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Just checking to make sure everyone’s doing okay?

Posted , 14 users are following.

Livelife
Livelife

Hey everyone

I remembered when I first got diagnosed and I had no help what so ever, no one told me anything even on this group I just had depressed people (obviously) but I had no one telling me how their life planned out 

So 

If you have just been diagnosed or if you are struggling 

Please message me and I’ll give you whatever advice I have 

I’ve had this a long time now

And my life has never been better, I met a new guy and I love him so much were talking about moving in together 

He’s never caught it off me and we have unprotected sex 

I’m okay now, I don’t think about this anymore I don’t even care that I have it anymore 

So if you feel like you can’t see your future or you just need a non judgemental talk

Then hit me up!!!

I’m a 22 year old girl from England x

0 likes, 23 replies

23 Replies

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  • frank_95069
    frank_95069 Livelife

    Posted

    It's awesome to see someone so positive and upbeat. I wish I could get to that point. I was diagnosed about a month ago. It just feels like my love life and dating will never be the same again. I don't even know how to approach it. Time has somewhat eased my mind and reading these discussions also helps. I have a bad mind for these things which I'm also trying to get help for.

    • Livelife
      Livelife frank_95069

      Posted

      Hi frank! 

      It’s still very new isn’t it for you, at a month I was at the same stage as you 

      I thought life was pointless I honestly thought my life was over and done with

      But let me tell you now that depressive feeling DOES go away

      I would search hours for someone to tell me that to tell me they were okay now

      But no one ever did 

      But I’m telling you now, relationship or not you’ll begin to accept it and you will get to wear I am and not care anymore

      You can’t expect someone else to accept your diagnosis if you can’t accept it yourself 

      By the time I told my new partner I think I’d started to accept it and I knew that if he didn’t like me then it was NEVER meant to happen

      But obviously it was meant to happen and I’m thankful everyday for meeting him and I have to say if I never got diagnosed with this

      I would never be with him now and I would of missed out on the best chapter in my life so I’m a way I’m grateful

      I’ve never passed it on to him and we’ve been going on a year now, we have unprotected sex regular

      And I know he loves me

      this will be a blessing it helps you worm out who wants to be their forever, if they can’t see a future with you they won’t stay and if they do they will give you s chance!!! 

      There are also plenty of herpes positive saying websites which my friend found her partner off

      I never joined because I didn’t want to ‘stop’ my life because of this 

      I wanted to just listen to my path and meet who I meet! 

      My advice for you is work on yourself

      You don’t need a relationship right now you just want one 

      Get a new diet

      Start exercising and you will feel amazing 

      I really do care for everyone going through this because no matter what our life paths were 

      We never deserved this

      We never asked for this 

      But we have got it so we need to stick together and help each other 

    • frank_95069
      frank_95069 Livelife

      Posted

      Funny you mentioned the diet and what not. This diagnosis came after I lost 40-50 pounds, quit smoking and made huge lifestyle changes just to get slapped in the face by herpes. I'm coming to terms with everything. I'm seeking mental help which is what I believe has always been an underlying problem for me.

    • Livelife
      Livelife frank_95069

      Posted

      Yes frank

      I had underlying mental health problems and it made the issue a lot worst for me

      I started to sort out my mental health and I felt much better! You need to focus on every part of you x

  • Louise_15130
    Louise_15130 Livelife

    Posted

    That’s great I’m 32 from England had it just Over two years. I met someone and told him before we had sex which I had the worst anxiety for weeks and lost so much weight through stressing about it but he was ok with it.  I was seeing for 8 months on suppressive therapy and never passed it on well he never showed symptoms. We’ve recently broke up because he’s a cheating arsehole but I’m in the same mindset I’ve got it and when I do meet someone else and have to tell them I’m hoping it will be easier than the first time round. There is life after it, and I won’t let it define me it is what it is and sounds much worse I hate saying the actual word, but I’ve got it for life now and just going to deal with it as best I can. We’ve all been at that depressive point where we thought no one would ever want us again and it’s not the case. Maybe there will be ones that it will put them off but then there not the right person anyway. Thanks for sharing and being so positive it’s what a lot of people on here need to hear :-) x
    • Livelife
      Livelife Louise_15130

      Posted

      You’re exactly right Louise

      Your ex was an arsehole and he didn’t deserve you

      But you should feel good about yourself! You let him go because he cheated, a lot of people with herpes would keep a man even if they cheated because they feel they are ‘lucky’ to get a man regardless and that’s not the bloody case at all

      You’re so strong and you probably don’t even know it, you will meet someone again or course you will!

