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Just cant seem to feel better!

Posted , 8 users are following.

bryan91285
bryan91285

Hi. This is my first time ever posting this on the web. I'm nervous and relucant to try but I feel that I have no choice. I am being treated for severe depression, which at first just meant that I was on medication and life seemed to be manageable and I'd go as far as saying that I was "Happy". I dont know when or how or what the trigger was but now I'm on two types of medication for my depression. No matter what happens, I just cant or dont feel happy any more. I have no passion or zest to get up every morning, I'd rather just stay in bed and disappear.

I'm married to the love of my life, have a beautiful step daughter. I'm employed which these days are getting harder to do, I'm good at what I do. My parents are healthy, my brother and his wife have a 3yr old boy.

Yet, I want to disappear. I feel insignificant, worthless and hopeless. I feel that if I died today no one would care. All of this I know isn't true, but at the same time I don't believe it. And now it's starting to effect my work. It started at first to just a day off, then 2. There are days at work that I feel that I'm in way over my head, that I have no idea what I'm doing or if I do know I have no idea where to start. Work so far has been understanding, my next step is to go to a counsellor. Which is covered under my benefits, yet I'm dragging my feet.  Just recently I have been off work due to problems with my stomach and not being able to go to the bathroom. I believe in my heart that 50% of this problem is because of my depression. I just called in to work again sick and I could hear the disgust / non caring attitude in their voice. I'm at risk of losing a job I love.

Can anyone help me before it's too late.

1 like, 22 replies

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  • marareta
    marareta bryan91285

    Posted

    You are not alone in your fight with depression a concillor will help a lot just go see one i also bought a book called clare weeks self help for your nerves it is a brillant book realy helped me and on line if you can find anxiety centre run by jim folk become a member it covers every thing and i know it will help you it did me chin up!!
  • christian97922
    christian97922 bryan91285

    Posted

    Hi Bryan. 

    Apologies if anything I'm about to say sounds blunt, but i like to get straight to the point.

    its clear to me that you have depression. I suffer with clinical depression, and for me there is no trigger or cause. Its a simple chemical imbalance. There is no shame to be had in being ill.

    mine is controlled by medication, of which I've had around 6 different types over time, and I'm now on a drug which gives my life a sense of purpose. I no longer feel numb or insignificant. I laugh, cry and get angry just like everyone else, and for me, antidepressants saved my life. 

    I implore you to see a doctor and get help with the right medication for your needs. It isn't a quick fix, and can sometimes feel like nothing is happening, but i promise you that things will get better. Good luck

    • bryan91285
      bryan91285 christian97922

      Posted

      Thank you very much Christian, being blunt helps.

      And I'd like to say to everyone. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you. Your support and help mean the world to me.

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