiatric unit because then you will be worrying about other things as well.

Go on online for forums on redundancy and the ill effects on people etc. Redundancy counselling may help you realise and understand these horrible feelings you are presently experiencing. Remember it is not you who is redundant it is the job. 

You are still you. The same nice, kind, caring, decent, hardworking person who is going through a riyugh time at the moment but who is determined to keep cool and strong to enable yourself to get through all this s....

I assume you are in the US. I do not know employment rights of 

Hi Harriett, no I live in the UK. My employers have always been great until we got a new head in our service who seemingly hasn’t listened to our concerns over the number of cuts. We would be expected to do more with less, so even surviving this means my workload will increase. I cannot fault my line manager as she’s great but even she has been left dangling all weekend over whether she still has a job! This all feels like someone trying to stamp their mark at the company and getting it totally wrong! I have savings as well as the redundancy money to keep me going for a while and they will give me a reference. I work in local government and unfortunately these restructures are a common occurrence. I’ll make sure I speak to them to talk through my options and how I’m feeling. Part of me does want to just say I quit. I think they would be pretty shocked if I left, especially as they rely on me a lot to get things done but hey, seems I can’t be that important to them!

LOCAL GOVERNMENT. Like the NHS. Universities, the Education , Judicial and Penal system are all examples of a Bureacratic Organisation.Rigid riules and regulations, no accountability, no autonomy, inflexible etc.

You either fit in to avoid getting mental and/or physical illnesses or get out to keep your sanity etc. Some  people remain impervious but it usually gets to them.

Local Government is inflexible. I agree that it does sound like poor management eager to make their mark, they will probably be sacked ina year or so but that does not help you . If your line manager is feeling under threat of losing her job can you ask her what the options for both of areI take it you are worried about losing your pension should u decide on redundancy?

There has toi be a UNion where u are but can u trust them?

I have worked as a nurse in LG so know the problems involved trust me.

Keep strong. There is life after redundancy. Remember keep telling yourself, it is the job that is being made redundant, NOT ME.

Suggest that you keep on repeating this mantra.

It is all about saving money as well.

?You are important , these people do not care. They just want to impress the hierarchy. They don;'t care about doing a good job. Don't let them get to you. They are unprofessional to say the least. It would be interesting to see their cv.

Don’t worry, I don’t want to hurt myself. I’ve had anxiety for years but I would never do that. Talking on this forum has been really helpful and imparting my wisdom to others on my experiences means I do not feel alone in all this. I’m most terrified of calling my mother today, as she has never understood my illness. She can be very harsh and will push me towards doing the interview, even though she’s seen the state I’m in. That’s the problem with family, one says leave and the other says do it! Talking to people you don’t know is a lot easier.

Hi again Lynsey

?Please continue to keep feeling positive. Aim to get up and stay up as well!

?Some jobs/organisations cause so  much stress and so much anxiety, depression, it is unbelievable. No job is ideal but when it affects ones health then one has to consider perhaps a job or career change. This is not to say the person is not competent to do the job because in most cases the person is more than capable. It is the work environment, the Organisational structure that is very often grossly wrong, out of order etc.

Talking to stranger is often helpful. That is very true.

At the end of the day it is your life. If you already have anxiety as most people do due to modern life and stress then being pressurised or not being listened to can make it all worse. I do not wish to interfere in 6your relationship with your mother but do you have to discuss anxious situations with her? She is most certainly concerned but unable to relate to you in the way you want.

That's family for you!!!!! We can shrug off 'advice' from friends but when it comes to family we tend to take more notice !! Sometimes to our own detriment and better judgment.

I would take each day as it comes. Baby steps. AIm to look at new options such as seeking a job elsewhere perhaps or certainly look around to reassure yourself that you have choices. YOU not anyone else but YOU.

Keep strong.

 

 

Just spoke to my mother and she was nothing but kind. However I’ve fallen into this trap before and then she turns on you or you find out she’s said something completely different to another family member! For now it’s helped calm me down a bit. Thanks for all the links you’ve sent, I’ve been looking through them. I have also been looking at other jobs. I had been thinking of becoming a personal trainer. Maybe while I work out my notice I can get myself ripped, work on my mental health and start a new life! Just got to get my head away from thinking that losing my job means the end of my life. I don’t want to fall into a trap where I don’t do anything. I have a good amount of savings as well as the redundancy money but it will only pay the bills for so long!

Hi Lynsey Sounds like you have a very good plan! Brill.

?Your mother. I know what you mean. My mother in law was like that , sort of manipulative with a sting in the tail . That's how she got her kicks. Anyway I would try and dwell on the positive aspects you have identified. The world is your oyster. One door closes and another opens. Grab the opportunity.

Make sure you get financial advice about your pension rights and any Occupational Pension as well as redundancy money . Try to find out how they work the amount of money due to you out. I would contact CAB or get free legal advice etc.

Don't do anything in a rush and always take advice about your rights. Especially when it comes to money. Don't be led by the nose get everything in writing and make sure there are no loopholes or get out clauses in the small print etc.

If you are still of sick how can you go for this bloody interview anyhow?

Can u get a sick note off your dr, also always photocopy medical certificates and keep them in a safe place .

?Keep strong.  xx

Hi again, I’d put off going to the doctor as he’d sign me off in this state and they probably wouldn’t be able to interview me then. My line manager texted me earlier to say that she and my previous line manager (someone who has been my rock and leaves this week 😢 are meeting with HR in a last ditched attempt to plead my case. Although I really don’t see them being able to do anything, it shows how much they care. They know how hard I’ve worked. Shame those who don’t know me make the decisions. I’m guessing they will say to HR that while the process has to be seen as fair, it’s not so fair for someone like me who suffers from crippling anxiety when faced with one of my biggest phobias, interviews.  I’ll let you know what happens. I’d rather be employed and seek a new career path than unemployed and having to choose!