      But only if you remain positive, you had a good experience telling someone before even though it turned crappy

      So that’s just to say

      I did it before and I can do it again 

      Glad you’re doing okay x

  • Pound_McFurious
    Pound_McFurious Livelife

    Posted

    I'll add to the positive feels.

    After nearly two years since diagnosis..  not a single outbreak after 1st and 2nd (2 months later which was super mild).

    It's almost as if not infected at all.  It can't be diet. I changed that and it's for the better but it's not verily different from my old ways. I just eat healthier in general. Took up cooking and doing live streams making weird dishes for friends and audience. Maybe I have an extraordinarily strong immune system? 

    Nevertheless, my life is not really different and I don't even think about it anymore sans the horrible idea of infecting my wife. We are very careful about it, though, just in case.

    But yeah.  Life is normal.  Hope that puts some sunshine in someone's day. 

     

  • Mels50491
    Mels50491 Livelife

    Posted

    Hello! I've HSV-2 for about 5 years now and generally have no flares unless I'm very stressed out. Perhaps 2 or 3 times a year of late. I've become close with a guy I've been mates with for many years. I like him but I'm scared of telling him or should I say I don't know how to tell him??

    Any advice on how I can bring this up in conversation. I'm worried...

    Mel's x

    • Livelife
      Livelife Mels50491

      Posted

      My advice and let me tell you my advice has worked for me and 3 other I’d my herpes + friends

      Is to act like it’s not a big day

      Don’t say things like:

      ‘You’re probably not going to want to be with me after this’

      ‘I understand if you don’t want me’

      Do not cry

      Practise saying it in front of a mirror, crying makes it seem even worst

      If you do any of these things you’re scaring him away before he has the chance to think

      Don’t even use the word herpes if you want 

      Say you get cold sores down there, no one cares about cold sores, he will do his research and realise cold sores are herpes and it’ll be like a big revelation! 

      Tell him the risks 

      Tell him the info like it’s just an inconvience 

      I told my partner like this

      ‘Yeah I’ve got to tell you something before we get steamy, I get cold sores down there and these are the risks’

      The risks for type 2 being that if you take antivirals and use condoms it’s like 1% chance PER YEAR of passing it on

      So let him no that 

      If you have type 1 it’s almost impossible to pass on genital to genital! And if you do have type 1 I wouldn’t even bother telling him! 

      Keep it light

      Keep it funny

      No crying

      No apologising 

      Hope it goes well

      If he really likes you then he will accept it x

  • r61311
    r61311 Livelife

    Posted

    hello livelife, i’d love to talk to you! i’m 19, haven’t been tested (yet) but i have reasonable suspicion to think i have hsv-2. i have been trying to talk myself into getting the test done (i have a bf and we have not had sex yet, no way am i letting that happen before i know my status) and it’d be so great to have someone to talk to about how to handle my situation x
    • Livelife
      Livelife r61311

      Posted

      Hey what makes you think you have it?x
    • r61311
      r61311 Livelife

      Posted

      i’ve had several unprotected encounters with multiple peoplesad then a month and a half later i had a white pimple on my labia majora. freaked out and went to the doctor, they said it was folliculitis. then i had some on and off itching all around my mons pubis for about a week. and now i just had a cut in my butt (sorry about all the tmi) i made a post about it in more detail. i just have a really bad feelingsad
    • Livelife
      Livelife r61311

      Posted

      I really doubt you have it babe, try not to worry x
  • lori73929
    lori73929 Livelife

    Posted

    Hello Livelife

    It is very hard for me to say this, and I have build up the courage to actually create an account and speak about my situation.  I have been feeling extremely depressed, very guilty.  I was diagnosed by a doctor on Sunday exactly 5 days ago, that I have herpes downthere (he did not test) but today I went to get a blood tested (in 72 hrs, I will receive the results.  wether is type 1 or 2) but we will see.   I feel like I don't deserve to live.  I am not suicidal or anything, but i feel such extreme shame, I have been crying and would love to speak to someone that has gone through this.

     

    • frank_95069
      frank_95069 lori73929

      Posted

      Still going through it, it does get easier with time and this discussion forum will help quite a bit. It's very hard to deal with and I can't say it's easy cause I'm still having trouble myself

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